By Lisa Q, UK
“Happenings happen through time and space
Everything is happening through you.
We all happened.
This moment in time is happening.
There is a lot of happenings happening.
This is how the whole play works in the Universe.
We feel we are making decisions but what decisions can we make?
Because choices are very limited between Yes or No.” Mohanji
This is our beloved Gurudev Mohanji’s teaching and this is exactly what happened on the 23rd of February 2019 on His birthday. I surrender my every word on what happened on His holy birthday at my Gurudev’s feet. With this intense experience, everything changed inside and a new beginning happened. Using ‘I’ or ‘my’ is just to explain all these details, but in reality there is no ‘I’ left anymore.
Since Mohanji happened to me, almost every single moment, every single day is a miracle. A lot of shifting happened, severe blockages were removed through healing, unconditional love happened, acceptance happened, realisations happened, but also negativity happened, which I constantly kept ignoring within me. A huge amount of ego happened inside me with lots of expectations, but finally Mohanji’s unconditional love and light showed me the way so smoothly and gave me lessons from within. There is nothing higher than unconditional love and nobody could be more important than the Guru, because Guru is Parabrahma.
Supreme Consciousness is truth and purity. The more we are able to surrender completely to that Consciousness, the more we will be free from all darkness. And indeed without Guru, we will not be able to cross this huge ocean of life. With Guru’s blessings everything is possible, it doesn’t matter how impossible it may seem. Without His blessings nothing is possible, it doesn’t matter how small we think something is, at least, not for me. I bow down at your lotus feet Gurudev Mohanji, because without your support and unconditional acceptance, I would not have been able to realize that how many things may look very simple, but in reality they could be a huge trap of the mind.
So, let’s start-up,
On Mohanji’s birthday I had planned to go to Subha didi’s place to join the UK team to celebrate His birthday. I had even planned which dress I was going to wear and which song I would be singing. But again, which decisions can we make? Divine plan was different for me and I was totally unaware what was going to happen, my inner transformation through the following experiences.
A few days before the birthday, when one of my friends asked me to go to Skanda Vale with her, I happily agreed because Skanda Vale is always very special for me. We wanted to go on the 16th of February, but there was no accommodation available, so she booked us for the 23rd of February. When she called me about the change of dates, without a second thought, I said yes. Later on I realized that it was Mohanji’s birthday on that date and I had completely forgotten. It was too late to say no as the as the accommodation was booked. I was sad but I surrendered and said to Mohanji that may be this was predestined, but it’s ok. It was beyond my imagination that what kind of intense experience I will face within the next few hours.
I need to mention here that I had been fighting with my inner darkness and felt completely helpless with that energy for a couple of weeks. I mentioned this to Mohanji and He said,
“Everything will be fine. Do not worry and I am with you.”
But when we are drowning in the dark energy field, most of the time mind/ego becomes so big that we cannot even recognise that. That is exactly what happened with me. I was restless but kept asking for help and stayed connected to Mohanji, as I knew when He said everything will be fine, it will be. Each word from Mohanji is so powerful and I had complete faith that it doesn’t matter how much darkness I feel inside me at this moment, my Gurudev will never fail me.
On the 23rd of February,
We went to Skanda Vale, though I was very confused with many of fears and anxieties. What will happen if an accident occurs along the long drive, would it be very cold there, we have a small baby to carry with us (only 4 months), would this trip be successful etc. As these kinds of thoughts came across my mind, I wanted to call my friend to cancel the trip, but I surrendered my fears to Mohanji and prayed, waiting for His guidance. On the 22nd, I got confirmation telepathically that I should go ahead with the trip and it was a big relief for me. I asked my friend if we should buy a cake for Mohanji’s birthday so that we could offer it at the temple, but she said she will bake a blueberry cake and I agreed.
We reached Skanda Vale so smoothly and safely, without a single hassle. When we reached there, first I said, “Thank you Mohanji for making this journey so smooth, but now we want to offer your birthday cake to Maha Shakti and Lord Dattatreya. Please help us.” We went to the Shakti temple for the evening puja and I mentioned to one of the monks there, “Today is Mohanji’s birthday, we have brought some cake and would like to offer it to Maha Shakti and Lord Dattatreya.” He was very happy and agreed to do so. It was fully packed with so many people that evening and when the Maha Abhishekam started, there was bhajans as usual. While singing, they took some cake and mixed with the other prasad and distributed to everyone. I felt so very happy and gave thanks to Mohanji and Maha Shakti for fulfilling my wish. Then a monk came to me and asked if I could cut the cake and give a big piece so that they could offer it to Lord Dattatreya. I felt so shy and requested him to cut the cake, but he insisted that I should. So I did and even blew out a birthday candle as if it was my birthday cake. I gave him a big piece of cake and it was offered to Lord Dattatreya.
My wishes were fulfilled and I was very excited about it, but somewhere inside my mind I was not completely happy. Afterwards, we returned back to our cottage and slept.
On the 24th of February,
I had no plans for the day after Mohanji’s birthday, but I was not happy inside. We couldn’t attend the Shakti puja in the early morning, but went for the Ranganatha temple puja later on. I sat in front of Lord Vishnu and as the puja started, closed my eyes. Inside my heart, I was screaming with so many questions…. Why is my Gurudev physically away from me, why do I not have the qualities to stay with Him physically, why am I so helpless….. There were lots of “Why,” and I cried a lot. Then we went to the Dattatreya temple and I felt Mohanji’s physical presence there. Suddenly I was happy and shared with my friend that this was the place we were together with Mohanji when He did Lord Dattatreya’s Pranaprathishta and how magical that day was. It seemed impossible for me to join that auspicious day with Mohanji, but He made the impossible possible in an amazing way.
After the Ranganatha puja we came back and waited for the Muruga puja to start. My head felt very heavy, as if I was drunk. At 1.30pm, the Muruga puja started and as we started chanting mantras, I started to feel very hot despite the cold weather. When the congregation started singing, I started singing very loudly and dancing. I started shaking, there was a burning sensation in my spine and I started sweating. Suddenly, as I looked at Muruga, I felt as if I was not there in my body, and felt Mahavatar Babaji’s presence. Although I didn’t see anything specific, I just felt his presence. Then I heard the voice of Guru Subramaniam saying, “Come to me and sit in front of me. Play Kaali Kavacham and Shiva Kavacham and meditate.” As I came back to my body, I felt disorientated and didn’t recognise where I was for a few moments. All of a sudden I felt something leave me and I felt very energetic, even my friend noticed and said that I looked full of energy. I asked her to come with me after lunch so that we could go to Guru Subramaniam’s Samadhi, as this was the first time he had called me.
We had our lunch and I rushed to go to the Samadhi. We went there and I bowed down, offering my love and respect to him. Then I played the Kaali Kavacham and Shiva Kavacham and meditated.
After a few moments I realised that again I was outside of my body. As I opened my eyes, I saw that I was inside Guru Subramaniam’s Samadhi! I quickly touched my forehead on his feet and saw a bright light in the middle of his heart. I wasn’t sure what to do next, but gradually settled down and said, “Guru, you know everything about me and how powerless I am. I cannot stay with my Gurudev Mohanji nor am I able to serve Him properly. Why am I so powerless?” He started to speak very sternly, but with pure love and said, “You are not powerless, you have the highest power inside you.” I was so amazed to hear this. Then he said, “Why do you think I called you here? I only called you here because of that power which is burning inside your heart and that power is your LOVE for God and your PASSION for God. From now on never say again that you are powerless. With that power you can shake anything, even God too.” He blessed me and said, “Light a lamp on the top of my Samadhi,” and at that moment I returned back to my body. I lit two candles as instructed, chanted the Mohanji Gayatri mantra and made 9 circumambulations around Guru’s Samadhi. I sprinkled my hands, face, hair, chest and navel with the water from Guru’s Samadhi and drank some water from the Shivalingam there.
By this time it was almost 6pm, so we went to the Shakti temple for the evening puja straight from there. I sat down in the temple and started chanting the Kaali mantra. When I closed my eyes it was as if there was nothing left in this world. The puja started, we did chanting and singing. I was looking at Ma and kept calling her within me, “Ma… Ma… Ma.” After a few moments, an amazing vision formed in front of me. It was really strange, and I have never had this kind of experience ever before. I saw my body slowly starting to expand; it became so very big that when I looked down I saw all the monks and other people looking like little puppets. It felt strange to observe them, as if it was a puppet show and I was watching the small puppets performing a holy play. Then I saw another vision, they were offering me a crown, lots of gold and new clothes. Very beautifully, they were decorating me as a new bride. Then all of a sudden, I was in my body again and when I looked at Ma, she asked me, “Where is the separation?” I said, “Ma, there is no separation between you and me. You are inside my heart and I am inside you. No separation at all Ma.” I felt so joyful and after the puja finished, we came back to our accommodation.
That same night, Mohanji came in my dream. Actually, this was not a dream; it was another dimension of life. Initially I saw a small monster which slowly became bigger and bigger and finally so huge and it was trying to capture me, but certain divine forces came and destroyed it. After it was killed, I took a shower. After a few moments, I suddenly saw Mohanji sitting at a very special place and asking someone, “Where is Lisa?” I was nearly there and said, “Gurudev, I am here.” He looked at me and smiled. Then I went near and sat down beside Him and Mohanji said, “Tell me, what do you want from me?” I touched His feet and said nothing, and we sat there together for a little while. When I woke up, that feeling was still within me. It was more real than His physical presence. And I felt that everything had changed within me. A huge shift had happened to me with all these confirmations that there is no separation. We are all One Consciousness and that is the TRUTH. Until now, this truth was a theory to me but now I am able to realise what actually Mohanji says about Alignment. All these experiences were so intense and real that nothing can shake my trust in Mohanji anymore.
The next day was the last day at Skanda Vale and Ma said, “Before you leave, come to me.” We went and on the way to the Shakti temple, when we were standing in front of Guru’s Samadhi, the candle I had lit was still burning and my happiness had no limits. The burning candle was a symbol of my love for my Gurudev Mohanji!
We returned to London with the bliss of silence and only I knew how big this experience was for my small logical mind. This whole experience was beyond any imagination, without any expectations and when I shared all this with Gurudev Mohanji, He told me that all these experiences were TRUE and that I must write them down in detail and chew it at leisure as a cow does and digest it with time.
Some experiences should be digested with time.
And I think I will need a long time to digest these huge amount of experiences.
I bow down at your lotus feet Gurudev Mohanji and the entire Guru Mandala for bringing me from Darkness to Light and giving me the realisation about ONENESS.
“The mission of every guide on Earth is to lead a generation and beyond to the light of truth. Truth is very simple – YOU ARE THAT. You are the imperishable, immovable, colourless, formless, self-illuminating, brilliant entity that exists beyond time and space.” — Mohanji
Compiled, Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 11th March 2019
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