by Bojana Fabel
It was in 2015, that I first met Mohanji, in Macedonia. This is how it all happened.
I had seen a Facebook advertisement, which said, “Satsang with Mohanji” and that it would be held in Skopje. I said to myself – “Oh, this is a great opportunity to finally be present at a real-life satsang!” I had watched satsangs of other Masters, Gurus and Acharyas, but only on YouTube.
I knew that Ziate, my high school friend was already connected to Mohanji. So, I immediately enquired about the same from him. He encouraged me and asked me to definitely attend the satsang.
I then contacted Zoran (Hanummatananda) to secure my place, and soon enough the day came when for the first time, I saw Mohanji. He was seated on his white chair, on a higher platform, dressed in white, talking and answering questions to a room full of people.
I still remember our very first eye-contact. He looked straight into my eyes, with a childish, yet fierce look. When I left the room after the satsang, I was enveloped with a feeling of purity, lightness and happiness, just like I would feel in my childhood days, so pure and blissful. That night, I had slept like a baby!
On the second day of the satsang, I was very happy to go back and meet Mohanji again. Not to forget, I was amazed at how calm He was, and more so, to see Him seated with His spine erect. I wanted to be like Him. (I am not joking).
But to the contrary, while the satsang was on, I felt like I wanted to escape from this room, leave and run, as fast as I could, as something was happening to me! I was having a FULL BLOWN anxiety attack. Here, I must mention that I had gone through anxiety and panic attacks, the whole of the previous year, and you cannot imagine the terror I was going through in the mind and body sitting in front of a Guru, with an expectation that everything will be perfect. Instead, I was having an attack AGAIN! It was really hard.
But all of a sudden, an unknown inner power woke up in me, which said – “NO YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, YOU ARE STAYING HERE”. I suddenly felt strong and so I remained seated. I had won over an anxiety attack for the very first time after two years of suffering! This was the last anxiety I ever experienced, since then.
I believe that the last attack was meant to cleanse my system, in front of my Guru, by my Guru. It’s difficult to believe, complicated to understand unless some clarity appears and one sees the whole picture. It’s a secret that has stayed with the Gods and Mohanji, that He never shared with me.
But, all I know is, I am free from these attacks.
The year of bliss
Ever since I met Mohanji, for the first time in 2015 (the year of transformation in His presence), I have been in a constant state of bliss, without any particular reason.
That year, I would wake up happy every day and spread smiles to the world. Every morning, I would share my experiences with Mohanji and many spiritual conversations with my father, during those beautiful sunny mornings in our lovely home garden. I call the year 2015, “The year of Bliss”.
The conditions in which I lived in Macedonia were far from perfect. I lived in an isolated village, where I had to travel for hours every day. This was after having lived in places, such as Geneva, in Switzerland; London, in the UK; and Singapore; where life was easier and far more convenient. Absence of conveniences of a well-developed city did not bother or affect me in any way. All I knew was – I was in Mohanji’s consciousness and He was taking care of my well-being at various levels.
It will always remain a mystery, the way Mohanji worked on me to miraculously bring me out of those two long years of suffering from deep anxiety and panic attacks, by just being in His presence for a day or two! I will never be able to explain this to anyone, apart from a few of my closest people, who had seen the change in me. Later, they too started following Mohanji and even met Him physically.
“Guru is a principle which can operate through any medium, any being or any situation. Guru needn’t even be a walking, talking being. It can even be an understanding which happens in your mind. It can be the tree, or the leaves, or the wind. Certain revelations happen when we see certain things”. – Mohanji
As the days went by, I kept soaking in Mohanji’s consciousness, unlearning and letting go of the mind itself and transforming, for which I shall always remain at His lotus feet with deep gratitude.
I must admit, that sometimes, I am gripped by this thought – “I am not any special being. Then, what is it that I have done in this life or past lives to deserve His divine love and protection?” I truly don’t know where would I be and how life would’ve been, without His grace and unconditional love.
I must also mention how His unconditional love was filling my own unfulfilled self-love needs, probably far more beyond what the eyes can see.
I look at Mohanji as God’s miracle and I hope that I am conscious enough to appreciate His presence in my life. I know that whatever I do will never be enough to honour the grace bestowed upon me, but I will keep striving to be my best forever.
I love you Mohanji!
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||
Compiled, Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 12th September 2019
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