On a rocky road to Nepal

by Ulla Bernholdt, Denmark

It seems like a wonder that I embarked on a trip to India to meet Mohanji in Shirdi at the end of December 2021. What a huge blessing of a lifetime it was to celebrate Datta Jayanti with him at the feet of Sai Baba and the Dattatreya tradition! Not only that, but I was also graced soon to go to Nepal to introduce Mohanji and his teachings.

Let me first tell you about the rather miraculous background for the travel.

In June 2021, I received an e-mail from a person named Rabi who inquired if any Mohanji activities were going on in Denmark. He told me that he had experienced a vision while meditating in which two unknown persons appeared. The first man was an elderly, poor-looking man who pointed his finger at a younger man with long hair and a beard. The younger man spoke, but the words were not audible.

When I read this, pictures of Sai Baba and Mohanji immediately came to my mind.

Rabi continued that when he opened Instagram the following day, the first photo he saw was that of Shirdi Sai Baba. He now recognised the man from his vision and came to know his name. Curious, he searched YouTube for material upon Baba and found Mohanji’s videos about him. He recognised Mohanji as the other person, and now he had found both.

We arranged to meet the next day, and I was excited, especially because when I’d read his LinkedIn profile, I’d realised that his real name was Gurudatta! Rabi was just a name he had chosen for the sake of convenience. This must be some guidance from the Tradition, I thought. What will happen next?

Gurudatta told me he was from Nepal, and he wanted to visit his home country the following autumn to do seva. I asked if I could join him. We teamed up and started doing ACT4Hunger annadan from Denmark remotely through our volunteers in Nepal.

Our plan to go to Nepal was postponed a couple of times, but when we suddenly got the news that Mohanji’s Dattatreya Jayanti retreat in Shirdi was happening within three weeks, we purchased tickets.

At the retreat, I met up with Gurudatta and his mother. Before leaving Shirdi, we took Mohanji’s blessings plus his instructions and advice regarding visiting Nepal, doing annadan and T-shirt donations for protection and visibility in the country.

We had flight tickets from Delhi to Kathmandu, but unexpectedly, we were both denied access to the aeroplane due to positive Corona tests! Usually, at home, I would go for a second test to confirm, but now we had to make our minds up quickly because my Indian visa was about to expire.

We agreed to go by bus to Nepal in the afternoon and quarantine if needed in Nepal. It was a ride of nearly 900 km to the Nepali border in Sonauli.

Arriving at the border, we found out that I needed to travel another 100 km to do my new PCR-test in Gorakhpur, the place of the grand Gorakhnath mandir.

After taking the blessings of Gorakhnath, who is the incarnation of Shiva himself and is the patron deity of Nepal and the one who decides who can enter the country, I received a negative covid test, and I was ready to cross the border.

Back at the Indian immigration office, they told me to come again the next morning. The same officers said they could not allow me to exit early the next day because my Indian visa had expired the previous day. And here, the calamities started.

Gurudatta was able to leave. Being a Nepali citizen, he stayed with his relatives just across the border. We stayed in touch online.

I had to stay back and go to many different offices far from the town, but with no outcome. We made a lot of phone calls to the different authorities in India, Nepal, and even Denmark, but nobody could help me get an exit permit. In the process, I had to go through an online application, and there was no time limit set to it.

I now stayed at one of the only available hotels at the border, waiting to leave India. What are the normal living conditions for many people in Asia became a severe challenge for a western conditioned mind.

It was a cold hotel with muggy walls and no hot water if there was water at all. There was no electricity during the daytime—no places to eat except a sweetshop that served snacks only. Very poor internet connectivity made telephone calls a challenge. On top of it all, I also found that people would ignore me when I asked them about something or that people would make fun of me when I walked the street, being the only foreigner in town. Communication was not easy either, as practically no one spoke English in that area.

I must admit I had previously carried a romantic fantasy that if I had to isolate, I would only be happy to deepen my practice, meditate and chant. But this situation was so unexpected that I could not find peace of mind to practice seriously.

I remember Mohanji saying that he creates situations and circumstances for people to test them. Or rather, the Tradition tests you.

And I was tested!

My SIM card expired, and the internet was not working.

It seemed like there would be a new issue on top of the other each day. I thought to myself, is this a bad joke? But it was real, and I started to feel the heat and pressure within as the situation escalated.

One week passed, but I still did not receive permission to leave. I observed my mind becoming more unstable as my expectations of going to Nepal were not met.

We had announced our arrival in Nepal beforehand, and people were waiting to meet us and participate in Mohanji events. I could even peek over the border, but I could not go.

My mind questioned if I would be able to go at all? Maybe I was not eligible to go? I felt desperation creeping in.

I would pray to Mohanji and Gorakhnath to hold my hand throughout this experience. Not at one point in time did Mohanji leave me. I asked Mohanji to please help me to be able to go and serve in Nepal.

This seemed like a big-time test. Did I have enough determination and clarity of purpose needed to go to Nepal?
Would I give up? Would I quit? Would I turn back?
NO!

I felt I had no choice but to stay put despite all the obstacles. Going to Nepal was what I really wanted. Keeping in mind that all situations and experiences, good or bad, will pass, and having come this far, I waited rather impatiently for the obstacles to dissolve by the grace of Mohanji and time.

Now that I was in exile, deprived of comfort, I had to face all my addictions, dependencies, and patterns of insecurity. There was nothing to do but feel it.

I cherish this experience today because there is so much relevance and authenticity in observing your mind when under pressure. A mind full of constant craving, never satisfied and filled with endless desires.

Sitting in my room, the mind itself felt like a prison, and I felt I was here on a life sentence. This is a simple truth that we would normally avoid facing.

It was not that I missed the comforts a lot. What I longed for was a peaceful mind. I longed to be in Mohanji’s state of freedom, need nothing, go beyond the mind, and not be dependent on the outside world.

While connecting consciously to Mohanji, there were moments of causeless happiness in the middle of this agony. Mohanji is like the calm centre in the eye of a hurricane. He carried me all the way through like a silent companion.

As the days passed, my state of mind slowly started changing, and a transformation happened.

From feeling totally helpless, I wondered what else I could do when I could not change my situation. I longed to do something purposeful, so I started feeding the many stray dogs living outside of the hotel. I felt how it cleansed me and brought me new positivity and stability. Next, I tried to plan for a bigger annadan for people in the town. I had noticed that many of them looked very poor, pushing heavily loaded bicycle rickshaws all day.

I looked for people who could help me cook food, but suddenly, my application for the exit permit went through, and that was the end of 14 days of staying in an unknown place.

As if a dark spell had lifted, the people at the immigration office suddenly started to act friendly and humane. It was like being in a play that had all the ingredients of a drama, even a happy ending. One police officer listened to my story and kindly offered to take me in a rickshaw to the next town to sort out the complicated online payment for the exit permit, which I could not do with a foreign card, and help me prepare to leave the next morning. He said he saw his daughter in me and that it was his moral responsibility to help me. I had no other option than to trust him and Mohanji that his intention was pure. The policeman was indeed very helpful, and trusting him helped me get out of my situation.

Overall, it has been a fantastic experience. We often forget to be grateful for what we have and remember that things we take for granted can leave us in a split second.

Only the hand of Mohanji helped me get through these challenges. He inspired me and encouraged me to keep walking, not to give up, and keep the focus on my purpose. Through his own example, he reminded me that we can always do something for others even when we cannot do much for ourselves.

I thank him for the experience that made me once again realise the raw power we have inside to rise above the situation and our need for grace from the Master and God, without whom we are absolutely nothing.

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 24th March 2022

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

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Mohanji Testimonials team

HOW TO SURVIVE MANIPULATIONS OF DARK FORCES AND STAY WITH YOUR GURU?

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By Milan Bojic, Editor-in-chief of awakeningtimes.com and novasvest.com

Some nine years ago I started my intensive spiritual journey. As with most people, the initial trigger to start working on myself was the unbearable inner pressure, unstable emotional and physical states, decadent lifestyle, addictions, meaninglessness, fears, financial troubles, etc. It is from the mud and suffering that we reach for salvation; seems like this rule can be applied to most people.

I’m by nature passionate and a bit fanatical – when I discover something that’s meaningful to me, I’m able not to eat nor sleep until I penetrate into the very core of it. Such was also my approach in working on myself. I learned techniques from the field of applied psychology, energy work, various meditations, healing methods, regressions, etc; and I would pursue everything relentlessly. I used to practice what I learned on a daily basis, consistent and committed and when I would get the most out of a particular technique, I’d be automatically taken to a new Master and new knowledge.

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Spiritual school is very simple. When you finish one grade, a new Master and a new material comes your way; there’s no need for you to ponder over and search for it.

It took me about five years of intensive work to become eligible to attain the presence of an enlightened Master. During those five years, I went through spiritual experiences that completely shattered my concept of reality. I had communications with the souls of the deceased, as well as with the entities of light and darkness, I became aware of the darkness and light and their eternal struggle, I discovered the ability to communicate with invisible beings and beings from other planets, I even started channeling certain information from the Andromeda galaxy, I had several out-of-body experiences (after one such experience I suddenly cut meat out of my diet), I started practicing healing and traveling to holy places, in short- I was a fierce spiritual seeker, and I thought I knew it all.

When I finally reached Mohanji’s holy feet, the illusion of my spiritual status and knowledge was mercilessly destroyed by one and only feeling –the one of unconditional love. Never before had I felt such huge radiation of unconditional love coming from one being, and I was completely disarmed. Everything else is insignificant before the rays of Divine Love.

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It was recognition at a single glance, and my soul was celebrating that all that hard work was finally rewarded with an opportunity to finally start truly working on myself.

I thought that things would be much easier now, and that the worst is behind me. I believed that my Master could be surrounded only by wonderful and advanced souls. I have to admit that I was spellbound and naïve. Little did I know that the real struggle is yet to begin and that all I’d experienced so far was only a kindergarten compared to what was lying ahead of me. In the universe of duality, the law of action and reaction are always at play. However strong our effort and desire for liberation are, there is just as powerful opposite strive in the forces whose goal is to keep us enslaved. If you think the presence of an enlightened Master will save you from it, you’re sadly mistaken. The only salvation can come from God’s grace, but it has to be earned through many tests and break downs, though even reaching the enlightened master itself is a huge expression of God’s mercy.

It has been almost five years now since I first met Mohanji. During this period, I have experienced tremendous transformation. In brief, there’s no longer an identification with the person called Milan.

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However, the reason behind this text is not the description of personal experiences with Mohanji, but something completely different.

As a witness, I was destined to go through several big break downs within the circle of beloved Mohanji’s followers and disciples, and to carry the weight of several projects that were bound to fall on my shoulders. I was a witness to betrayals, rumors, negative campaigns, spreading of lies, and frauds of all kinds in which, more often than not, participated some of Mohanji’s biggest followers and closest disciples. It’s somewhat logical – for it is only our nearest and dearest that can truly hurt us.

“Shaking the tree” is a phenomenon that Mohanji talked about a lot, and it refers to the falling out of disciples and followers who are then leaving their Master. Sometimes it is the Guru himself who “shakes the tree”, and most often this phenomenon takes place as a product of negative forces that are always present in spiritual life. As someone who has “survived” several of these “shakings”, and also propelled by the latest spread of misinformation within the certain circles of Mohanji’s students, I would like to draw your attention with this text to the lurking dangers for every true spiritual seeker, as to the subtle mechanisms that negative forces use in order to seduce the seekers and separate them from the enlightened Masters.

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While seeking for Master, keep both eyes open; once you find him- close one!

I was fortunate to hear this phrase at the very beginning of my spiritual journey. It later saved me from many troubles, because I learned not to judge my Master’s character. This is the biggest trap for all disciples and followers – an ideal image of a perfect Master that’s so dear and tender, so kind and loving. So how can it be that this same Master sits on the toilet seat and has a good dump? Oh, but it can’t be that Shiva is into perfumes and technological gadgets! What kind of a Master is that?

Could it be that the righteous Master shouts at someone who’s innocent, while he spares some sleazebag with his sweet voice? What kind of justice is that? And is it even possible that an enlightened Master says something which later turns out to be incorrect, and that we had to do things differently? And watch out for this – does he sometimes have a beer or a whiskey?

Oh… If you only knew! Character and personality, as well as the physical body of a Master, are only a tool in the eyes of the enlightened consciousness. They serve as a vehicle that fulfills its purpose, with all its virtues and flaws. The fact that someone is enlightened does not necessarily mean that he or she will always be nice and kind. A lot of enlightened people even choose to carry out their mission in a totally weird manner, such as by hitting their disciples with a stick, by yelling at them, etc. Can’t you see the meaning behind it all? They only want to break the chains that bind you!

If you engage yourself too much in thoughts about the personal characteristics of the Master, his physical health, perfumes he’s using, phone he’s carrying, etc., you are risking to be easily affected by some unexpected changes in his lifestyle.

I had the opportunity to meet several enlightened Masters, and each one of them had a completely different character. They are mostly nonsensical people that act on a whim, though there are “normal” characters as well. Jan Esmann, the Master that belongs to Shaktipat tradition, was making a fool out of me for the whole two months, only to ensure that I’m serious enough in my intentions to organize his visit to Serbia. Later he admitted it to me and apologized, adding that some people from America have tried many times to bring him to the USA, but that they would always fail the test when he acts out the “unpleasant cynic”.

Shaktipat from Jan Esmann and Mohanji (1)

Concepts of money and sex

Does an enlightened Master need sex? If that is the genuine spirituality, how could he be charging for his programs? True spirituality is for free!

Hahahaha! Can’t you see, you naïve man, that with each breath you take in this life you are actually paying off your debt? Can’t you see that every thought and feeling of yours has its price and that karma is the only currency that rules mankind? Money is just another form, in the infinite ocean of forms, which flows past us. Why are you obsessed with it? Who conditioned you to look at everything through money? Money is energy. Money is not dirty.

Do you know where the money the Master gets goes to? Do you know how many hungry people received food, how many needy people got clothes, and how many true, but poor seekers got free participation in programs and pilgrimages from the money that you gave for the retreat? No, you don’t know, because you can’t see the forest for the trees.

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You heard that Mohanji had sex? It can’t be, what kind of a Master is he! Masters should be in celibacy, because they overcame the sexual urge. Hahahah! It’s the same old story – sex scandals. If you want to discredit someone, just start talking about sex. The eyes of the moral purists will shine with happiness! Sex is sex, there’s nothing more to say about it. Sex has its purpose, duration, time, space, etc. Sex is an innate primary instinct of every living being, the fundamental impulse of creation. God is having a constant sexual intercourse with himself. Oh, excuse me! I must be saying a blasphemy! But, can’t you see, even blasphemy is within God. Is there anything in this world that’s not within God? Even the devil himself is in God! Just don’t tell him that, cause he’ll get seriously pissed off.

So, to summarize, as far as I’m concerned my Master could even become a porn star, and it wouldn’t change absolutely anything if his consciousness were enlightened. Who knows, maybe there’s an enlightened soul even among the porn stars. Have you not read the Vedic stories on similar topics? Was it not the prostitute who shifted Vivekananda’s consciousness and brought him to the desired transformation? And what about Krishna? That great lover had over 16,000 wives according to some scriptures. But Krishna is somewhere in the past, so he’s easy to love and we won’t blame him for having an entire harem; however, this Master here is immoral. Now, you listen, false moralists – Sex is beautiful! Relax…

Gossips and rumors

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If you want to be the pig that’s wallowing in its own mire, just go ahead and engage in gossiping and spreading rumors. Yes, it’s so irresistible and appealing. Haven’t you heard what Mohanji’s father-in-law once said while Mohanji was going down the stairs? No way, you haven’t? Here, I’ll tell you…. No, I won’t! Though I do know what his father-in-law said. And I know more such juicy stories from Mohanji’s life that would make your ears burn if you heard them. Yes, a lot of those stories Master told me himself, and I heard many others along the way. And do you know what my reaction was? I would forget them five minutes later, as they were miserable compared to the merging into the ocean of Shiva/Shakti.

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I know a lot of Mohanji’s close disciples who use the gatherings only to spread rumors about his wife, family, this and that. Naturally, many would like to know about his sexual life, if he’s going to have more kids, and so on. That is human nature. Out of desire to be near and dear to him, many people imagine that discovering unknown details from his life will make them closer to him. Don’t make me laugh again! Our Master said even to his own wife that she should marry his consciousness, and not the guru! All the more, he left his own wedding and went to another city to hold a satsang, much to the entire family’s amazement! Can’t you see how insignificant those petty stories are in comparison to the enlightened soul’s mission? But that’s ok, the choice is yours. You can get closer to P.K. Mohan, or to his consciousness. You get what you choose.

Spiritual envy and jealousy

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“There’s no bigger envy than spiritual envy.” I was told this sentence at the very beginning of my spiritual journey by my Master at that time. Pretty soon I discovered what it is about.

Master is so intoxicating and hypnotic, that all the people want him for themselves. At first, the urge is so strong that we push our way through the organization, we want to stand out in everything, we are fighting over who’ll get the shaktipat, and who’ll get the energy transfer, who went to India, and who to Kailash. We get suspicious as soon as the Master takes a longer look at someone or favors somebody. The struggle for parents’ love is merciless; isn’t it so, my brothers and sisters?

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Everyone would like for themselves a piece of Mohanji, his hug, his kind word! I know, I was like that myself. And then I got sick of it all. I could no longer stand the turmoil that arises when dozens of spiritual ego-constructions are fighting over a bit of love. I decided to quit such behavior and to just meditate in Master’s consciousness. I wanted to be with him always, in his consciousness, unbound and free from his physical personality. And what do you know! The one who needs nothing, receives everything. An intimate relationship started developing between us, the form of trust that can’t be described. My house became his house, my family was his family, my child was his child. Always at the right moment, his call or message would arrive, or he would pay me a personal visit. And do you know why? Let me tell you a secret – Mohanji’s body is only a slave of Mohanji’s consciousness! Embrace the consciousness of Mohanji, and then his physical arms will come of themselves to caress you.

Visions and Mind Projections

We come to one of the most manipulative delicacies used by the dark forces. Believe me, I paid for schools and schools until I didn’t learn this lesson. For years I was obsessed with astral experiences, channeling, communicating with various beings, with my higher self, archangels etc. I went through unbelievable experiences and met many psychics. But, how do you know which vision is real, and which is just a mind projection?

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When I asked Mohanji about it, his answer was crystal clear: “When a higher being really comes to us, after that encounter we are not the same. Otherwise, it was just a projection.”

Oh, what an unpleasant information for my ego then. When I thought about it and applied this rule to my visions and experiences, I realized that only about 30% of my experiences were really authentic, because after those I experienced huge changes, while 70% belonged to projections of my ego personality.

Later on, as the seekers subtlety raises, visions can be very powerful and remarkable, but at the same time they can represent manipulation of the dark forces. A person who relies only on their vision can be manipulated very easily. I had decided to discard all visions and dive into their source – pure light. Only then did I feel crystal clarity of existence. When man is in unity with all existence, when his identifications disappear and he dives into the ocean, then existence communicates with your soul in different ways, not only through visions.

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Maybe the best example is the story about great Ramakrishna who had visions of goddess Kali during which he would fall into hours of ecstasy. Cutting the story short, Ramakrishna couldn’t achieve enlightenment until he didn’t slay goddess Kali with a sword in front of his mental screen.

The savior syndrome and proving love to the Master through belittling other Masters

It also happens that a person achieves certain spiritual heights. Maybe thanks to your disciplined practice you have awakened healing abilities and now you are a great and famous healer. Maybe you have acquired the power to see previous lives of other people and now you take them into regression. Maybe you received the gift of Shaktipat from your Master, maybe you’re in charge of meditations, you deliver energy transfers, you lead whole teams in the organization etc. You think you’re important and many things depend on you? Hahahahahaha!

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You have forgotten the basic spiritual lessons – humility and surrender. Everything is given to you because you have deserved it with your karma, and everything can be taken away from you if you gamble your chance. Don’t think you’re untouchable to the dark forces, on the contrary – you have become a high-demand commodity in their eyes. The higher you are in the organization, the more interesting you are to them, the closer you are to the Master, the more the dark forces will try to separate you from him. That makes sense too, right? No matter all the protection you enjoy as a sincere devotee and no matter your untouchability by the dark forces because all of Guru Mandala is taking care – don’t think you can relax.

Even a mindless step or conceit, even the tiniest weakness and impurity can become the reason for your fall. And the Master will let you fall if you choose to, he cannot take a decision instead of you.

Yet, there’s no reason to fear, all that’s asked from you is true surrender and commitment.

Always have in mind that darkness gets you where you’re weakest – they will set you up with thoughts that mud the Masters image and subtly separate you from him, they will feed your spiritual ego and make you think what a great healer or savior you are, who even needs to save his own Master. What a majestic illusion – a trapped soul saving an already liberated soul!

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They will set you up with a vision where Babaji himself appears and says that Mohanji is seduced and in danger, and those who do not see are blind and stupid. Of course, only you know that and only you can save him! And yes, believe me, I heard this story about Babaji’s message a few day ago, and that’s the reason why I’m writing this text.
On the day of Orthodox Christmas, January 7th, during one written communication I received terrifying information regarding Mohanji, the organization, disciples etc. I was shocked with the level of craziness in all this, especially since this information was coming from a very important person.

Since I always want to come to the source and essence of everything, I wrote to my Master immediately. He laughed and dismissed all possible points and said that we need to put a foot down to this negativity.

“Until now, the positive had been passively encountering the negative. That must change”, these were Mohanji’s words. Soon after that a public message floated through all social media about the Master’s condition, stopping rumors about his heart-attack etc.

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I personally wrote directly to the person standing behind all this nonsense and poured everything into her face. Of course, the reaction was blazing and raging, I was insulted in the most horrible way. But you know what? I didn’t feel a bit of it. At the exact same moment I received the e-mail with insults, I received a e-mail from Mohanji too. In my inbox, one next to the other were two e-mails: one filled with insults, and the other filled with love. A part of Mohanji’s e-mail said:

Milan,

Sage Agasthya told Devi Amma of Bangalore: “Inform Mohanji that he is our son. Mohanji and all his people are our responsibility. We look after them. We protect them. Nobody and nothing can touch them.”

I felt these words were taking things to an end.

This text will sound rough to many, but that is the purpose. True spirituality is not for the weak, the naïve, the lazy and the soft, the pompous nobles and the fakes. You will get slayed in this game, the sooner you realize this the better you will be prepared for all the challenges awaiting you.

If you have the guts to get to the finish line – take a deep breath, close your eyes and disappear!

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Translation from Serbian: Maja Otovic and Barbara Dizdarevic.