The Mirror Called Kailash – Part 2

Written by: Devi Mohan

The next morning was like a horror movie. We woke up around 5am to the prison-like sounds of loud whistling and rough male voices shouting ‘Get up, get up!’. For a moment I thought I had regressed into some nightmarish WW2 holocaust scenario. It was cold and wet outside, mud, noise, crowd and chaos everywhere. With trembling hands and wobbly legs, gasping for breath, I somehow forced myself to go down the stairs and answer the call of nature (wherever I could find the right spot for it), and then brush my teeth using the last remnants of warm water that our sherpas (Nepalese caretakers who were assisting us most lovingly throughout the yatra) provided us with.

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It was then that I heard the beautiful sound of arati to Shiva – I looked up towards the balcony and saw Mohanji, Panditji and several yatris looking at Kailash and doing the arati with incense sticks. At that moment, I looked at the glorious Kailash before me, while my ego was drowning in the pool of helplessness, taking all the doership and trash with it. I started crying profusely, praying to Kailash/Shiva/Mohanji from the bottom of my heart to take me out of this misery, to allow me to break the walls of illusion, to melt in surrender. I cried and cried, allowing myself to go through the experience. I noticed that all the sherpas around me were pretty much staring at me, but couldn’t care less (now that I think about it, that must have been quite a pathetic site – a white girl with a toothbrush in her hand, smudged make-up and cap with ears and face of a goat, crying like a baby and staring at Kailash! :-)) There was no shame. How could one not stand naked before Shiva – there is no other way. We emerged from that consciousness naked and we can dissolve back into it only if naked, only after dropping all our masks. As Mohanji said, “Kailash is Shiva, the state that you are coming from, but forgot as you lived. Be Shiva and you will merge with Kailash spontaneously. Shiva and Kailash are ONE.” This was the moment when I truly felt the surrender… – the subtle inner wall was broken.

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Up to the Dolma La

By the time I composed myself, gulped some breakfast, chose the right clothes and packed my backpack, most of the other yatris had already started the trek. I hurried in order to catch up with them and tried walking, but after 10 meters or so understood it wouldn’t be happening. I sat on the pony and kept quiet – whether I did the yatra by foot or on the pony, it didn’t really matter. What was far more important was that even though weak physically, I now started to feel connected spiritually – mantras and prayers deep from the heart kept flowing. I spent the entire ride on the pony towards and up the steep Dolma Pass in a meditative state. At one point I totally lost the concept of time and can’t even recollect certain parts of the journey. I just remember that I felt immense love and gratitude towards the pony that carried my weight up the Dolma La and kept caressing him. At one point, the image of surreal emerald-like Gauri Kund, the lake that, as the legend says, Lord Shiva created for Goddess Parvati to bathe in, appeared in my inner vision. Immense desire to go to Gauri Kund suddenly filled my heart. I knew that, no matter what, I just had to go there! The pull was very strong.

Touched by Divine – the purity of Gauri Kund

Once we reached the top of the hill, I got off the pony and soon came across Mohanji. My joy knew no bounds upon seeing the familiar glossy eyes full of love, the eyes that my soul had connected with through lifetimes. Deep gratitude overwhelmed me. I knew he was watching on me, on all of us, and that the inner transformation was all due to his Grace. When I told him that I would like to go to Gauri Kund, his smile and gentle nod was all the confirmation I needed. I walked a bit further until my eyes could finally behold the majestic Gauri Kund, also known as the Lake of Compassion, in its full glory – it was even more beautiful than what I had seen on the photos!

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Pristine Mansarovar

I then noticed the big sharp stones and steep decline that led to the lake. Mohanji explained just how ‘strategically’ Gauri Kund was located – right after the extremely tough to climb Dolma Pass, when most could not even think of another climb. He also said that most of the time Gauri Kund is covered with clouds to hide it from the undeserving seekers and that the stones around the lake are often wet and slippery to further deter unwanted visitors. Indeed, had there been even a drizzle, wet and slippery stones would have been too big of an obstacle. But that day the sun was shining and I felt the path to Gauri Kund was open. In my heart, I felt I was invited… I decided to wait for Sumit for I knew that he said earlier he would like to go to Gauri Kund. I walked for only a couple of meters and already felt breathless. For a moment a hint of fear came that I wouldn’t be able to do it, but it wasn’t even nearly as strong as my desire to go. At that moment I made up my mind that I would go to Gauri Kund even if I died there – and I meant it!

Sumit and Hein arrived soon, bowed to Mohanji and off we went down the steep path across the many stones towards sublime Gauri Kund. Rajesh from UK joined us as well, along with one of the sherpas. Great excitement overwhelmed me and my legs surprised me with their sudden speed and strength – it was as if they walked on their own.

When we reached the lake, I was surprised to see Panditji already seated there silently and comfortably, with all the pooja paraphernalia, Mohanji’s eye card, trishul and Shiva linga, all lovingly laid out in front of the majestic Gauri Kund. That site brought great joy to my heart.

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The moment when I touched and tasted the water of Gauri Kund will remain forever etched in my mind and heart. It was like a long awaited flower that finally bloomed from my energy blueprint. I have never felt such a sensation – this water carried the secret codes far beyond this plane of existence. Its purity was indescribable, its sparkle divine, its taste sublime – the purest mountain spring would bow to it in awe. While washing my face with this water and placing some of it on my crown chakra and third eye, I felt nothing but pure bliss as I witnessed the thirst for intense purification, thirst that was beyond this lifetime, now being quenched…

Devi at Mansarover
Devi at Mansarover

I looked up and on the mountain that was facing Gauri Kund I suddenly saw many faces of sages, mainly with long beards and expressions of profound depth. More than seeing, it was the inner sensation of utmost sanctity and purity that overwhelmed me. This lake and this moment in time did not feel like anything on planet Earth…

More than the beauty of nature, it was the vibration of purity of Goddess Parvati that created a deep ‘click’ within me – this is the aspect of Divine that resonates most deeply with my being. She performed unimaginable penance in order to reach Lord Shiva – hunger, heat, cold, nothing could deter her. Out of her pure heart and deep compassion she pleaded him to share his wisdom with humanity. She was humanity’s bridge to Lord Shiva, whose energy and presence was too powerful to be accessed by humanity. As our sweet Rima Yadav said during one of our conversations, “Even in our family life, when children cannot approach a strict and authoritative father, they always go through the mother.”

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I recalled the scene from Guru Gita that I enjoyed listening on YouTube many times till now, the grand historical moment of eternal beauty embedded in the collective subconscious of humanity, the moment when Goddess Parvati bowed to mighty Shiva and addressed him with the following words:

 “Om. Salutations O God, Lord of the Lords, Higher than the Highest, Teacher of the Universe,

O Benevolent one, O Great God, initiate me into the knowledge of the Guru.

O Lord! By which path can an embodied being become one with Brahman, the Absolute Reality?

Have compassion on me, O Lord! I bow to your feet.”

And then Shiva answered, with words brimming with immense depth and Love:

O Goddess, you are My very Self.

I speak out of My love for you.

This question, which is a boon to uplift the world,

Has not been asked before by anyone.

This knowledge is difficult to obtain in all the three worlds.

Listen, I will reveal it to you.

The Absolute is not different from the Guru.

This is the Truth, this is the Truth, O Beautiful One.

The ancient scriptures, religious books, texts of ancient legends, historical accounts,

and other writings; […]

Without knowing the Guru principle, people who engage in these are fools.

The Guru is not different from the conscious Self.

This is true, this is true, there is no doubt.

Therefore, a wise one should indeed make an effort to attain the Guru. […]

He by whose light the true knowledge arises is known as ‘Guru’.

The Guru who reveals THAT […] who illuminates like the flame of the lamp,

The Guru whose feet are the visible form of the imperishable – one should meditate

on that all-pervasive, eternal Guru.”

(To listen to the ancient Guru Gita (with English subtitles), chanted with utmost devotion in the most beautiful voice of Kumuda,   please visit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqcF2dsY1mM  )

While all of this was happening in my inner space, Mohanji stood at the top overlooking all of us who had descended down to the Gauri Kund.

Image 7-The consciousness that leads us on the path – against all the odds…
The consciousness that leads us on the path – against all the odds

I felt his presence and my heart melted as my mind acknowledged the miracle of everything that is happening in my life, of all the unimaginable blessings… Indeed, the blessing of a physical presence of a Guru in the life of one who yearns for Liberation is truly the greatest blessing one can be granted in a lifetime.

In the midst of my bliss and a beautiful Lingam pooja conducted by Panditji, Sumit approached me with the most loving request – with endless devotion, he held the Prasad from Vaishno Devi temple in his hands and asked me to offer it to Goddess Parvati. He really touched my heart – what a beautiful gesture and what an honor to make that offering from one aspect of Mother Divine to another. All of us present prayed together. I prayed for the purity and selflessness of Mother Divine to become so deeply established in our hearts that nothing can ever taint it… The truth of the grand words “The Power of Purity” resonated in my being. We discussed later how it is indeed no coincidence that the first meditation that Mohanji received from the higher consciousness was not called The Power of Faith/Love/Surrender etc., but exactly the Power of Purity. When purity is enthroned in our heart, in our being, that is all that is required. We just need to maintain it and not allow any trash to enter inside. Divine will do the rest…

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Gauri Kund climb

The climb and the moment of transformation

When it was time to part from the Gauri Kund and the climb up the big stones started, I realized just how big of a challenge this was. Descending was fairly easy, but the climb was far from easy. After every couple of steps, I would have to stop and gasp for air in desperation. My breathing was long and loud, resembling that of a lung cancer patient on a deathbed. It was extremely tough to do this, but I did not mind – it was worth it. With the loving help of Hein and the sherpa, I just went through the experience – totally empty, so filled with gratitude. This was, in a way, my penance in honour of the Mother and I was happy to do it. At one moment, I could feel a sort of a drizzle. It was not rain, but hail – very small pieces of ice suddenly started falling from the sky. I remembered Mohanji who always says how auspicious it is to experience rain after doing any pooja or offering to Divine. This beautiful hail meant that Goddess Parvati accepted our offering! My heart expanded instantly. After the next pause to catch the breath, I started climbing and suddenly realized that something had changed – as if touched by a magic wand, the hypoxia was removed from my system! I couldn’t believe it – I could climb without any problem! What a miracle, what a blessing!

Sheer excitement overwhelmed me – I climbed the rest of the way with a big big smile, and then blissfully continued the rest of the yatra by foot. (It was interesting to note from Monja’s experience sharing that the same hail had the opposite effect on her and was the moment when she felt that the challenge of climbing the Dolma Pass was too much to bear – indeed, all of us had walked the same path but had totally unique experiences, as per the divine drama created by Shiva for the purpose of our cleansing and elevation).

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At that moment I suddenly remembered a scene from our visit to Buddhanilkantha Temple in Nepal, with the most fascinating 5m long statue of Lord Vishnu: as we admired its beauty and observed how the expressions on the face of lying Vishnu would change depending from the angle from which one would approach/observe it, there was one more observation that really left us in awe. The statue was being reflected in the water almost 180 degrees below itself!

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We tried applying our reasoning while observing this sheer miracle, but logical mind had no explanation how the face of Lord Vishnu could be reflected in the water below itself. It was only after Gauri Kund that I understood the subtle ‘Divine mirror’ message of this experience, a beautiful intro to the ‘mirror called Kailash’ experience that would follow. A physical mirror can only reflect back to us our perishable physical image – no mirror can be compared to the mirror of Divine…

After Gauri Kund, I continued the yatra with great joy and lightness.

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I totally confused the man who owned the pony assigned to me. He approached me several times to ask whether I needed a pony, and I would always bow with a big smile and say ‘No thank you’. Even if he spoke English, how could I possibly tell him: “I have been kissed by Divine. No further assistance needed.” Can one ever find the right words for such experiences? Can anything come close to the experience of direct Divine intervention in one’s life? These magical moments of immense blessing go straight into the soul’s eternal treasure vault. They are reminders of the most revered inner Truth: “I am always loved for Love is what I truly Am.”

With eternal Love and Gratitude,

Devi

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The Mohanji Factor – Part 1

Being married to a Master is certainly no ordinary life. The Mohanji Factor is hard to define. Can we really understand the Divine through the narrow lens of our limited faculties? In this (two part) blog, Biba Mohan opens a window into her home and heart, sharing precious glimpses and perspectives of life with Mohanji.

Image 1-18 April 2010 – a date that marked a union beyond time
April 18th 2010 – the date that marked a union beyond time

The intention behind this text is to share with you how the great challenge – and even greater blessing – of being married to Mohanji truly feels. I do hope this will dissolve the doubts and concerns of some.

When I decided to marry Mohanji, I knew very well that I was marrying uncertainty. There would be no structured living. The regular, clock-work married life was never my cup of tea anyway. I liked challenges and this is surely something we have plenty.

Five hours after Mohanji and I got married at the Registrar’s office, followed by the usual meal and family gathering, we were in a different city conducting meditation. Some of the relatives were disgruntled and I could not find words to effectively explain why we had to leave early… That moment marked a marriage most unusual in its nature. I knew I was marrying changes, fluidity, out-of-the-comfort-zone challenges and liberation. This was fully in line with my rebellious nature – I always liked doing things in accordance with what felt right to me, what had my inner confirmation. When a journalist from Dubai way back in 2008 interviewed me about my Yoga teaching and movie acting experience, I was surprised to see how she chose to name it – “Rebel with a cause”. I thought about it more deeply and it struck me how true this is.

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Not that my rebellion was making me focus on what I am against, but I always stood for my own truth and believed that only when we have the courage to live our truth can our life become truly fulfilling.

Religious dogma and certain societal rules that made absolutely no sense to me did not stand much chance in my world. For example, when Mohanji and I got married, I felt free to choose my own wedding gown instead of the usual white – I thought “after all, it is my wedding and I should be wearing something I truly enjoy.” The same applied to the choice of the wedding ring. I never enjoyed wearing a ring on the ring finger, only on the middle finger. I came across a ring that truly symbolized our union – two hearts connected in eternal flow of energy, celebrating Love with no hooks, Love beyond all barriers, Love pure and eternal…

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The wedding ring of Truth

I cannot think of Mohanji as a man or a husband. I perceive him to be a being of sheer purpose; a free being who also happens to be my husband, but first and foremost an entity that is here and everywhere, with many people in multiple aspects of being-ness, moving effortlessly between tasks and places.

Very often people cannot see beyond the obvious. They are unaware that they are judging a situation using their mind’s limited faculties. When Mohanji sometimes scolds me in front of others, certain questions soon come my way: “Why is he so abrupt and rude with you?” or “Does Mohanji ever spend time with you? Does he talk to you with love, kindness and consideration? Does he spend time with Mila?” I, therefore, decided to write a blog on this, to set the record straight.

My answer to that would be the following – Mohanji is objective and totally impartial. He grants me no special favours, nothing more than anyone else receives. I never expect any either because I know his heart and I know his dedication to the higher purpose that he lives for. He is, as he says, “purpose-bound”.

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Mohanji’s ‘purpose-bound’ expression

I see that purposefulness happening all the time. Indeed he is like a mirror, filling into the vessel that you bring to him. If you bring anger and a hatred-filled mind, he responds in the same way with laser sharp definiteness in order to blast it off you that very instant. The same principle applies to me in those moments when he scolds me.  If you bring love, however, he is love and he melts… The mirror called Mohanji sincerely and objectively reflects your own constitution.

Whenever he has uttered sharp words to anyone, I have clearly seen things change in them almost immediately. His presence always transforms and heals. Many people, however, come with expectations. Those people will also leave with complaints. Expectations never work with Mohanji. He never caters to such desires. He always says “I never intercept or interfere with anyone’s karma. All I do is remove blockages so that they could move on effectively in evolution”. Those who complain have clearly not understood him. When I once told him that his straightforward approach may be taken as rude behaviour, he said: “What have I got to do with people? I never do anything for myself. I do it for their own good. I do it out of love and compassion and the need to shake them up, to wake them up from their deep slumber of routine habitual ignorant patterns. I am doing it out of love, not hatred. When someone scolds another out of anger and hatred, it is not good for either party. What I do is not out of anger or hatred for the person. It is out of love. That makes my responses pure and clear. If someone does not understand that and thus decides to leave me, how can I help it?” Indeed, the crucial difference is in the intention – are the reactions based on love or hatred? This should be clearly understood.

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The blessing of scolding

Whenever he scolded me, I never felt the usual sensation of the heart chakra shrinking, the painful emotional scarring which is often remembered long after. On the contrary, I always felt something was being removed from me. Some blockage would be cleared, followed by an inner shift, bringing a sense of relief, clarity and blissful lightness. What’s even more interesting is that I do not even remember any of his past scoldings. I honestly cannot remember a single one. And even he will not remember what he told me or anyone else after the incident unless someone reminds him. He always operates in the present, sliding to the next and next event effortlessly. Nothing stays in his canvass as he glides through life. Nothing can hold him beyond the specific time. This, I must say, is the unique quality of a Master – if a Master cannot scold his disciple and prick the balloon of his/her ego, then he is no Master.

Sugar-coated words due to second agendas are the quality of politicians, not spiritual Masters. Every true disciple should recognize the value of scolding and accept it with gratitude, for nobody can fight the in-built ego mechanism, but a Master can. In my case, the situation is unique and slightly more challenging because my Master is also my husband and when disagreements happen all wives like to be right at least sometimes. 🙂 However, I don’t have that right – and can’t complain either cause that was my own conscious choice!

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Love is…

I have witnessed something beautiful about Mohanji in many life situations till date – he carries no anger, hatred or enmity towards anyone. He just responds to situations objectively and moves on. One day he said “Look at the birds and animals. They accept life situations as they come. A poor cat was hurt in a traffic accident. Its legs were broken. It dragged itself to one side of the pavement and licked its wound. It stopped crying almost immediately and started handling its new situation. Look at its objectivity! Why are we so resistant? If it was a human being, he/she would instantly find someone to blame and make the given situation worse. Lack of acceptance of what is given is one of the primary causes of human sorrow. Nobody ever gets anything that he/she does not deserve. So, acceptance of reality is important in order not to be stuck with a place, person or a situation.”

Indeed, it is our resistance that leads us to the blame game, to sorrow and self-pity. But this does not apply to Mohanji. This was especially noticeable during the times when he worked in the corporate world (until mid-2012). Wherever he worked, he never waited for others to complete his work. He used to work hard, day and night, and never switched his mobile phone off (I must admit, I was not too pleased with that…). Always available and ready for work! Despite his hard work and despite bringing a lot of new business to his company, his management often treated him in an unjust manner. He would just brush it aside and say “I operate in my capacity and they do so in theirs. Life moves on.” Mohanji brushed off the injustice and left them to handle their own karma. The same applied to those who cheated him or let him down in life. He just detached from the person, place or event and moved on. Total acceptance and objectivity were obvious in all his work. He always used to say “If you are good at what you do, you will be in demand. The sun cannot be hidden even by the thickest of clouds for long.”

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The sun that shines even in darkness

Mohanji is a thorough introvert. I know this better than anyone else. He likes to be left alone. I always remember a story from his childhood – when a primary school teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he said “I want to be alone.” This made the teacher brand him as a retarded child! I am sure her opinion would have changed if she could see the Mohanji of today.  As the number of people coming to him has increased manifold over the last few years, his private time has become increasingly precious and limited. He never complains. He only requests discipline and understanding from people. At the same time, Mila and I are not just brushed aside. He never misses even the minutest detail and always ensures that we are taken care of and protected. He attends to us, wherever he is, in one way or the other, often through someone. All I know is that in the end our problem gets solved. Bear in mind, he does the same with almost everyone who is connected to him. Can you imagine the size of his workload in this world?

The numerous testimonials coming out each day through emails and blogs are a true reflection of what Mohanji is to the world. He is the same to me. He means the world to me. To many people across the world, he means the world to them too. He has touched many lives over the years. Many people have come and at the same time, many have left disillusioned too. As mentioned above, it is usually those who come with many expectations that leave disillusioned. Mohanji used to tell me: “This person will not stay. He has come with expectations. I cannot fulfil his desires. This is against his karma. I will not do anything against his karma.” Mohanji always stays with the truth and ethics of spirituality. I have seen him doing things which even made him sick and bed-ridden – people would come to him with serious problems and out of sheer compassion, he would remove their affliction and bring it onto himself, leaving them liberated. This used to worry me. Then I would remind myself “He knows what he is doing. He has clarity of purpose and a will of steel. I should not interfere.” Still love would overwhelm my heart.

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Still love would overwhelm my heart…

As I sit down to write my thoughts, a thousand faces travel through my mind. The faces of those whom Mohanji has touched over the last 7 years since I have known him. He has empowered thousands. He has touched so many lives across the globe positively, blessing them with exactly that what they were lacking in order for them to evolve further. Moreover, spirituality aside, he has enriched many people’s lives through consultancy work without any expectations. One can actually touch and feel the “Mohanji Factor” in people’s lives even though some may not want to accept it due to their ego. But, as I write this, I know that his existence on earth has empowered and continues to empower thousands. What is a life worth, if it is not lived for others? Many people have written blogs and sent in testimonials about the “Mohanji Factor” in their lives. Many have chosen to ignore it, calling it a coincidence. I sincerely feel pity if grace cannot be received and cherished gracefully. Mohanji has always kept on delivering in whatever form he chooses. He has never expected anything from or cared about those who love him or criticize him. He just made himself available and kept on delivering. The Mohanji Factor continues to touch many lives every moment. Needless to say, it makes me proud to be a part of this mission, to be a part of this grand movement of unconditional love.

Image 9-The Mohanji Factor continues to touch many lives every moment..
The Mohanji Factor continues to touch many lives every moment…

Mohanji has always believed in delivering fully and completely at all times, without any scheming or second agenda. But if there is one thing that Mohanji detests in people, it is artificiality, along with pretention and masks. Without naming anyone in particular, he would often say “These people need nothing from me. They will get nothing. They do not care for liberation. They are wasting my time – I can give them nothing. They came to share with me their pretension and insecurities. Some of them have come to compare me with another. I have nothing to do with it. They wasted my time and theirs.” On another occasion, I heard him tell someone on the phone “Oh, she has nothing to do with God realization. She is just after some spiritual sensations. I am the wrong person for that. My path is that of an annihilation of everything and merger with the supreme. All she needs for spiritual elevation if that is her true choice is a conscious shedding of her pretensions. She can reach the highest only by shedding her masks.”

Some of my friends tell me “You are like a single Mom. Your husband is never around.” That may be true physically, but Mohanji makes his presence felt to us in numerous ways all of the time. My husband called Mohanji is handling a large mission, connecting continents and a multitude of beings. He works more than 18 hours a day. He sleeps very little. Even if he sleeps, the same is used for a purpose which is not personal. In the moments when I would witness his barely noticeable breathing and enhanced radiance (signifying astral travel and work on other planes) I would be reminded that this is what I asked for and got blessed with – so how could I ever complain? I could not possibly imagine all the challenges that would come our way but was mentally prepared to accept all that would come with this decision. We even lived together for three years before we actually got married. I knew that he would belong to the world and I was happy that I would get to serve the world through him and together with him, which is what I always wanted to do in life. When I asked Baba in 2006 for a Master as a husband, what I actually meant was ‘May I marry only if that will further enhance my service to humanity and elevate me further. Nothing compares to a union through which one can celebrate and serve Love.”

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(to be continued…)