I surrender to my Guru, Shri Mohanji all the words that I pen here and all the thoughts that flow in my mind while I pen these experiences. – Rakshitha, Australia
Who is Mohanji to me?
To me, Mohanji is Lord Shiva himself; He is all the Masters projecting through a screen called Mohanji. He is my Mt. Kailash. He is my Father and Mother. He is the only person I have an eternal relationship with all through my existence and pre-existence. He is my Guru. He is my all, my everything.
My longing for finding my Guru
I am amazed by the way the Guru Parampara moulded me all these years through various God forms. From childhood, my favourite God has been Lord Hanuman. I love the purity in him. My mom used to do ‘Sundara Kaandam’ parayanam (recitation) when I was a kid. I used to wake up with her, sleep on her lap as she read the book loudly for my grandmother to hear. I developed great respect for Lord Hanuman and he is the first God I go to for anything and everything. During the course of life, my childhood took sudden, dramatic turns and I lost complete faith in God or rather life itself. I became an atheist, falling entirely on psychology, science etc.
Six years later, my life saw a series of sudden and unexpected changes. At that point in time, I had no job, no place to stay, no food to eat, my life seemed to have come to a complete stop. My mom advised me to visit the Mylapore (Chennai) Shirdi Sai temple, which I did, after a lot of procrastination and contemplation. At that point, I didn’t even know who Sai Baba was. The moment I went into the temple and saw Baba’s murthy (statue), tears started flowing uncontrollably. I think I almost cried for 15-20 minutes just looking at him. I didn’t ask for anything but prayed to him to give me strength to face whatever happens. When I came out of the temple, I got a call from Hewlett Packard (HP) confirming that my interview had been successful and they were happy to offer employment.
Life took a 360 degree turn from then on. I googled a little about Baba and was so happy to know that he was a saint who lived 60-80 years before I was born. The happiness came out of knowing that Baba does not belong to some unknown mythology but lived in North India just few decades before me as a real human being, living a human life in flesh and blood. My visits to his temple strengthened my faith in him and I got the answers from him when I needed them most. I was able to feel his invisible hands guiding me all the time.
Two years later, when my ego was at its peak with a high paying job, a house that I bought with a loan, and a decently settled life, I met with a very small accident that brought me back to reality. Three ligaments in my right knee was completely damaged and had to be reconstructed, making me bed-ridden for almost 45 days. I then realized the value of people in life and I realized how much my ego had inflated. I utilized this time to read the Satcharita of Shirdi Baba. One year later, I lost my job in recession, which got me completely on to my knees and grounded.
All my job searches ended in vain. Eight months of insecurity, piling up loans, ripped open my ego and I had to be dependent on someone for necessities. It was indeed a roller coaster ride. My thirst for knowledge made me go in search of my roots – being born and raised as a Hindu-Brahmin, I had this innate thirst to know the beyond, as I thought it would serve as an answer to the life of twists and turns that I had to face. Baba’s Satcharita always recommends one to read the Bhagavad Gita. I utilized the eight months of break and I got myself an audio book of Mahabharatha and Bhagavad Gita.
That was the best investment I made in my life. I got so much clarity and that was the first time I started practicing acceptance. Though I questioned a lot, I was slowly getting into accepting what was given to me; I started aspiring for more knowledge on karma, death and after life. Every time I was ready, Baba gave me another spoonful to chew. In parallel, I got placed in a job for which I attended interviews a year ago. Though a lesser salary in comparison to the previous, I was able to appreciate a job that landed on its own after eight months of being jobless.
My search and questions about life, death, life after death etc. continued and I stumbled on Osho’s teachings, through which Baba answered many of my doubts, questions etc. As I didn’t have any favorite Gods, and as Baba was not in his physical body, I was able to appreciate the answers that came through different means, like the Internet, books, etc. Every time I read the Satcharita, my heart would long for the physical presence of Baba. I longed to be near Baba, at least as part of the soil under his feet. I longed to be able to serve him, be with him etc. This longing transformed to such an extent that I started asking Baba to now give me a chance to serve a living Guru – in his physical form. My prayers had always been this, “To meet an authentic Guru and to be able to serve him when he is in his physical body. To be associated with him and serve the world as his instrument.”
Like Osho says,
“When a disciple is ready, the Master appears.”
How I got to know Mohanji?
I resorted to making myself ready and waiting and not search on my own for a Master, as I believed that Baba would bring a living Master to me when I was most eligible for it. Above all, Shirdi Baba has been my highest Guru and God himself, just that I missed seeing him in his physical form – in flesh and blood. Somewhere from 2012/2013 onwards, every time my longing to serve a physical Guru intensified, I would somehow land up reading Mohanji’s blog. His words break concepts, keeps me grounded and cuts through the ego like a sharp knife. Since I am used to Osho’s direct way of communication, Mohanji’s words made more sense to me, though it was sharp.
The one particular blog about Naga Loka gave me a hint that I am always being guided by the NATH tradition.
He also adds that the disciple never questions “Why” to his Guru and simply accepts. I stopped asking why since that day to Shirdi Sai Baba and accepted everything as his will.
Like this, many a time, I would land in Mohanji’s blog, but I never felt serious about HIM being my living Guru etc. At some point, I connected to Him through Facebook, ‘Para Brahma’ and after few months disconnected from Him, as I learnt (stupidity/lack of faith/ test for a disciple) that Google Adwords can play up by bringing the relevant pages that we read earlier. Again after a few months, I found myself landing on Mohanji’s blog when my prayers intensified to Baba to show me an authentic living Guru. I went through Devi’s blogs of living with a Master and something struck a chord in me. My heart said I have found a living Guru, but my logical, ever questioning, ever skeptical mind failed to accept Him. I read the same words in one of Mohanji’s blogs,
“When a disciple is ready, the Master appears,”
which confirmed to me that He is my living Guru.
My First Meeting With Mohanji
I never made an attempt to contact Mohanji or speak to Him. But within myself, I accepted Him as my Guru and told myself that when I am eligible, I would get to meet Him. Until then, I would silently follow the messages from my Master and work within me to make myself an eligible disciple. I left it to the Master/ Baba to decide what happens after that. My only goal was acceptance of whatever that may happen and not ask, “Why?”
In 2015, during my husband’s past life regression sessions, he got a message to meet Mohanji. At that time, all my husband knew was that Mohanji is my Guru. He wasn’t interested in any spiritual gyan as he would call it and every time I would share some good messages or blogs, he would say “Please keep your philosophy with yourself.” I hated that I was unable to share anything with him, but still live with him. However I accepted this as I understood that this life was a choice I made, fully knowing what I am getting into. Acceptance gave me so much peace and at times made me laugh at my choices, thinking to myself, “What was I thinking when I made this choice?”
Like Mohanji says,
“when life throws tantrums at you, the best reaction you can have is laughter.”
Meanwhile, in November 2015, when I was so scared about my license test after one failure, Mohanji came in my dream on the day of the test, put his hand on my head and blessed me. I passed the test that day.
In December 2015, my husband had made plans for a surprise meeting in Bangalore with Mohanji which I wasn’t aware of until the night before. When I got to know of it, I couldn’t sleep. I had mixed emotions, in terms of what would I say when meeting Him, how would He react, what questions would I ask, will He acknowledge me as His disciple, how would my husband react, too many things. My mind was constantly chattering. At one point almost early in the morning, I surrendered everything and just slept for the remaining few hours. In the morning on the way to meeting Him, I was so excited that I didn’t speak a word, but just sat smiling all the way.
We entered the house where He was and quietly waited for Him. He came out from an inside room and walked towards us. One glance at Him and I poured. I melted. I cried for a few minutes, have no idea until now why I cried so much.
Mohanji looked at me, smiled at me and said,
“You have been waiting for this meeting for life times.”
It made me cry more, an instant recognition of my longing. Then we had an opportunity to eat breakfast with Him. I couldn’t speak in front of Him. I felt like I could spend the rest of my life just looking at Him. On the contrary, my husband was pouring out with questions and Mohanji answered all of them with utmost patience.
He gave us Shaktipat that day.
The best one hour of my life was spent in the presence of my Guru.
When we were about to leave, He gave His eye card and a couple of toffees. My mind playfully compared the number of toffees to the number that my husband received. Silly me! Mohanji immediately gave me a couple of toffees more and smiled. I will not forget that incident. A great learning to keep the mind in control in front of a Master, else He is reading it all.
We left with a feeling that this was just the beginning.
Koti Koti pranams at His lotus feet where I belong.
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