Faith & Surrender

By Viji Sagar

I always believed that I understood what faith and surrender meant and that I practiced it consistently. Until…

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, bright sunshine with a touch of coolness and a gentle breeze. A perfect day to celebrate Onam with family and friends. After a scrumptious but heavy meal, I felt a slight nagging headache set in. I chalked it up to over eating and took a long nap, only to wake up with an amplified headache, a tingling sensation and a little heaviness on the whole left side of my body. As the evening progressed, the discomfort increased. I could feel heaviness in my tongue and my left hand and legs felt like pillars. It started to seem like symptoms of a full on stroke.

Since my husband was traveling, I was alone at home.

It was late at night and I did not want to wake up anyone. As I was contemplating my next move, I caught a glimpse of Mohanji’s picture. Wondering why I didn’t think of Him earlier, I connected to him immediately, prayed that I am surrendering this situation to him and whatever HE decides I accept, with the belief that he would give me the strength to handle whatever the outcome may be.

This, my friends, was a turning point for me. I usually pray to Mohanji and tell him what the desired outcome should be, followed by the closing statement”I am surrendering to you, Mohanji”. But it was very different this time. It was total surrender. A feeling of peace spread through my being, knowing that Mohanji is with me, and accepting whatever will be… will be. I could feel myself slowly drifting away, as I lay with my little dog cuddled up next to me, while my lips were chanting the Mohanji Gayatri.

Suddenly I could feel a flash of bright light on my face and heard joyful chirping sounds. I realized I was still chanting the Mohanji Gayatri subconsciously. I was in total bliss until the familiar whirring sound of my neighbor’s lawn mower snapped me back to reality. I had slept peacefully through the night and was awakened by the morning sun against my face. I slowly moved my toes to make sure I was not dreaming. I then twitched the muscles in my arms and legs to confirm that they were fully functional. And voila! they were!

The feeling that came next is what surprised me. I felt a wave of gratitude that I was spared. I was happy, no doubt, but it was like I already knew I will be alright. I strongly believed that he would only allow what is best for me whether the experience is positive or negative and that HE is and will see me through it. This sense of security is not something I have consciously worked to develop over a period of time. It is exclusively the Grace of the Master.

I realize that my faith in Him has strengthened since I first met him, and I finally have experienced true surrender with no strings attached. Words cannot do justice to that feeling. It is the confidence that everything is going to be alright, that sweet spot, that no money, power or relationships can buy.

I wish that each of you experience this blissful connection with Mohanji. It is truly effortless. All that is required is to be open and willing to be vulnerable and let go. He takes care of the rest.

And for the naysayers… May the Force be with you!