THE SCAR OF RICHNESS: PART 2

Written by: Mina Obradovic

What have I done as a boy from that life to fall so low in my spiritual path and lose all what I have worked hard for? Where did Guruji go and why didn’t I have any protection afterwards?

This is a continuation of the previous blog THE SCAR OF RICHNESS: PART 1

“Let’s go”, said Guruji and indicated with His head that He is starting and He wants me to accompany Him. I didn’t know where we were going, nor I cared. I knew Guruji knows the best, hence I followed Him. I said, “Guruji, I have surrendered to you.” Guruji said, “Don’t rush. Wait for some more and say that again.”
I didn’t understand what guruji meant by saying this, but I continued walking anyways. After a few hours, tired of walking, we reached a temple of Lord Krishna, seated inside the green hills. Guruji led me to it, left me there and started walking away.
“Where are you going, guruji?”, I asked Him. “Didn’t you want to show me something?”
Guruji turned around and said, “No. You stay there.”
Even though it was unexpected for me to stay alone in the middle of an unknown area such as this, I obeyed Guruji’s words and stayed there in the temple premises as He continued walking the dusty road towards the open field. He went back to the house where we used to stay which was three and a half hours away from this temple.

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Our humble ashram was small and only two of us lived there – Guruji and I. It had one humble bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen. Guruji and I used to sleep in the bedroom on two thin and simple mattresses. Shayna was a lady who used to cook for us. She didn’t actually live with us (she lived with her mother in a near by house), but ever since she started cooking for us she spontaneously started spending more and more time in our ashram, either cleaning the altar, walking around or just sitting inside in Guruji’s presence. Despite of spending that much time in our ashram, she never forgot her mother. She took extra care of her and made sure she always has good and fresh food to eat, clean place to sleep and whatever else the mother required from her loving daughter. Shayna was always silent and through her silent nature I could learn more than through some people who speak a lot. She never charged anything for her services to us, and she was a deeply connected devotee of Guruji. Guruji never wanted to take anything for free, so He always used to bless her with much more than she ever gave Him. Although Guruji often seemed as if He doesn’t care about anything, including me and Shayna, we were somehow always taken care of by Him.

Guruji almost never expressed affection towards anybody, including me and Shayna, but there is no doubt that His love was beyond our imagination. Since Shayna started cooking for us in the proximity of Guruji, I witnessed her life transforming. Only looking back, I can see how much Guruji made our lives meaningful and how much of light and blessings He showered upon us. Like I said, His love might not have been recognizable to everybody who used to meet Him in everyday life. His “carelessness” sometimes used to lead us to wonder if He has any feelings at all. Most of the people considered Guruji as a mad man, a poor beggar or as a wandering monk. Some even thought that He used to sexually abuse Shayna, but they never understood the purity of the connection they actually had. They had the purest God-disciple relation which was hardly understandable by the prejudiced minds of the society. Shayna knew whatever people thought of her, but she was never affected. I believe she kept her divine connection to Guruji close to her heart without exposing it too much to others. For her, it was enough for that she knows the truth and that Guruji knows it as well. She was indeed a Saint. She always continued doing her job without any other involvement. Even her mother used to treat Shayna carelessly and used to convince her that Guruji is just using her kindness for negative purposes. Shayna always maintained respect towards her mother, which Guruji always encouraged her to do. Once, when Shayna was insecure on how to handle her mother’s impolite behaviour, Guruji told her, “A mother is the Divine Mother. A father is the Divine Father. No matter what, treat them as such.” Shayna obeyed to Guruji’s advices and, ever since He said this, she used to serve her mother with full reverence without complaints. She deeply believed that every mood swing of her mother is Divine Mother’s way of testing her endurance. Shayna never fell for these small tests and always remained as tranquil as water when it came to serving her mother. This way of service gave her many spiritual powers even without herself being aware. Her intention was pure and innocent, far away from gaining anything for herself.

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One day while Shayna was cooking (at the time when the stories about Shayna being sexually involved with Guruji were circling in our neighbourhood), for the first time ever she said, “I love Guruji with all my heart.”

I indeed liked hearing those words from her, because she rarely ever spoke. Suddenly the strangest thought appeared in my mind, “Is there a chance that Guruji might be sexually involved with her anyway? They say a guru doesn’t have such needs, but is Guruji of that high stature already? Even if He is, maybe He is sexually involved with Shayna for some other purposes. The connection that I believe they have seems a little bit unreal to me, when I think. She is young and pretty, and He is old and looks like a beggar. Why wouldn’t He want anything sexual to do with her?”
I was deeply embarrassed by these thoughts for even existing in my mind! I didn’t like their vibration and I deleted them from my system immediately! I swore to always trust Guruji hundred percent and not to care about what He does and says, because I know He knows the best!

After Guruji left me that day in the temple premises, I stayed there for a couple of days holding the toes of Lord Krishna’s idol with my both hands and meditating on them. Guruji never taught me this practice, but He somehow conveyed it to me telepathically. I simply knew what to do when He brought me to the temple that day. These small signs of our telepathic connection were proving my connectivity with His consciousness. I was happy to see myself progressing, as Guruji and I started merging into One.

Days passed, and I telepathically felt Guruji calling me to come back to our ashram. On my way to there, I came across a man who used to give his old clothes to me and Guruji to wear when we didn’t have our own. His name was Gaada. He was a very good man, in his sixties, but what he spoke that day affected me negatively, in a most unexpected way. He happily greeted me and asked me about Guruji. I told him that He is in our ashram. He asked, “Where is Shayna?” I told him the same – in the ashram. Despite of Gaada’s pure intention, those two questions were enough to catch a spark of doubt towards Guruji (the one that arose within me a couple of days ago) and nurture more doubts to sprout. A bunch of thoughts kept poisoning my mind, “Guruji only cares about Shayna and sex! He has a need for it and He lied to me! What is this life about? Everything is a lie! His selfishness costed me my time and energy!” Crying in despair I knew these thoughts were not true, but I was too weak to fight them! I was trying hard to remember everything good that Guruji has given me until now, everything that He sacrificed His own self for – for me, but everything suddenly seemed unreal! Whatever I remembered ended up with a thought, “Oh, is it? May be all is just a coincidence. May be all this is not true.” A thought that I should have written down all the good things that Guruji gave me in my life pierced my mind sharply and I regretted badly that I have never done that. As I started to feel drained, my body started to feel extremely weak. I lied down on a stone and started thinking. I tried fighting those thoughts by bringing the logic out – “Guruji has expressed non attachment to the earth so many times until now, so why do I feel He has a need for anything at all? If sexuality is a problem, then let it be. Even if my Guruji sleeps with thousands of women, I will never doubt Him!” The negativity overpowered me, and not because they are more powerful than the positive, but because I knew no way to exit this situation on my own! I needed tools to avoid this trap of the mind, but I did not have any!

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Today, I am happy to share these blogs with you, because today I have tools which are still helping me and which will help you fight the negative – tools that I have earned through blood and sweat, through THE SCAR OF RICHNESS.

After my mind was already contaminated, I rushed to Guruji in pain and feeling of betrayal, and I found Him calmly sitting on the floor in His usual lotus posture. I was screaming of pain, accusing Him of everything negative that happened in my life after meeting Him. Regardless of the fact that I could have chosen another 95% of the positive things instead of the 5% of the “negative” (they were anyway lessons that I chose to experience before taking birth), I anyway chose the 5% of the negative, KNOWING very well that those 5% were also REDUCED by guruji’s grace – before meeting Him the negative side of my life used to be 80%! I was crying in blindness and Guruji was sitting and listening. His physical expression said nothing, because of which I was becoming even more angry! “Why doesn’t He care about me?”, I shouted inside. He kept watching the show as I continued crying in despair. “You are a liar!”, I said and regretted badly. Nothing ever injured my heart like the feeling of Guruji betraying me, but, He never betrayed me indeed! His physical form was expressing no emotion. Trapped in the illusion that He is the physical, I believed the cunning entities who were silently whispering lies in my ears that He doesn’t love me. Guruji never liked any of His children falling into the negative, but today that was not at all visible on His face. His expression had no emotion, but the warmth of His subtle heart silently said, “My child, be careful, I am your saviour. Hold me and you will hold Light. Lose me and you will lose Yourself. I am You. I am Light.” With the dark lens of illusion and emotions before my eyes I could only see darkness, and could not hear Guruji’s innocent home calling! My telepathic connection with Him already started dissolving! I started losing Him… I started losing myself…

Only a few more loud voices of my mind pierced the silence. I walked away from the ashram without saying anything else.

TO BE CONTINUED…

||JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||

Disclaimer:
The views, opinions and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

The Scar of Richness: Part 1

Written by: Mina Obradovic

It is true!

So many times I have heard people and Masters, including Mohanji, saying that if one falls in frequency by talking bad about somebody, especially Masters, it will take them so many lifetimes to again come to the stage of being in the presence of Masters (like we are in Mohanji’s presence now).

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Photo courtesy hoshanarabbah.org

It is said that the journey from total blindness to a point of even knowing about a Master takes numerous lifetimes, let alone being in his physical presence. As a normal human being, with a prejudiced mind, I could not understand this truth until I experienced the scars of it on my own skin. Today, because of this scar, I can call myself RICH, because this scar reminds me of the gratitude I must have towards God for holding my hand even when I chose to fall and for helping me climb the stairs of fire to reach Mohanji in this life, after great struggle in the past. RICH is whatever holds the key of gratitude towards the Almighty, because without Himself nothing would have had any meaning, just like my life before meeting Mohanji didn’t have. This scar also reminds me of the power every word we utter has and it taught me to think carefully before speaking. This SCAR is RICHNESS, and in order to avoid suffering on your spiritual path, please learn from my mistakes and let your reminder be my scar, and not your own.

After one of the major tests of my life (given by the negative side) which happened recently (I will not go into details now – maybe in another blog), I had to literally take several days to mentally recover and be able to see light again. During those couple of days I was continuously in an anxious and partially depressive state. Luckily, I received help from a doctor and a few other friends who took extra care of me during my recovery, as I was unable to do so on my own.

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The negative beings, apart from whispering lies in my ears that the people who were actually helping me get through my condition are in fact evil and they want nothing but to use me and hurt me, they were also trying hard to separate me from my own self and everything good that I can think and do for myself and society, with the aim of finally detaching me from the white path and its Masters.

Although many realizations arose within me throughout this experience, today I will emphasize only one, in my opinion the most important one – the TRUTH behind the wise words “Speaking bad about a Master, criticizing, abusing and blaming Him will make you take thousands of lifetimes to even know about Him, let alone be close to one such. It will push you that many lifetimes backwards and seeing light will only rest in your dreams until you achieve that eligibility again. The path towards that eligibility may not be easy – you may have to walk on fire and thorns, spill blood and sweat, suffer and die many times, but once you achieve it, it will feel like it is nothing. It will feel very easily achievable and losing it will feel like drinking a cup of coffee.”

Sitting on my bed 3 days after one of the major tests of my life that I previously mentioned, I was spontaneously pushed into a trance state where I saw one of my past lives from thousands of years ago.

I was a young boy, rapidly and effortlessly progressing in my spiritual journey. I saw myself sitting in a lotus posture in front of a very old person (I assumed and felt that he was my guru from that time).

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Photo courtesy http://www.chakras.info

I merged with the young boy’s consciousness and could clearly hear his thoughts, “I didn’t have to work too much to achieve all this spiritual wealth that I have now. It is not true that it is hard to achieve all this! See how I achieved everything and I am still so young. Imagine how much I will achieve later!” I could hear his silent thought of wondering how it is all true. The old person who was sitting in front of him (me), my Guruji, replied to my thoughts out loud in a language that I could not understand. Being aware of a trance state and that I am still sitting on my bed of my current life, I could feel vibrations of Guruji’s words travelling through my mind and spontaneously being translated into English. He said, “What you have now is what you and your ancestors have earned in the past. Only because you easily have it today it doesn’t mean that it is easily achievable. Let no ego enter your system. Always remember the blood and sweat spilled for the spiritual awareness that you possess today. Beware.”
I said, “Oh, Guruji! You are so powerful, you could hear my thoughts! Sorry, Guruji, for thinking this way, I didn’t know. Please take my ego away. But Guruji, remembering blood and sweat, isn’t that negative?”
Guruji replied, “If spilled for God’s grace, glory and His children, remembering blood and sweat is greater than the greatest sadhana. It awakens all the core principles of our Tradition, all at once – gratitude, humility and inspiration to do more for God and all His numerous children.”

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Photo courtesy inextlive.jagran.com

I felt so nice sitting in Guruji’s presence. His words seemed real, but I didn’t understand His point and that is being aware that all what is flourishing today has a root of great effort in the past. If today we are smelling a flower, it means that yesterday we worked hard in the fields and waited patiently to bring that flower to life.

Guruji was very silent and very thin. He was looking peaceful. I saw many Saints and Masters protecting me and supporting me from different dimensions of the whole Universe, only because I am with Guruji. All Saints, Masters, Siddhas, Avadhootas and Gods were protecting me, EQUALLY as They were protecting my Guruji, despite of the fact that I cannot even be compared to Him, considering His spiritual stature. He was an Avadhoota, God and a Master of all Masters that I could not understand at that time. Still, I was given the equal power and protection by the graceful hands of Guru Mandala.

Frozen in this trance state, not being able to move, act or say anything, I was still sitting in the same position on the bed. Only my silent breath was audible. The vision of me and Guruji along with all celestial beings around us suddenly vanished, and I could feel Mohanji’s hand on my forehead, expanding my third eye more.

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I felt He is helping me to see and experience more from that life. I wondered which role that life plays in my current one. There must be a reason for Mohanji showing it to me. Thousands of years must have passed, why is it important to remember it now? I received no answer. Only silence and blank mind were predominant for a few seconds.

Suddenly I was pushed a couple of years ahead in that life. Now, I was completely alone. No Guruji, no celestial beings around me, no protection and no grace that I was previously able to see in a form of white light. All I could see is dark, dark and dark, in many forms and shapes, as numerous low-frequent beings who were happily sucking whatever energy I had left within me. I wondered, “Where did all that brightness disappear?” I was looking drained and my skin was dry. I looked weaker than before. My eyes were half-shut as I was sitting in a lotus position, trying to enter one of the states of samadhi that I used to enter so easily before, when Guruji was there to hold my hand. I was struggling, but nothing was happening. I realized that I no longer possess all the spiritual wealth that I thought I will never lose. What happened in between? What did I do? This vision vanished as well. I was pushed again years and years ahead of that life, to the moment where I left my body.

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My following lifetimes were flashing before my eyes – hard struggle from body to body, birth – struggle – suffering – death, repeating cycles, ups and downs, with one constant desire and craving – to see and feel light again, at least for one single second. Flashes stopped and I saw myself as a young lady in Japan, again sitting and meditating in a lotus posture. I was covered in dark violet cloth and was wearing orange pants. Barefoot, my feet were facing the sky. I felt myself focusing on my inner space, again with the same desire and craving, and suddenly I could feel a glimpse of bliss that sparkled within! This inner glow expanded my heart and I could suddenly feel so much love and peace lighting from the inside!

My guruji from the life when I was a young boy appeared in front of me in white light.

An angel in our midst. In Limpopo.

He lovingly said, “My child, I told you many times, if you do certain things, you will take numerous lifetimes to experience only a glimpse of me again. Now do you feel it? Do not repeat the same mistake again. Remember the struggle this has taken. Love all. Never judge, never criticize.”
Suddenly a huge realization arose within this devoted young lady, another seeker of truth – “This small glimpse of light that I BARELY experienced now is the light that I used to feel CONTINUOUSLY in that life when Guruji was with me!

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Photo courtesy http://www.thetreeofawakening.com

I am filled with gratitude to God for giving me this much, only a glimpse of bliss, but where was my gratitude when I had it all? I was one step away from the highest. Only because of inability to see the effort done in the past, I have easily fallen into the hands of the negative!”


Still sitting on the bed of my room, suddenly I was filled with fear of losing the proximity to Mohanji’s grace in this life. “How was I given this much? Now it feels so easy to lose it all.” The trance state started dissolving, and I could still feel myself trembling of that thought. Separation from the white – is it really something that occurs somewhere far away from me, or is it something I should pay more attention to? In a search of an answer, my experience led me to the second one. After a few moments, the fear dissolved as well, and all that remained was the humble gratitude.


The main moment from today was that of those numerous lives flashing before my eyes, because, I could not only see, but I could literally FEEL the pain, suffering and the struggle that I had to go through to earn what I have today. “Nothing falls from the sky, especially not the spiritual wealth.” is the lesson of my day today, as well as one of my whole life.

I will write a separate blog on what happened to myself as a young boy who fell down to level zero of his spiritual path.

TO BE CONTINUED

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May we always be blessed with gratitude!

||JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||

Disclaimer:
The views, opinions and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Facing the Dark Side, Part 2

A continuation of the journey from darkness to light, during a Mai-Tri Healing session. Read the first part: Facing the Dark Side, Part 1

Continue reading Facing the Dark Side, Part 2

Facing the Dark Side, Part 1

Did you ever wonder how dark forces work? How entities manipulate? Do you suddenly feel heaviness, alienation, anger or sadness? 

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Continue reading Facing the Dark Side, Part 1