On 20th November 2020 – I had penned down thoughts on Facebook – ‘When you are on the path of truth and light, people trying to silence you is only a test. Naturally, the universe provides another avenue. The universe always listens. Power of pure intention! Stay positive and hold on to hope. Naïve, I had no idea the gravity of this statement and the possibility of my life changing.
How did this statement arise? Let me take you back to 2019 when I started to find that I was detaching from the Foundation I was associated with. I was starting to understand the unity of the Guru Mandala. I felt like all Masters are One. I found myself letting go of the Outer Guru and started focusing on the Inner Guru. As this occurred, I started to let go of seva roles associated with the Foundation. And when the living Master came to my doorstep, I was physically unable to attend his program.
On an occasion in 2020, I found myself in a situation where I was being silenced by members of that Foundation. I was disgruntled. I was already looking inward, and this was the final push to cut ties. Hindsight shows that I wasn’t being silenced, but I was, in fact, guided towards silence, and I was taught to stand by my truth. Standing up for my truth didn’t mean that I had to argue with anyone. It just meant trusting myself.
However, with everything that happened, I was deeply hurt, and I started to believe that the Master’s teachings were separate from the Foundation (disciple-led). I didn’t want to ever belong to any Foundation again. Truth be told, my time was up there, and I was no longer aligned with that frequency.
During that time in 2020, NellyAnne directed me towards Devi’s podcast. Devi gave me hope. She gave me a glimpse into her life, empowering me to ask more from my life. I was tired of my mundane life. I deserved better. Somehow, I thought that I could do this with my own practices. The presence of various Kaliyug Datta Avatars was coming to my awareness, and in particular, I started connecting to Sripada SriVallabha.
It was May 2022, and my friend Jumri excitedly told me about Mohanji’s upcoming visit. When she asked me to come with her, I couldn’t say no. There was no hesitation. There was no doubt. I just had to go. I met Mohanji on 15th June 2022 in the beautiful Skanda Vale Ashram in Wales. He acknowledged my presence from the very first meeting. And this wasn’t just my experience; everyone I know had the same experience. He takes the time for each and every person. It’s his sheer kindness acknowledging every person who comes to him who wants to be in his presence.
During this trip, while conducting a Satsang, Mohanji mentioned Sripada and having recorded the Siddha Mangal Stotra. I was gobsmacked. Mohanji was talking about the Stotra I had grown to love. I was fervently asking around for this chant in Mohanji’s voice, but no one knew what I was talking about, and no one heard Mohanji talking about Sripada in the Satsang. Mohanji was, of course, up to his usual mischief, drawing me in.
Attending the June 2022 Retreat in St Albans, UK, I couldn’t help but be impressed by the sincerity, solidarity and transparency of the UK team. Shyama became my go-to person; she patiently helped me answer many questions, always with a smile on her face. Her gentle nature glows with the epitome of selflessness. Inevitably, I found myself engaging and participating in activities every so often.
In January 2023, I signed up to go to the Divine Trails of Puri. I was dissatisfied with the accommodation; I felt I was being cheated and messaged Subhasree regarding this. I was ready to cancel my trip even if it cost me. I felt I had to stand up for myself and speak my truth. Subhasree called me up and spoke to me. She cleared every single doubt for me with kindness and compassion. I was not being silenced. I was given a choice to reconsider my planned trip.
She is a pure, selfless being who wanted to give the participants the best possible experience as per Mohanji’s direction. I was witnessing Mohanji’s teachings being followed in their entirety! The impression inside me of the Foundation being separate from the Master was firmly wiped clean. For completion, Mohanji ensured the dissolution of this impression as I was invited to join the UK team actively a short while later.
Honestly, I was sceptical of the trip, but I trusted Mohanji, and I walked with his hands onto the divine abode of Jagannath Puri in February 2023. The trip was beyond special. The care, love, and kindness the Mohanji volunteers showed blew me away. This was my introduction to the Mohanji Global Family.
The memory that I must share about this trip involves the visit to Shri Jagannath Temple. Only Hindus are allowed to go into the famous Temple, but as I was menstruating, I couldn’t go. Most participants left to eat dinner or go to the Temple. Somehow, I could do neither, so I went back into the Satsang hall and surprisingly saw Mohanji giving Shaktipat to some people leaving the program early. I sat down and watched him and suddenly started crying in complete admiration, inwardly begging for liberation. I cried to my heart’s content.
When Mohanji was leaving the hall, he was looking the other way as he passed close by me. I didn’t attempt to stand up; I was glued to my chair. Before I knew it, boom, I felt a hand land on my head, blessing me! It was Mohanji’s hand. I couldn’t believe it. I was so surprised. I was in awe. In awe of Mohanji. In awe of the Tradition. What divine, perfect orchestration! I’m so grateful!
Two evenings later, there was no Satsang. And the opportunity to go to Shri Jagannath Temple arose. Miraculously, there was no sign of my period that day, even though it was my third day. Temples don’t normally interest me, but being so famous, I thought it was best not to miss the golden opportunity. Boy, was I glad because, 1km perimeter away from the Temple, my heart started to expand multifold, full of light beaming within, and I became acutely aware of the energy of the Temple.
I didn’t feel this before when I did the parikrama from the outside with non-Hindus a couple of days before. I was amazed at this Leela. It was close to 10 pm when we got to the Temple, and the energy was simply ginormous. It was amazing. It was incredible to sit and meditate inside the Temple. I was beaming with an energy unknown to me in this lifetime, yet so familiar, feeling so bright and alive. I am so grateful to Mohanji and the Tradition for giving me such an experience.
There were no signs of my period the next morning, but later that night, I found my period returned. It’s still mind-boggling and scientifically unexplainable. Mohanji took care of everything intricately. What did I do to receive so much love? I’m just so grateful for each and every experience. Only writing it all out has shown me how interconnected these moments were.
It’s funny; for several years, I’ve had all these wishes of being in close proximity to a living Master; I can barely muster the courage to say anything to Mohanji in his physical presence. Embracing his teaching of ‘Be You’, perhaps it will happen soon.
As I looked back on the quote of 20th November 2020, the universe did indeed open new doors for me, so benevolently, if I may say so. I have found my home. I offer my complete gratitude and obeisance to both Mohanji and Devi, who represent Lord Datta and Anagha Laxmi to me. They have changed my life. Thank you to each of the beautiful Mohanji family I have connected with – you have changed my life. May we all merge into the consciousness of whom we love so dearly.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 21st December 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
It was the beginning of the first Covid wave in March 2020. I was to battle a crisis in my family during the same period. Shirdi Sai Baba assured me all the time that he was with me and he had never left my hand in any of the crises. I had been a devotee of Shirdi Sai Baba for many years. All that came into my life after he made me aware of his presence – call it mundane or spiritual, always bore his stamp. There was nothing that was really wanted. Yet, in those times of crisis, I needed some clarity on whatever that was happening in my life.
While browsing the internet, I chanced upon a YouTube channel, ‘Sai Baba Devotee Speaks,’ through which a person named Mohanji appeared. The video, though it did not make any particular impression on me, aroused my curiosity in him, which led me to the official website, Mohanji.org. My mind, in its ignorance, took him to be one of those feel-good Gurus who catered, particularly to the Western seekers. You can find many these days.
My mind began creating one barrier after another until I started to read his blogs. Mohanji from the blogs was different from the one in the videos. When I began going through his blogs, one after another, the amazing clarity and the stunning conviction took me over. I was feeling a gut-churning kind of sensation, and a shift was happening in me. One of the blogs was about the sense of ownership and doership.
I could not hold myself any longer and felt that I might get into sobs uncontrollably anytime soon. I just rushed to the bathroom in the house so as not to cause any misunderstanding with the relatives at home and went into uncontrollable sobs. Then, it dawned on me that Shirdi Sai Baba and Mohanji were no different. It has been my experience that whenever I visited Shirdi and came back home, more often than not, I used to get into such uncontrollable sobs. I was converted.
I wanted to explore more and more about Mohanji. As I had less work to do because of the Covid pandemic, this gave me ample time to explore about him. Strangely, in those days, while reading the blogs, the name ‘Mohan’ would crop up in unexpected ways. On the first day of reading, a relative was muttering to himself about a wrong call that he had received and that the name of the person on the phone was ‘Mohan.’
On the second day of reading, another relative was telling someone that a person from the medical lab had come to collect her blood for tests, and she added, even though it was not necessary, that his name was ‘Mohan.’ On the third day, my little daughter came to me and asked me in all her innocence, “Isn’t the name of Gandhiji, Mohandas?”
I had to go for a long trip, 9 hours of driving in those days of the pandemic, and I still remember, throughout the journey, his words that I had heard from the YouTube channels kept hitting me, where they were supposed to hit. I was enamoured of him. Then, as I was getting to know more about him, I began practising the ‘Power of Purity’ meditation that was available online, which affected me strongly.
Initiation into Consciousness Kriya
“Autobiography of a Yogi” was a book which I was aware of but was never curious to read until then. One fine day, when I began reading the book, my interest in Kriya was aroused. I also happened to come across the testimonials of Kriya Yogis – “Journals of Liberation” by Gurulight, at the same time. I was not sure whether I was really meant to receive it in this life or otherwise.
I applied, and I submitted this dilemma to Shirdi Sai Baba. I prayed to him that if it was meant for me, then let the application be accepted; otherwise, let it get rejected. I would be okay with whatever was given. The application was accepted, and I undertook the Kriya training online in April 2020 and then made it a regular practice.
One fine evening, I had done the Kriya and listened to Shiva Kavacham, which was quite powerful. It was then that I heard a bird chirping in the silence of that evening. Strangely, I felt that the bird was within me, and everything around me was within me. At that moment, when I looked at the portrait of Mohanji, something within me strongly felt that he was indeed Shiva.
Then I burst into sobs, and the floodgates were open. I kept telling him and pleading with him that if he allowed me to stay near his feet like a particle of dust, I would be indebted to him forever. It was at that moment that I heard the voice, “I have always loved you, Mahantesh.” That was so overwhelming that it took a while for me to grasp what had happened. All his grace! On the one hand, it was an emphatic reassurance of the past connection, and on the other, it was a reminder that I might have strayed away from the path in my past lives.
In Shirdi
It was destined for me to have Mohanji’s first physical darshan at the Shirdi retreat in December 2021. That was a dream come true, as it was in the same retreat that the Kriya initiation was supposed to be held. The initiation turned out to be a surreal experience in his physical presence. When I sat with closed eyes, I almost lost myself in that magical atmosphere. While waiting for my turn, a volunteer patted my back gently to remind me that it was my turn.
When I went to him, I found him to be in an expanded state. While I kept looking into his eyes, he uttered some words that escaped my attention. The eyes, I felt, were like deep caves and that I could be lost forever if I entered them. The whole atmosphere was charged with gentle energy, and tears kept flowing down my cheeks while a beautiful bhajan sung by Natesh kept playing in the background.
The next day or so, everyone at the retreat was allowed to have individual interaction with him. With that gentle smile of his, he beckoned me to come when it was my turn, and that smile appeared to be something special – a smile of recognition. During the course of the conversation, he looked away for a while, and then his gaze turned towards me. All of a sudden, I felt as though my mind was put in a grinder, and my thoughts were running helter-skelter like popcorn. And it took a few seconds for everything to start settling down peacefully.
I can never forget that first retreat when I was welcomed to be a member of the M-family and allowed to flock with the birds of the same feather. I felt I belonged. I am grateful to Mohanji and the M-family.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 14th December 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
I often remind students of one of the many aphorisms from the film ‘Kung Fu Panda’: the past is history, the future is a mystery, but the Now is a gift (grace), which is why we call it the Present. Are we always aware of the grace that flows at the moment: the Now with its gift and opportunity?
The web of neural pathways in the brain processes information in fractions of time, and our mental interference through emotional reaction or otherwise makes the experience of Now a challenge. When we remind ourselves to focus on being present – the Now – we try to be one with what has already passed into memory. Divine irony.
Is it possible then to become aware of Now by watching or meditating on the rhythm of our breathing? Becoming implies time. Time and Now are mutually inconsistent.
However, there is one meditation given by Mohanji in which we are directed to the space between our ‘in and out’ breaths to experience an expansive space that is the place of pure awareness of the Self. The promise of possibility can be replaced by the experience of presence.
When we have a peak experience, we are said to catch our breath – that is, for a moment, we forget about the breath or breathing or thinking, and we fall naturally into that space, which is presence and time appears to stand still in a concentrated moment, and grace flows.
One such experience occurred on 9th June, 2023. I saw Mohanji physically for the first time at the holy ashram of Skanda Vale, the Community of the many names of God. This was during the Shirdi Sai Baba temple inauguration and Prana Pratishthaof Shirdi Sai Baba idol. Skanda Vale and the welcoming and inclusive Swamis, monks and nuns of the ashram have been a divine refuge, an ark in the sea of Samsara, for many years.
The gravitational power of Mohanji’s presence is to be experienced. Stillness is one of its manifestations, and silence is another. How, then, to describe the impact of seeing Mohanji for the first time? Visually, there is a vibrancy in which Mohanji seems to stand out from his immediate environment. Mohanji is outstanding, so to speak. He is magnetic.
My feeling was one of wanting to be physically close and yet respectful of his space amid my mind’s uncertainty over what was ‘allowed’ or possible. So I watched and observed from a distance, hoping that I might catch his gaze which would invite an approach, in other words, longing for recognition but mentally reasoning in advance against the possibility to avoid and manage disappointment.
Mohanji responded. I met Dirk.
Dirk is a divine force of love, generous and ever concerned for the welfare of others. I felt an immediate connection with Dirk and was very happy to talk openly with him. We spoke of Sathya Sai Baba and our experiences with Swami – when two or more gather in my name says the Master Jesus there I am, and Baba was with us as we reminisced. Sai Dirk encouraged me to approach Mohanji and Devi to seek their blessings and to request that I touch their feet.
I had shared with Dirk that this had been a longed-for experience with Sai Baba, but I needed more courage to approach Baba. Self-doubt had led to inertia and a lost opportunity. I explained to Dirk that on one visit to Prashanti Nilayam at Puttaparthi (India), Sai Baba had unexpectedly walked about the ashram outside of the formal darshan setting and timings to pour out his love and grace on devotees that ‘happened’ to be in the right place at the right time.
Naturally, a small crowd had gathered and, like a wave, moved with Sai Baba to the vicinity of the coconut stall in the ashram grounds where I was standing. My heart wanted to move towards Sai Baba and fall at his feet as others did. But would my mind allow that? No.
Subsequently, I realised that the coconut is the symbol of the ego, and I was at the coconut stall. Stalled – yet another divine irony. That sense that I was separate from Baba and not deserving of him or his love and a doubting mind – ego – meant that I didn’t move and I missed the opportunity.
Deep regret followed.
With hindsight, the ‘missed’ opportunity resulted in a period of intense sadhana and deeper longing. Baba’s Will, often inscrutable, is perfect in its timing and impact, and with Baba’s loving grace, other experiences followed. Even so, I had not physically touched his divine feet.
With Dirk’s encouragement and reassuring presence, I approached Mohanji and Devi. With some haste resulting from hesitancy, I conveyed to Mohanji my longing and missed opportunity with Baba and requested that I touch his feet.
I wasn’t eloquent, probably garbled, but Mohanji read my heart. Now was the time, and grace flowed. Mohanji nodded his head with approval, and with Sai Ram chants, I knelt before Mohanji and took padanamaskar. Devi gracefully gave her permission, and now, with more confident ‘Sai Rams’ being uttered, I took padanamaskar from Shakti. With a sense of completion and gratitude but having not yet emotionally assimilated what had happened, I watched Mohanji move along the path.
Are you coming to Scotland? Dirk explained about MCB in Scotland and the Prana Pratishthaof Shirdi Sai Baba idol and temple inauguration at MCB in a few days’ time. This would mean reorganising my work diary and booking leave at very short notice and a very long drive from South Wales. But with the experience granted by Mohanji still reverberating in my system, where there is a will, then there is a way.
Trusting but uncertain of the physical location of MCB Scotland, I approached Peter, another loving and generous soul. I was aware that Peter was somehow connected with Mohanji through his seva activity in addition to that at Skanda Vale. It transpired that Peter was part of the team that had located the property, which was now MCB Scotland. Therefore, Peter was able to write the address and postcode on an empty paper cup that I was holding. I don’t carry a mobile phone.
An empty cup that was about to be filled – Masters emphasise the importance of being your genuine (authentic) self: simply be, accepting yourself as you are ‘warts and all’ and open to receiving grace without any pre-conditions. Be honest but without judgement. The divine knows all anyway. The divine is directing the action through you watching the drama. A cup or conditioned mind already filled and closed to the divine play will simply overflow, and available energy and grace will go unappreciated and unused.
I felt the energy of purpose stir within – Adventure and the Will to venture forth. I began planning the trip in short measure. The inauguration was due to happen on Thursday and Friday, just days following the completion of the inauguration at Skanda Vale.
Almost everything fell into place; I had a work event on Thursday that I could not move but decided that was not going to prevent travel, and I would leave South Wales by car that evening to drive to Scotland and arrive in time for the inauguration event at MCB Scotland on the next day. This would mean driving through the night.
You might expect to feel tired with 12 hours of driving following a workday. Not when Mohanji’s will and energy are with you. At around 2:00 am in the morning, my sensible mind said to pull into a lay-by to rest for a while. I couldn’t sleep, so I eventually drove on, reaching MCB at around 6:30 am in the morning. Almost immediately, I saw Peter and then Vijay, who, in welcoming me, made sure that I had a cup of tea and refreshment. Blessings.
For the sake of brevity, I will leave the June experiences at MCB aside. However, I would like to mention two events in that divinely beautiful location. When walking to his seat in the Datta garden next to the Dattatreya temple for satsang, Mohanji gently but with intention touched my right arm at the level of my chest. To an observer, Mohanji’s hand had casually brushed my arm.
However, this triggered a reaction in my heart centre. It took some effort to prevent public tears from flowing. I was aware that Mohanji had removed an energetic imprint in my heart chakra that no longer served a useful purpose with the lightest of touches.
When talking with Devi in front of the Shirdi Sai Baba temple, again, a casual observer might have noticed Devi moving her hand in front of my solar plexus as a natural part of the conversation. I felt another energetic imprint being removed from that area.
Grace in abundance was being given naturally without asking or without the need for any acknowledgement. I returned to South Wales with a renewed sense of purpose. I set about the task of discovering Mohanji.
Vlogs, blogs and any information I could find in the time available outside of work and Skanda Vales’ livestream pujas were eagerly assimilated. In meditation, my focus was Sathya Sai Baba and the Gayatri mantra, but Mohanji’s face repeatedly appeared, and I could feel Mohanji’s presence and energy. When simply sitting quietly with my eyes closed, Mohanji would appear before my mind’s eye. I recognised the reassurance. I am in the presence of divine consciousness, a living Master.
The picture of myself and Mohanji taken with Mohanji’s kindness and blessings at MCB was printed, framed and installed at home, and his picture calling card was installed in front of a picture of Shirdi Sai Baba and Hanuman on my work desk alongside that of Sathya Sai Baba. The forms and pictures may be many, but the Supreme Consciousness is one.
Masters always advise enquiry of the Self or otherwise. Don’t take things at face value – but when knowledge, faith and experience have become established, then commit, be patient and don’t let go. Constant remembrance of the divine or a Master through any means possible is one method of not letting go. Sri Aurobindo has said that faith is never blind – faith is an intuition that inevitably leads to experience.
I was eager to be in Mohanji’s physical presence again. Sathya Sai Baba once explained to a group of devotees that meditation, japa and the like were useful tools when they were not in Baba’s physical presence, but when the source of all consciousness is with them, then simply be in that presence. To whom in any event are you chanting?
There is a story of an ancient king who had wasted his life and caused suffering to his subjects through neglect, with the exception of one act of kindness. As a consequence, on death, he was condemned by the greatest teacher, the God of death, Yama, to experience the consequences of his actions before rebirth.
The King, however, was permitted one day in heaven due to his one good action and was given a choice as to what would come first – the suffering or that day.
For all his faults, the King exercised the discriminating faculty that he had failed to use during his life and chose to experience the day in heaven. On arrival in heaven, the King enquired about the location of the great saints and sages in permanent residence and rushed to sit in their company.
At the end of the appointed day, Yama came to collect the King only to find that the fire and power of purity of the presence of the great saints and sages had burnt the karma of the King to ashes through simple proximity. The King avoided his fate.
This isn’t a story about getting out of jail free; there are many others in which cleverness has backfired, but a reminder about the value and supreme blessings of being in the presence of a realised Master at one with and expressing supreme consciousness.
Grace once more flowed with the Vel installation at Skanda Vale, and then MCB Scotland announced a retreat with Mohanji in September 2023 – ‘Rise and Revive’ – I signed up immediately. The many grace-filled experiences of that retreat are perhaps for another story.
Offered at the lotus feet of Mohanji and the Masters of the Tradition with gratitude, love and blessings.
Samastha Lokah Sukinho Bhavantu: May all worlds and all beings in those worlds be happy and free.
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 2nd November 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
Experience during Empowered 5.0 at Mohanji Peace Centre in Obrenovac, Serbia
17-26th Aug 2023
Sometimes, we work hard for the best results; on the other hand, the best things happen out of the blue, without expectations. I learnt and accepted that, in both cases, we get what we deserve, not what we desire. Life brings us the results of our past actions, whether we are conscious of them or not. During Empowered 5.0 at MPC Obrenovac, Mohanji mentioned many times grateful is graceful. The more gratitude, the more grace we accumulate. And grace is the only thing worth fighting for. It helps a lot on a spiritual journey.
This was the second Empowered 5.0, taking us deeper than the first one. It was meant to help us withdraw from our senses. That is why consistency is essential. Each Empowered 5.0 takes us deeper within. During the 10-day program of intense spiritual practice, we had an exceptional environment – proper vegan food, sleep, nature, and an energised place with live murtis of Ganesha, Dattatreya, and Shirdi Sai Baba at the venue. And a true Master was there! It would have been a real self-injustice if we hadn’t used these to the fullest. Whatever guidance Mohanji gave, I obeyed sincerely.
Mohanji’s Omniscience
Mohanji spontaneously showed his omniscience. For example, he called people by their names during the photo session. How did he know their names?! He had never met them in person before. Or even if he did, they were in the audience, and they weren’t introduced to each other in person. He said, “Oh, Tihomir, come,” warmly like to a best friend. Or “Oh, Isidora,…”
Another example was when Devi mentioned how Mohanji noticed that some people had bloated bellies, so he guided her to do pavanmuktasana, a yoga posture for it.
Furthermore, during the morning satsangs, Mohanji said directly, “I see what you are thinking. Your thoughts are crazy. So I prefer not to look at them much. You are here physically, but you are somewhere else in your mind. You think, what is going to be for the lunch. It is a really stupid state to be in.”
Eruption of Causeless Laughter
I followed the new technique as much as I could. Sometimes, I skipped lunch or dinner because I didn’t want to interrupt practice or because I was absorbed within and didn’t hear the call.
I had trained myself earlier to feel the energy within, and now I had enough time to romance it. Breath and I were like two lovers trying to live harmoniously with the heartbeat. There were times when this orchestra was noisy and out of chord, and fortunately, there were times when they played celestial symphonies of inner realms. Then, nothing outside bothered me. I felt like I was floating on a boat on the peaceful sea, with a breeze over my body, and I was astonished when the program organisers said it had been the 10 hottest days of the year.
On the 10th day, after sitting for so long, I felt like relaxing my body a bit. The moment I touched the floor with my torso and the head, just out of the blue, my heart opened. I was overwhelmed by uncontrolled, ecstatic laughter and tears, like when an innocent baby or a toddler bursts into laughter and giggles. Laughter bordered with crying. Tears were rolling from the corners of my eyes down to my ears. The eruption of laughter, accompanied by crying out of joy, continued and continued, as per my feeling, for about half an hour; it was pure ecstatic bliss beyond time and space!
When I started thinking what it was, it would subside for a breath or two, and then it continued again. Luckily, the eruption was much stronger than my mind, and my heart was able to bear such an explosion. I was addressing Mohanji in these moments with gratitude, gratitude, gratitude for this experience, and I wanted it to last forever!
I had experienced such prolonged ecstatic laughter once at the intensive retreat with Mohanji in Andrevlje and once after Conscious Dancing with Devi during Aarati to Sai Baba, which followed up. But both times, it was triggered by some activity. Here, it came out of silence and as a cumulative effect of the Yoga Nidra marathon with Devi and other processes, enabled by and accompanied by Mohanji’s energy work. He worked on each of us individually, as always. Although retreats are group programs, we always get a customised approach.
Mohanji says, “Causeless laughter flushes the mind out. The mind cannot stay when there is no cause. The mind thrives on causes. When the mind is flushed out, ego and intellect (logic) are also flushed out. When everything is flushed out, the inside becomes empty. No causes mean no flavours. No thoughts. No agenda. In that empty space, when everything is nullified, fundamental corrections in character and constitution can happen. This is induced by a seeming activity such as laughter.
However, causeless laughter is equal to the silence of beingness. It is stillness because the mind is still. The mind has no idea what is going on. It is bewildered. Causeless laughter has no pattern or reason. It is not bound by any particular stimuli or even joy. It is based on nothing.
The presence of a higher being or the one who has mastered his mind or a true spiritual personality could possibly affect this experience in a seeker if they drop analysis, judgement and comparison. If the seeker approaches a master with emptiness and no agenda, usually the master delivers them causeless joy. When the seeker approaches the master with a distinct agenda, more often than not, the result will be disappointment. Emptiness is the key here, and the benefit would be unbelievable.
When joy sprouts from inside for no reason, when the proximity of a master who is empty triggers causeless joy, uncontrollable laughter takes place in the constitution of a true seeker, and it flushes out the mind matter and makes it empty.
In the empty canvas, the master leaves the seeds of immortality – liberation. It can change habits, character and even life. It can establish silence from the core. It can create magic in life. Causeless laughter has the power of 1000 sincere meditations. Proximity of higher beings and recognising them, experiencing them, feeling them more than seeing them makes this possible.”
Such an experience is unique for me but not limited to a chosen few. In 2015, I remember Raj Sethi wrote about his experience in Scotland. He called it “Laughing Buddha, A Mystical Rendezvous with Mohanji”. He had been a heavy smoker and wanted to give up cigarettes but couldn’t. After that, he stopped smoking.
Another example was Deva, an old man who came all the way from the US to this program. He told us how once he asked Mohanji, “What is bliss?” And Mohanji tapped him on the back a few times. Deva burst into laughter and couldn’t stop laughing. Now, he can remember that experience and where true light is. During the photo shoot, whenever Mohanji gently tapped his back, he couldn’t help but burst into laughter. He continuously emphasised that love is not only inherent within us but also the sole necessity we need to express in our lives.
It will take me some time to settle and realise what changes have happened on subtler levels in my character and constitution. I feel much more acceptance and deeper relaxation as a result of it. There is definitely more stability, focus and stillness. I would give up 1000 holidays in Turkey, 1000 holidays on Azure Beach, and 1000 holidays in Egypt for one day of being in Mohanji’s divine presence again.
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 7th September 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
Pranapratishta in Skanda Vale and Scotland, June 2023
By Linda Abrol, Netherlands
Looking around at Heathrow Airport, I had a strong feeling that I should enter this particular restaurant. I was looking for Hemant and Priti and the whole Mohanji UK ‘gang’ that had passed passport control sometime before me. I had met them before checking in for my flight. I had had some problem with the machine since the name on my ticket didn’t exactly match the name on my passport.
Somebody else had booked my ticket and had, by mistake, filled in my married name. Hemant had kindly persuaded me not to ask at the counter but try the second option, a passport scan instead. It worked! Without him, I most probably wouldn’t have experienced what I was going to experience right now, for I would have surely gotten into trouble at the counter.
Walking through the restaurant, I heard my name and looked straight into the beaming face of Eric from Canada. Subhasree sat opposite him at the table and said: ‘Mohanji saw you walking just now, and he mentioned it to us.’ Mohanji was sitting there! I looked at him, and in my excitement to see him, I forgot all about my pranaams. I heard him say to Thea, who was standing close: ‘Find a bigger table so that all of us can sit.’ He immediately made me feel welcome. Otherwise, I would have quickly said hello and left to allow them their privacy.
This was not a small thing for me, although Mohanji says everything very casually. With one sentence, he cured six months of pain and loneliness. In December 2022, I moved in with my sister and stayed there until this journey. Apart from our trip to Shirdi in January 2023, when we had a revival, I only saw my husband occasionally. I had to make this move, for it was unbearable for me to stay at home continuously.
May everyone be happy, and may there be only winners, was my prayer. This marriage needed some big-time cleansing. The universe created this magical chance just when I needed it most and when I prayed intensely for a solution. The very next day, after my prayer, my sister told me she had decided to leave her apartment in the city to be out in nature for a few months. She invited me to stay in her house for the time being. I was extremely surprised and grateful for the opportunity – thanking Mohanji with all my heart – but extremely sad at the same time. Anna’s house was empty, and so was my heart.
Although I had faced much more extreme situations than this in my life, I had never felt so isolated, lonely, desperate, doubtful and locked out as in these months. I had a deeper existential fear than after the diagnosis of a life-threatening illness in June 2022. At that time, I had a lot of support. But this time, it seemed my best friends had forgotten me, and my near ones unanimously deemed it fit to find some or the other fault with me.
Apart from my dear sister, I couldn’t explain much about my situation to others, for I am not the type to throw mud. And if I had to explain a bit, I tried to stick to talking about my own feelings, challenges and my understanding of the situation. If I said a bit too much to anyone about the truth as I perceived it, I deeply regretted it afterwards. I didn’t want to be judgmental. I knew righteous indignation was sanctified quicksand for a sadhaka.
Familiar issues – even the ones I had faced courageously and successfully in the past – of abandonment, fear of judgment and anger and a feeling of not belonging reared their head but multiplied by a thousand times in strength and duration. No matter how much I witnessed my emotions and thoughts, how many mantras I repeated, how much vastly cleansing work I had done in the past, and how much I remembered all the wisdom of Mohanji and the Masters, I couldn’t help but feel lonely and misunderstood. There was no end to it.
As a topping of the misery cake, all the physical symptoms of the life-threatening autoimmune disorder that I was miraculously cured of in autumn 2022 came running back. But actually, I could totally accept the concept of dying, but living without feeling loved and understood… I simply couldn’t stand it anymore.
Why did all this happen? Mohanji tells us not to analyse. But I know for sure that I had given him permission to cleanse me completely when I walked my Kailash Yatra simply around his body in October 2022, during Empowered 5 in Serbia. Since then, my life has become a rollercoaster, and I had nowhere to cling to, identify with, hold on to, go for comfort or security, no job to distract me, no duty to perform. I was nothing in my eyes, and I meant nothing to anyone. Which was not true, but it felt extremely true.
My energy frequency crashed to extreme lows. When I thought I had seen the bottom of the well, someone would show up out of nowhere, finding another fault with me until one day, I relaxed in the midst of my despair, feeling all alone in a dangerous world, and this time a shift happened. I simply accepted. What if no one wants to walk with me? What if no one understands me? What if no one will ever understand me and sees who I really am or support who I want to be, not seeing my pure intentions? So be it! If I have to walk alone, I will walk alone.
No one understood me forty years back when I was the only one eating healthy food, doing yoga, restraining from eating meat and hardly drinking any alcohol. Why would anyone understand me now that I have chosen an even more extreme path? And being very, very sensitive, I couldn’t even understand myself. Let me walk alone, then. So be it! This gave me strength.
In his ashram in Bangalore, during our last visit in November, I had asked Mohanji: “I don’t want to take my karma by simply running away from my relationship. What should I do?” I explained to him how I felt.
Mohanji replied: “Grounding. The base of the tree should be spirituality. Spirituality should be the only option for you.” He knew that was my only desire. “No matter what happens, it may rain, the wind may blow, and it may be hot or cold, but the tree stays.” I asked him how I could see that practically with the storm and all.
Mohanji replied: “You have taken birth. One decision. No other matters. Nothing is touching you. Just like the tree. Rain or sun …”
“Just acceptance?”
Mohanji: “Emotions are all temporary. They only attack you when you are awake to it. Imagine Sita, for example, is shouting at you (he looked at Sita next to me), and you are asleep, then you won’t be able to hear her. It is like that. We are deaf to the situation and keep smiling. So that it doesn’t bother you, stay grounded. The issue of marriage is ownership. Ownership is the trap. Marriage should be purposeful. For a purpose. One common purpose and two people walking together.
See these girls; they walk with me (Mohanji pointed at the rooms where Milica and Thea were). I always tell them, “It won’t be easy for you. Infatuation, imagination, and hallucination won’t work here. Clarity works. If, in this lifetime, you want to attain liberation, it will happen. But that should be the only purpose. Existence is the only purpose of the tree.
Life is your only purpose. Life gives you different experiences. It changes time. It changes your age. It changes your experience pattern, structure, constitution, and character traits. Rain is happening, thunder is happening, etc., but the tree is stable because it is rooted in the ground, not in activity. Activity is for remembrance and alignment. Spirituality means: what you are. What is inside you. This is the ground which is stable. Be rooted there. Whether you like it or not, activity-wise, the tree is stable.”
“And what about the storm?”
Mohanji: “Silence. If the wind uproots you, if you can get up, get up. A relationship is temporary. I am talking about permanence.”
This took my focus away from feeling ‘I am hurt’, and I decided to simply see if a mutual focus would reappear and at the same time keep up or build up the ‘strong and steady tree mode’.
If the last six months were the test for Mohanji’s teachings from November 2022, I didn’t quite live up to the mark. But since failures are the stepping stones to success, I will see them as mere experiences and refrain from whys and judgments.
After arriving in Skanda Vale on Wednesday, Jana, Britta (my travelling companions from Germany), and I settled in our assigned yurt in the silence of the magical valley. We dedicated ourselves to our assigned tasks the next day, and the preparatory ceremonies for the Pranapatishta took place on Monday. Mohanji was invited as the chief guest and, under the guidance of five outstanding pandits, he participated in the puja in the Yaga Sala, a huge tent next to the new Shirdi Temple where the life-size Shirdi Sai Baba statue would be placed and consecrated.
When Mohanji got up after the puja, I stood in the double row of people he walked through. I did not expect to get my long-awaited Mohanji hug at such an intense high energy frequency time, so I was not prepared for the fact that when he saw me, he wrapped his safe arms around me and pulled me close to him in the warmest hug ever. Someone took a picture, and all the emotions of the past six months can be read on my face. The pain gave way to a moment of bliss, coming home and relief – all visible on my face simultaneously. I am overjoyed with this picture!
I had no questions during this 10-day journey and was just happy. That happiness continued seamlessly in Scotland, where the stunningly beautiful MCB (Mohanji Centre of Benevolence) of Mohanji Foundation UK was sanctified with the consecration of Ganesha, Dattatreya and Shirdi Baba statues. In Scotland, I especially enjoyed the family feeling, the sense of belonging, and being allowed to do seva together – with Mohanji and Devi always nearby and very accessible in our midst.
It was as if the whole ten days journey was the degree that came my way after a long and difficult exam. Whereas the study period had involved exclusion, lovelessness and judgment, the ‘degree’ was filled with unity, recognition and warmth. Well, if life is a continuous journey, let me not get stuck with the idea that I have got some degree. Tomorrow there will be another challenge.
During the Kriya Intensive in July 2023, Mohanji said (forgive me if I don’t repeat his words literally): ‘If you are in the depth of despair, during your most trial times, don’t expect your friends or loved ones to stand by you and hold your hand. They may not.’ That was my ultimate confirmation. When you are in one of the dark nights of the soul, you are alone. The truth lies in accepting it. But everything will come back to you when the time is right.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 27th July 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
I would like to share something that my heart feels – that Mohanji is Jagadguru Sri Krishna himself, that he is the kaliyugi Kalki avtar himself. These are the words coming from the purity and innocence of this bhakta without any doubt.
Have patience, have faith. Even if he is letting you go through hell, trust that he is very next to you, holding your hand. The only thing is you need to always remember him. He will and is taking care of each one of us. Like a shepherd/cowherd, Mohanji is looking after us. He is the light beyond all that we are through lifetimes. He knows everything about us; hence let him take care of us in all ways.
In return, he wants us to be us. Just Be You. Spiritual progress is expressed as compassion (karuna) outwardly in every way possible to every living and unanimated being. He is retiring sooner or later; hence run after him. Remember, he is Sri Krishna himself, who will suddenly disappear, tease us, and make us crave for his presence.
Mohanji is the incarnation of the purest form of love. Love that is expressed in the form of Rasa Leela to Gopikas, love expressed in the form of Damodara Leela to Maa Yashoda and love expressed to all of his devotees like Meera Bai, Bhakta Tukaram, Sati Sakku Bai etc.
As told by mother Meera Bai, please get married to the consciousness of Mohanji (Sri Krishna), for he is the only positive ion, and the rest are like bees attracted to the nectar in the flower.
My heartfelt gratitude for each and every moment that Mohanji is spending between us. Try to drink it with all your senses as much as you can while it’s flowing. During Empowered 5.0, by the 4th day of Silence meditation, Mohanji laid the foundation in our hearts as promised by letting me experience his love in the form of Sri Krishna. And each one of us is like cows around him.
Mohanji literally conveyed the message that we need to always remember or visualize that all these humans, relations, etc., around us are the forms of mother cows. Therefore, we should shower the love and compassion of a mother cow towards them.
Nobody has left and will leave empty-handed. What else can these hands write than his (beautiful) Sundara Leelas? What else can this mouth recite than his name? What else can this heart crave other than his motherly love and presence in every aspect of this beating heart? My most grateful, heartfelt gratitude to his magnificent figure, which has no beginning nor ending.
Empowered 5.0
How to love unconditionally – Krishna’s devotee Sakku Bai
Day 4 was restless, and I couldn’t even sit in silence for 1 hour at a stretch. But every time, after a short break, I tried to get back to the silence. After all, Mohanji said today in satsang, “Today is extremely important, so utilize it as much as you can.”
Then by evening, around 6:30 pm, I felt a sudden calmness in my thoughts, and I felt somebody touching my ajna chakra (3rd eye) with the thumb because I could sense a formation of yellowish orange light just the size of a thumb. Immediately I recognized it to be Mohanji in his subtle form, who had come to ease my restlessness. I was wearing a blindfold, so I couldn’t open my eyes and hence kept enjoying my master’s presence.
But after a while, I was crying like a two-year-old baby wanting my mother’s love and affection. The following conversation happened between us (as if somebody was sitting inside me and speaking). While I asked my doubts, Mohanji cleared all of them.
Mohanji: “Unconditional love is extremely important. Only that can bring freedom to you.”
Me: “But I don’t know how to love unconditionally, Mohanji. Can you please help me?”
Mohanji: “Recently, when you had been to Gangapur (Lord Datta’s 2nd incarnation in Kali-yuga – Sri Narasimha Saraswathi Swamiji’s Mutt), you met a cow on the road while walking towards the temple. You showed extreme affection and caressed that cow as if it were your own child, and you had even forgotten that you fear cows (due to their large size).
That being (cow), too, was loving you, giving hugs, and letting you feed her bananas. You had no doubts, nor had you given a thought that it might be an animal. This is unconditional love. For the first time, you have experienced this. Cherish this moment always, and remember to see this cow in everyone around you and in everything you see and feel. This is the unconditional love that Sri Krishna showered on everyone.”
Me: “But, I always lose my temper with my closest family members, especially my mother, later feeling bad about it. Will this unconditional love – cow technique work? Can you relieve me of this helpless behaviour? I feel irreparable.”
Mohanji: “Whenever anything triggers you to lose your temper, visualize how you loved, imagine them as this beautiful cow. This way, you can sit inside your heart cave in deep bliss without getting affected by external world matters that bother you and show unconditional love to all beings.”
And Mohanji helped me do this technique to relieve the guilt and pain I’ve been carrying for a long time by hurting my close ones. And what I see in everybody and everything around me is the lovely face of that cow (only in different sizes). All that is left around me is unconditional love.
Me: “Isn’t it Krishna who is surrounded by cows, but why am I in the place of Sri Krishna?”
Mohanji: “Because You and I are One. Like Radha-Krishna, Meera Bai-Krishna, Swathi Sakku Bai-Krishna (Mohanji).”
Me: “It’s a nice joke to lighten the mood, Mohanji.” I laughed out loud remembering my childhood days when I used to tell my name as Swathi Sakku Bai as I loved this name Sakku Bai (heard in a song) without knowing anything about her.
Sakku Bai – Google image
Sati Sakku Bai is a staunch devotee of lord Vitthal (Sri Krishna of Pandaripur). Being a married woman, she was ill-treated by her in-laws, but still, she showered love and respect towards them. Whenever in pain and misery, she used to reflect within herself, immersed in singing songs of Krishna.
Throughout the day, she would get completely engrossed in the household chores. Day by day, she became malnourished as she was given very little to eat. But, despite all this, while milking the cow, cooking, cleaning, and mopping the house, she would always be thinking and chanting about Vitthal (Sri Krishna).
Mohanji: With a serious tone, “You are Swathi Sakku Bai. You are Sakku Bai. You need to trust me and believe me. It is what it is. Do not doubt this, dear. You are my Sakku Bai.”
I was in tears and couldn’t hold this love in my heart. Comparing myself to a great devotee was like being heavier than a mountain to carry though it was beautiful & peaceful. Just then, I remembered a song of Meera Bai’s and started singing softly (tears flowing), bowing down to Mohanji in my mind:-
“Giridhar Gopala Baala, Giridhar Gopala,
Shyamala Shareera, Kaustubh Haar,
Brindha Vanachara Tulasi Haar”
Mohanji: “Yes, bring me a Tulasi Haar when you come to meet me in Delhi (Nov).”
At a loss for words, I just cried loudly with extreme happiness. Everything that recently happened started making sense. I lost my job a couple of weeks ago while my visit to India. Financially, I’m handicapped now. But deepest desires were fulfilled (Dusserah Homa, Delhi weekend retreat and Empowered 5). Thanks to Ananth Anna, who made it possible for me in the form of Mohanji.
As I had registered for this weekend program, which was happening on Nov 12 & 13th, I was thinking of taking my flute to get it blessed by Mohanji. To these silent prayers, I felt Mohanji asked me to just bring a garland of Tulasi (holy basil) leaves, for that was enough.
This beautiful Sri Mohana Krishna Sundara Leela left me with unconditional love similar to that of Sri Krishna’s Rasa-Leela and Damodara-Leela. The word gratitude has, for the first time, become so minute that it is not enough to thank Mohanji for showering upon us his motherly affection and leaving behind these Leelas for us to constantly remember how to love unconditionally.
Pranam Mohanji, for taking care of everything and everybody.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 13th July 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
This is a testimonial of my experience during the Mohanji retreat held in Puri in February. I ought to have written this much earlier, but I’d kept postponing it for some reason in the last few months. Then I happened to watch snippets of the Rath Yatra online on 20th June, and after that, I couldn’t stop thinking about that retreat and how deeply it had impacted me.
A few beautiful experiences came my way during those days, all thanks to the immense grace of my beloved Guru, Mohanji. But for now, I’ll write about my first visit to the Shree Jagannatha temple during the retreat.
I’d wanted to visit the Jagannatha temple in Puri for years, so I was thrilled when I heard that a retreat would be held there. The icing on the cake was that the retreat would include Mohanji’s birthday celebrations. It is hard to describe how I felt during the retreat. Being in Mohanji’s powerful presence, listening to his transformational satsangs, attending the beautiful, sacred homa, and pilgrimages to power spots in Puri and nearby areas – all this together made it one of the most unforgettable experiences for me.
However, on the night that we were to visit the Jagannatha temple for the first time, I was not feeling as excited as I had thought I would. Maybe it was because I’d been a little unwell since morning. While sitting on the bus that would take us to the temple, I was in a somewhat blank state, with no particular expectations or thoughts. The bus couldn’t go up to the main entrance, so at one point, we all got off the bus and began walking to the temple.
As we drew closer to the temple, I looked up at the Neel Chakra (a blue wheel at the top), and after that, I couldn’t take my eyes off it. Every time I had to look away from it, I would feel restless. I didn’t want to keep walking. I just wanted to stand somewhere and stare at the Chakra for some time. But I had to keep up with the group, so I continued walking. And as I neared the main gate, the Simha dwar (lion gate), I realised that something had changed in me in the last few minutes. I felt pulled and overcome by something that I can only describe as a powerful energy vibration.
My mind was empty apart from one word, one name reverberating within me loudly and unceasingly – Jagannatha, Jagannatha!
I felt as though the air and dust in that space were trembling with the force of that name. My eyes continued to dart to the Chakra whenever possible, and for some inexplicable reason, I also kept scanning the night sky above the temple.
We had the highly sacred Mahaprasad before going for darshan, and while eating it, I was frequently overwhelmed with tears, and I felt so grateful for every morsel, as if I had waited for so long for it, and something in me kept saying this was “food from home”.
After that, we hurried to the main shrine, and I felt intense love, gratitude, and excitement with each step. I couldn’t wait to see Jagannatha. It was extremely crowded in the main hall, but I made my way through it with the experience of having travelled by public transport in a bustling city.
At the first glimpse of Jagannatha, I felt a burst of joy and devotion, and I couldn’t stop smiling with happiness despite the crushing crowd. There were initially some people before me, but then I somehow found myself at the front suddenly, with a clear view of the inner sanctum. The priests began to do aarti, and until it lasted, I could have wonderful darshan of the deities.
Then I went towards the back of the hall, where there was the Garuda Sthamba, which devotees were touching and embracing with reverence. On the wall behind, we can still see the indentations of Chaityana Mahaprabhu’s fingers, where he had leaned against it to look at his beloved Jagannatha, and the stone had melted under the heated fervour of his love and devotion.
One devotee was singing a bhajan beautifully, and though it was in an unfamiliar language, there was such deep love and yearning in his melodious voice that it moved me profoundly. In a corner, an emotional young man was talking nonstop to Jagannatha with what seemed to be a mix of anger, pain and love, tears flowing down his cheeks while his fingers moved on a japa mala. So many devotees were craning their necks and jumping up to get a clear view of Jagannatha. The air frequently resounded with jubilant cries of “Jay Jagannath!” with everyone raising their hands joyfully.
Though I had long wanted to visit the temple, I hadn’t had any deep emotions towards Lord Jagannatha until then. But that had changed in a matter of minutes. I was now experiencing a surreal joy and love for Jagannatha while standing there. I could suddenly understand the devotional frenzy he evoked in people. I could understand why thousands and thousands of pilgrims face numerous hardships to participate in the Rath Yatra.
Only Jagannatha existed for every person in that space. He wasn’t a deity whose idol was made of wood. He was their most adored one, more real to them than beings made of flesh and blood, much closer to them than their family and friends and even their own selves. He was everything to them – without him, they had nothing.
I felt this was love in its richest, most exalted form, and just witnessing and sensing it caused tears to flow down my face continuously. Also, the energy was unbelievable. The atmosphere was pulsating with it. And beneath all the sounds, there was a powerful silence. Overall, it was a realm of pure love, pure energy and pure consciousness.
And then a crystal-clear realisation flashed within me in that sacred atmosphere.
This is Mohanji in his unbound form. This is Mohanji’s true form. Beyond creation, beyond time, beyond attributes.
Mohanji is Jagannatha. He is Shiva. He is pure energy, pure love, pure consciousness.
Mohanji is in everyone; he is in everything; he is everywhere.
These thoughts echoed repeatedly in my mind, inducing a profound stillness within. It was as if a veil was pulled from the truth briefly to help me get an inkling of Mohanji’s true form and stature. And I knew the entire unforgettable experience in the temple had come my way only because of Mohanji’s causeless compassion and grace.
Those moments I spent in the temple are still alive in me. And when I feel upset or frustrated about anything, I only need to remember those moments to feel a shift in my emotions and an upsurge of gratitude at having found refuge at the lotus feet of Mohanji, who is the embodiment of supreme consciousness.
Like Lord Jagannatha during the Rath Yatra, Mohanji walks among us; his arms outstretched to embrace everyone, loving and accepting us just as we are, his eyes watching all beings with intense compassion and lighting the flame of liberation in hearts with a merciful glance.
Om Parabrahmane Vidmahe Shree Jagannathaya Dheemahi Tanno Mohana Prachodayat
Editor’s note: Currently, the Rath yatra is happening in this power center – Puri, from 20th June to 2nd July. Mohanji Bharat and Ammucare Charitable Trust are doing Annadaan through a stall. Our dedicated volunteers serve water, Mahaprasad, and first-aid to the millions of people visiting this place.
Join us in spreading love and kindness as this service continues until 2nd July. To donate, please visit
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 26thJune 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
I have carried a portion of India with me even here. Indeed a unique trip, especially as a significant part of the time was spent in the presence of Mohanji in power centres, enveloped by his grace. I still feel charged by the energy of Mohanji, which I was basking in throughout the trip.
My wife Ivana and I started our journey on 17th Feb from Cork with a 3-hour bus ride to Dublin, a 4-hour flight to Istanbul and a 6-hour flight to Mumbai as our first destination in India. Actually, this trip started a long time ago with planning the flights, stops, logistics etc.
Ivana and I laughed about how different we are in this matter; I like to plan ahead, and she would just go with the flow on her previous travels to India. The whole trip worried me about how I would manage the budget, seeing all the sites I planned, work balance (as I took only five days’ leave), is the internet good etc., you name it. Writing this seems like I managed successfully. It was a blessed trip.
Before it all evaporates, it really feels like we were in India a month ago, and this is probably my last effort to write it all down before I forget it. The funny thing about experiences is how fast they are gone, and life doesn’t wait for one to dwell on that moment but pushes you into new experiences. Alas, I didn’t feel like going, but being a stubborn Taurus, it was very hard to move; it was a miracle that I started this trip in the first place. All praise goes to my wife Ivana for bearing with my moods.
Mumbai, Ganeshpuri and Shirdi
Day 1, Mumbai – Going from the airport by a cramped taxi to our accommodation downtown with Marjan and Jelena, whom we met in Istanbul, was probably the first impression I got about India, which confirmed my expectations of India that I saw on TV or heard from friends. Huge, crazy traffic, tonnes of people roaming on streets, slums with extremely poor communities, fully developed parts of town, flavours in the air, vast scenery of everything in sort of a mist, one cannot comprehend and process in single view or thought. I was in awe and smiling all the time. We got to see a little bit of Bandra, part of the town where we were residing while searching for a SIM card to get the internet.
The journey commenced as it should. On the same night, it was Mahashivaratri, a night dedicated to Lord Shiva, so we wanted to experience local ceremonies in one of the temples. Google Maps took us to a slum in one part of the town, with locals welcoming us to participate in their devotional singing and celebration.
Though it was a little scary initially, it was a unique and original experience. I would recommend a magnificent place for eating, Earth Cafe, which we highly recommend as a pure vegan place with the best food I have ever tried and smiling service.
Day 2, Ganeshpuri – While leaving Mumbai, one sees the town, suburbs, and vastness of this big human dwelling – how we organise our lives and the places where we live. It reminded me of hive-like behaviour. Ganeshpuri was totally different as it is a holy place, the abode of the great saint Bhagwan Nityananda. We first visited the Muktananda ashram and then the samadhi of Bhagwan Nityananda.
Marjan from Iran joined us as her flight came a day later, and our group grew slightly. We also met Monika and Nemanja here, and it was nice to see familiar faces on the other side of the globe. We were in time for darshan and received prasad queuing with many others, feeling we belonged with them. One guy from the crowd took us behind the temple on the riverbank to see the place where Bhagwan Nityananda meditated under a banyan tree and where he bathed in hot springs. The whole complex resonated with me, and I felt at peace. Some special moments such as these made us realise the unseen hand of the guru guiding us.
Day 3, Shirdi –The trip to Shirdi was about 5 hours from Ganeshpuri, through rural parts of India. This powerful centre allowed me to taste real India. I tried coconut water, sugar cane juice, samosa, tea, and coffee. My travel mates were not that enthusiastic, though.
Various people in colourful clothes were on the side of the road, where all the fuss was happening. Selling fruits and vegetables, making bricks from the earth and drying them in the sun, funny trucks with crazy ornaments on them, cows on the road, people stacked driving on motorcycles, no roads, then highways, then no roads again. All in all, an enjoyable 5 hours trip. Coming closer to Shirdi, I felt different energy as the land was more fertile and flatter than we had passed. In Shirdi, everything spins around the temple complex of Shirdi Sai Baba, the avatar of the Hindu God Dattatreya.
I have heard so much about Shirdi Baba. He is staying in my home, right when one opens the front door and in a few other places around the house. Seeing in-person how big and respected his temple is, I understood why he is so popular among believers and spiritual seekers. It takes a lot of queuing and scheduling with tickets to enter the shrine, but once inside, it’s worth it. Seeing all these people and devotees from 7 to 77 years kneeling and lying on the floor in front of his statue makes you wonder how big his demeanour actually is. In the Mohanji family, most people connect to Sai Baba, and he has a special temple space in all the Mohanji Centers of Benevolence.
Then you realise it is not about human characteristics or what you see in him, but you can understand if you need to put it in the context of Hindu tradition and God. Aside from the “official” part of visiting Sai Baba, we experienced many other lovely little moments with people wanting to take a picture with us, kids hanging on our arms begging for money, and people looking at us and smiling – a warm feeling of acceptance.
Ivana finally took four little girls, following us around for lunch; we have a picture of them being the happiest kids in the world. So, rewarding. We also visited another smaller and much calmer temple of Sakori, which I liked because there was not much crowd and fuss around. The place is dedicated to Shri Upasani Maharaj, the main disciple of Sai Baba. He locked himself once inside a small bamboo cage, even though he was tall and cramped inside. He said he suffered for the release of his disciples and was standing as a surety in the divine court for their release. He confined himself in that small cage for over thirteen months, practically fulfilling all his daily needs from there. The disciples performed his aarati and listened to his discourses from within the cage. At last, on 31st Jan 1924, Maharaj released himself from the cage and stepped out of it to greet a small child named Godavari, who would later become his inheritor and the keeper of the spiritual wealth of the Sakori Ashram.
Puri retreat, 22-28 Feb
This retreat with Mohanji was the main reason for our trip.From day one, the ambience and satisfactory feeling of being welcomed by the program and events that one could not do on his own without outside help were enough for me to feel warm and safe and willing to give back. I went with the flow and let myself emerge with experiences this retreat allowed me to avail of. All praise goes to the Mohanji India organisation team for holding such a humongous event for so many people, and thank you for that.
The retreat is another world in itself. As everyone knows, who attended previous ones, or first timers, there is almost electricity in the air, filled with enthusiasm and curiosity in people’s eyes, raising expectations of what blissfulness we are headed towards this time. And heading we were. For me, it was a special treat of great fun, enlightenment, understanding and completion, and easiness of existing.
I met Mohanji for the first time in Istanbul when I visited Ivana after one of the retreats. I had never attended one, and we met outside in some restaurant with a few others from the Mohanji Family. When addressing me in the first introduction, I was asked to pay attention to what he told me. He told me a story about the lion, which I interpreted as that attitude greatly matters in people’s lives. If you don’t have one, you are making your existence harder because you open yourself to a vulnerable position of defending your beliefs, thoughts or any feelings and conclusions you might have, but usually not sharing with a wider audience.
It’s like playing video games and choosing a character to represent the best you strive to be. I lacked a lion attitude.
When I wrote this today, I understood I could learn much from thisunassuming man (Mohanji). This is not just a hoax or sect (as a typical label would immediately follow) but practical selflessness by one man trying to share the truth with the world.
Later on, I realised it’s much more than that, and I am happy that in this journey of learning about myself and the world around me, I have taken my first baby steps. Puri was my second retreat, as I visited Divcibare retreat for the short two days program. I dive into the depths each time, learning and connecting with Mohanji.
Puri was the first full retreat that I attended. I notice the people’s happiness at seeing each other again over the last year. It’s like an annual gathering of similarly minded individuals coming back from missionaries to share their experiences and new conclusions of knowing the self and reinforcing their beliefs in the pure presence of Mohanji with his positive attitude and smile; you just feel that you belong there.
For the program itself, if I must choose, I was touched by Tota Gopinath Temple, where I experienced the outer body realm during the chanting. I was transported somewhere else. Preeti Duggal later told me that when she saw me, she could see that I was smiling and blissful, which made her also happy. It’s nice to have such confirmations. Later Ivana explained to me that even before, I used to react to the path of Krishna and that it explains some of my features. That is another confirmation I wouldn’t know by myself.
The Homa/fire ceremony for purification was very powerful, especially with Rajesh maintaining the fire and Lenart, Dejan, and Graham chanting the Veda. Sun setting in the beautiful tent with a fine wind blowing over the wavy cloth ceiling again transported me into my childhood. As a kid, we visited my grandparents to help with countryside errands over the summer. One of them was picking up dry grass into hay kind of cones and later driving them into a hay barn with a tractor where we would all sit on this huge pile of hay after a long day of work, sweaty, red in the face but happy, smiling and contented – breeze in the face, straw in the mouth, surrounded by my family. I could swear that I was not just remembering, but I was really there at that time and moment. This feeling started there and was with me throughout my trip to India.
Pitru puja/ceremony for the lineage – It was a magical scenery next to the water tank of Pancha Tirta. Aditya explained to us what to do. People were bathing. It all made this sacred ceremony even more profound.
Even though, as foreigners, we could not enter the magnificent and huge Jagannath temple, we were blessed with the beautiful presence of Patajoshi, the chief priest of the Jagannath Temple. I felt when I first saw him as if he knew me, and I knew him. His gentle smile appealed to me, and I wanted to spend time in his presence. I felt he was much more than a chief priest, a powerful holy presence.
Tota Puri ashram, Sri Yukteshwar samadhi, Konark Temple, Dhauli Stupa, Satsangs with Mohanji – I can’t even remember how much of “golden nuggets” of experiences this event portrayed in front of us. My gratitude once again goes to Mohanji and the organisers. To explain all of it smother the narrative here, but in a nutshell, I felt like I described above – out of the body, blissful and transported to another realm.
On our final day of the retreat, we visited KISS in Bhubaneswar, an education institute that does inclusive education, women empowerment, tribal uplift and sustainable development for over 30000 tribal children. Without me spoiling all of their successes and achievements by describing them, I am attaching a link, as there is so much to learn and appreciate in the enormity of this institution—about – Kalinga Institute of Social Sciences, Bhubaneswar (kiss.ac.in).
I was surprised when we entered the room filled with thousands of little children sitting on the floor and doing OM chanting. They gathered there to welcome Mohanji and hear him speak. I was not prepared for that. Tears started watching this sight, and one can’t describe it with words. This was our last event before we flew to Delhi that afternoon.
After finishing the event, as everyone was returning to their own ways, one suggestion was to keep that feeling and experience from the retreat and head straight home with elevation inside you.
Cherish what you have been given. Travelling elsewhere as we did to Delhi is another level of experience that can’t be combined with a spiritual event like this. Yes, the Taj Mahal was beautiful and Delhi, even if we didn’t have time to really see its beauty, the retreat makes you travel inwards, and the whole idea of such events holds inner travel more important than what you see by your own eyes (which can be delusional as we know from the crow story of Mohanji).
We came home to Ireland on the 4th thinking about where we were, who we were, and where we are now – like coming back in the body after an afternoon sleep.
My takeaway from this trip would be that life is short. Of the many diamonds of truth by Mohanji, one is being present, knowing your purpose in life, and what you can do now between A and B. What one remembers as the most crucial experience in life is not what you see through your eyes but the inner feeling you carry – like my resemblances of India and childhood. I will take from India trip a few such memories, and the feelings will stay with me for life.
India is a place of liberation and peace that leaves us without ignorance, where we unbind from ourselves and our programs in the mind. We should flow and feel life more. The preconceived point of view is blocking our liberation.
Thank you to all who have crossed my path in India, the new and old friends, acquaintances and people I don’t know. We were all there for a purpose, and our short existence there, next to each other, helped with some karmic growth and liberation.
Special gratitude to Mohanji, without whom this all wouldn’t be possible, my new/old friend that I openly welcome in my heart from now on.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 1stJune 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
I wasn’t looking for a Guru. I just wanted that elusive road map to the heart. To that wide, split-open channel through which the source charges. Forcefully. Endlessly. Lovingly. Shining upon every conceivable thing and being. The source of love. God. I wanted that. It was a place I had briefly, powerfully experienced in a dream.
I was 19 then. I’m 46 now. Through the years, the desire for this map waxed and waned but never quite dissipated. Lately, it was pulsating like a deep point of pain. Especially now that I was a parent.
I had always assumed I would be a loving parent.
I am.
But along with love, what I didn’t realize I would also cultivate was a blossoming field of expectations. There’s nothing unconditional about love in the relationships we’re accustomed to in our daily lives. Love holds them together, no doubt, but what it holds turns from desire to expectation to disappointment to resentment in predictable ways, in predictable cycles, repeatedly. And the deepest disappointment, the deepest resentment, is continually, steadily, pointed inward and expressed outward. We judge ourselves harshly and condemn others for it.
But I didn’t know this then. All I knew is, I was tired of being angry. Of being disappointed. Of being furious in love. I tried all manner of meditations and esoteric studies. Each attempt, each avenue I had explored so far, felt like a little vein bearing the pulse of something familiar, something essential. But where was the heart?
In early Autumn 2021, I caught sight of a poster on social media in a language I couldn’t read – someone had written a brief English translation. Two words caught my attention: Self Realization. A person named Mohanji was going to guide folks through 11 days of transformation online. It struck me instantly: this is just what I’m looking for.
But who was Mohanji?
The beloved relative on whose social media page I had seen the poster was a follower, but I had never discussed their engagement with their spiritual mentor. I toyed with the idea. Let it rest. Toyed some more. Before I knew it, the workshop was beginning the next morning. I called my relative, but I couldn’t get through. Not that evening. Not the next day. This was unusual. (Now, as I think back, I chuckle. The leela, the leela.)
By the next evening, I left an urgent message. Finally, I had a response. Calls were made, payments dashed off, and on the third day, I sat at the computer, listening to this bearded man exuding love, humility, and patience. So much love. So, so much love.
It was clear. He was there. In that Godspace. He was channeling pure love. He was Love.
Empowered 1 changed me. It caused me to drop some things easily and overnight for good. Some things were temporary, but the change was palpable.
Several months and a couple of more Empowered workshops later, I recall telling my sister over the phone, “You know, I feel happy for the first time. Truly happy.” Depression is a secret that courses quietly through my family. We don’t talk about it. We just cry silently behind closed doors and ache deeply under broad smiles.
More than a year later, I can say for sure that this happiness is real. That being happy is possible. Even when other emotions rise as they do every day – irritation, disappointment, anger, frustration, the deep undercurrent is one of satisfaction and happiness. Life feels bearable. Enjoyable even. And most significantly, it feels meaningful.
But the anger. It was still there. Nothing had diminished it. It rose as frequently, as powerfully as before. And it swept me off my grounding each time. I was still far from even a glimpse of that place saturated with peace and love.
By the end of Empowered 4, I felt I understood exactly what Mohanji was trying to ingrain in us. If you’d ask me to explain it, I could. Easily. I could see the map now. Clearly, but I hadn’t walked it yet. I didn’t know how to walk it. The practices so far had brought me to a point of deep insight, no doubt – but that subtle shift into actually experiencing the Self, even momentarily, beyond mind, body and ego was proving to be elusive.
Months ago, my local Acharya had reached out as part of an initiative to make a video on how practitioners felt transformed through the practice of Consciousness Kriya. I told her then, “Ever since meeting Mohanji (virtually), I definitely feel transformed. But I don’t notice a shift through Kriya specifically. And I can’t bring myself to make an exaggerated claim – that would feel like a lie.” I respectfully bowed out of submitting a testimonial.
Cue Empowered 5. I couldn’t make it to Serbia to attend the retreat in person. But I committed fully and wholly to participating online. Arrangements were made. People were informed. My partner took full responsibility for everything in our home. I switched off my phone and entered my cave. Doors shut. Ears shut. Eyes shut. The only thing I kept on was the zoom call. I let it stream through all 8 hours each day. Even though there was mostly silence, keeping it on brought in a shared energy with the satsang and a sense of being in Mohanji’s presence.
Day 1 ended. I didn’t feel particularly successful with the practice. I had kept my eyes covered, my ears plugged, and I did the breathing as instructed. But nothing. I felt nothing. No shift.
That night the dreams arose. Vivid. Incisive. Showing me a clear mirror to the things that drive this person called me. Hidden things. Unacknowledged little traits of vanity and pride, desires, and the subconscious projection of a carefully cultivated personality.
On day 2, the breathing was slower and longer. I struggled with it a bit. But I practiced steadfastly – again, with little sense of success. There was no conscious, waking breakthrough. I hadn’t seen my family in two full days. I hadn’t checked my phone in 48 hours. I didn’t know what I was doing. It all seemed a bit pointless. I was weepy and exhausted. And I wanted something to hold on to, something familiar. Again, that night, more dreams. More hidden desires and traits revealed.
Day 3, by now, the dreams were arising during daytime naps as well. (I was waking up at 2:30 am in my time zone to catch the start of the program, so I was quite drowsy by 6 am). For the first time, I felt I was getting the hang of it. Don’t expect any breakthroughs. Just power on. Breathe. Just breathe. No expectations. Just put in the work and connect with Mohanji. The breathing was even longer and slower. At some point, without realizing it, I switched to doing Kriya because it somehow made the breath less laboured. It felt natural.
At some point, I dozed off again, and there they were. More dreams. This time bringing to light issues of shame around certain aspects of my life. Interestingly enough, there was time travel. Beings that existed outside of time (a Master) and from other timelines (some friendly, several hostile) made appearances.
That evening I had every intention of getting to bed, falling asleep, and receiving more insight through my dreams. But I tossed and turned. And every little sound in the house brought me out of my effort to sleep. At some point, the agitation was so high I directed it at my children and partner, accusing them mentally of sabotaging my ‘great spiritual effort’ by walking loudly, resenting them for willfully being in the way of my big awakening with their clumsy footsteps.
There it was. The trap of expectation. Followed immediately by its beloved bedfellow, guilt. This time, during the brief couple of hours of fitful sleep, the dreams revealed some of my hidden fears. This was getting more and more unpleasant.
Day 4, during the morning satsang, I learned that many people hadn’t been able to sleep the previous night. Mohanji smiled mischievously and said, “Me neither”. Aha! (A stab of guilt resurfaced for my resentment towards my family).
Mohanji explained, “What happens is, this whole thing is churning you. Your usual patterns, habits are changed… the toxins are leaving. It’s all connected to the expulsion of toxins”. Mental apologies were beamed off to my beloved family immediately. It wasn’t them; it was me. It always is. The flavour of every experience originates in one’s own mental state. Of course. Didn’t I already know this?
The breathing was even longer and slower. And again, Kriya did the magic. By now, it was dawning on me that there really was something to the cleansing powers of Kriya. Earlier, I had to drag myself to go through the preparatory steps of Kriya – now, I couldn’t wait to do them.
By the end of the day, the first waking realization occurred. Everything had quietened down a fair bit. The inside of my body felt like a vast dark emptiness. Everything else was outside it. Every sound, every physical thing. The only sound that lay within was my heartbeat, pulsing loudly. Boom. Boom. Boom. And further inward was the dot of awareness that was noticing this. Noticing everything.
That’s it. Then it was gone. The briefest moment of cognition.
The whole day, my head felt strange, and my eyesight felt different. Like I was looking out through several layers of reality. This was likely due to wearing an eye mask for most of the day. Sudden re-exposure to light was perception-bending. A potent reminder that one mustn’t always trust in sensory perception or rest in the comfort of seeing things only in certain accustomed conditions. It was incredible how each aspect of Empowered 5 brought in so much insight!
That night I went to bed with fewer expectations. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I was also excited at the prospect of being reunited with my family soon – it was the last day of isolation. I felt so much love and gratitude for them. I missed them. I felt their preciousness so intensely. But I also felt a familiar pain at the imminence of not being in satsang with Mohanji after the next day. Though this time, the tears were not so much from the pain of separation but from gratitude. This time, I was able to fully trust in the ever-present knowing that my Guru, the Guru Tattva, is ALWAYS available in the spiritual heart; that I can access it anytime, anywhere.
This realization has a lot to do with Devi’s group Mai-Tri sessions during Empowered 5. In the past, whenever I had been part of group Mai-Tri sessions, I would eventually feel completely disengaged because of my intellectual discomfort with the heightened emotionality of parts of the practice. The moment I’d hear emotion rising in the instructor’s voice, I’d be jolted out of the experience by a snarky voice in my head. “WHAT?! This is so dramatic! How can this be spiritual practice?!” the voice would say unkindly. That’s it. I’d sit there, eyes closed, fully in judgement mode.
This time, just as I was beginning to feel discomfort from hearing deep emotion in Devi’s voice, something urgently asked me to trust. Just trust the process. That’s all it took. The snarky voice in my head was quietened by the revelation that drama IS the very nature of existence. Of the Divine Mother. Isn’t ALL of it drama? Aren’t we all here, mired in Maya because of the Mother? This is all the play of Shakti, and if She’s sitting here, guiding me Herself, then sit back and bask in it. Feel each bit of the instruction. My deepest gratitude to Devi for her sessions and for bringing the grace of the Divine Mother to our practice during Empowered 5.
The second session with Devi revealed the biggest gift of all. It removed the veil of duality between all the beloved Gurus empanelled in my heart. During one of the early Empowered workshops long ago, I had asked Mohanji, “What if you hold more than one Guru dear in your heart?” and he said, “That’s fine, as long as you’re not connecting to the form.” I couldn’t fully comprehend it then. When Devi guided us to connect with the Tradition during Mai-Tri, even though not all of my beloved Gurus belong to the Datta tradition, I felt each one’s energy melded inextricably with that of the Tradition.
The Tradition was a gateway to my Gurus, and my Gurus were a gateway to the Tradition. I truly felt what it means for all Gurus to be an expression of one Consciousness. Now Mohanji doesn’t just sit with Babaji and Baba in my heart; they transform into one another playfully, one speaking lovingly through the words of the other. They still have their forms, but they are one in love.
That night, the dream was hazy. I was hovering above the ground (not walking on it) with a group of others who, like me, were dressed in white. We were all connected, and there was uniformity in our appearance. I wasn’t even in my current form or body anymore. There was a sense that we were upholding the very fabric of order. Fighting an ancient fight, not with weapons, but with an indwelling strength that was inherently loving. But it wasn’t a happy dream or a victorious one. There was uncertainty and strife on the ground.
It wasn’t surprising when, the next day, Mohanji reiterated the need to create a strong community of brightness and positivity in each region to prepare for an uncertain future. During Mohanji’s satsang that day, I noticed a feeling of agitation rising. The online participants couldn’t have many of their questions read out and answered. Though I didn’t type any questions for Mohanji in the chatbox, many others did. And most of them seemed to be going unasked. Were the onliners being overlooked?
This feeling was short-lived. It soon became clear that this was another instance of Mohanji’s leela. Even though he would occasionally ask if there were any online questions, he didn’t need this drama of physical-world engagement. He was meeting each one of us exactly where we were in our hearts, in our homes, through every channel available to our senses. However, we still needed the drama. And so, he played along, turning to the online coordinator every now and then to check, “Any online questions?”
How could I even entertain a doubt? Of course, I know he knows every heart. On my best days, he’s the one beaming out of mine.
I found EACH of my questions was answered. The moment I felt I needed an answer, someone in the audience in Serbia would raise their hand and out trotted the very words that were in my head, followed by his loving answers. A few weeks later, when I met one of the in-person participants, I grinned and thanked her for asking my question. She laughed, “So it was you! I was wondering who prompted that question because I’m usually too shy to speak in front of Mohanji, but at that moment, I don’t know how the urge to raise my hand took over.”
When Empowered 5 ended, even though I hadn’t yet experienced what I’d been looking for all these years (through lifetimes, likely), I did have the deep conviction that I had placed my first foot forward. Beyond all ideas and notions I had gathered along the way on the ‘how’ and ‘why’, I had taken my first step into actually experiencing this ineffable realm in my waking hours in a way that only this set of mental lenses called me could truly appreciate or comprehend.
A lot of fundamental things became clear in a tangible way during those hours of seclusion and silence. Witnesshood is one such biggie. Thanks to Empowered 5, it isn’t just limited to the times I practice Mohanji’s Feel-the-Feelings process. I find I’m being able to cultivate it in my daily life – with shorter and shorter gaps between occurrence and witnessing.
I’m able to see the cycles and patterns of unlove and closed-heartedness in tense interactions. I’ve become quicker at accepting the role of personality and conditioned defensiveness at these moments. Because of this, I’m also quicker to seek the ever-outheld hand and love-drenched embrace of my beloved Guru at such times to make a rapid recovery and to make amends that were beyond the reach of my ego earlier.
I’m deeply flawed, but I’m beginning to get past the frustration of its endless drag. Because when the weight of the ego gets too heavy to carry, there it is, my beloved Guru’s grace, love, and acceptance. All I need is to let go, allow grace to take over, and retire Sisyphus for a moment.
To briefly loosen the suffocating grip of this karmic garb and let the cool breeze of grace waft in for respite, lightness, and a whiff of what it could mean to be free.
Most significantly, very slowly, I’m beginning to allow others their own perfection. To reduce the distance between my resistance (and consequent suffering), and their roles in being instruments of grace through their karma-garbed perfect presences. I see this now, clearly, though mostly still in hindsight. I’m yet to learn to be present to this Truth in the moment.
I’m not an accomplished cartographer of the heart by far yet, but with my Guru’s infinite grace, I’ve made my first firm step into an arterial inroad.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 23rd February 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
I would like to share my recent experiences with Mohanji in Shirdi Program, 16 – 18th December 2022. As soon as I signed up for the program, I started to face a few challenges and obstacles until the day I reached Shirdi.
At first, I had a tough time getting the passport ready and then went through a messy way of booking the flight ticket. On top of that, my sister, who usually helps me with flight bookings, complained and was very stressed, but I needed her as I was unfamiliar with flight bookings.
Finally, we managed to book the tickets (Kuala Lumpur – Chennai – Shirdi) with my sister’s help and input from the Mohanji Malaysia family, not knowing the challenges we had to face this time. During the journey, we were supposed to transit in Chennai, but unfortunately, the plane could not land due to cloudy weather.
We were told that we had flown round and round 9 times before the plane decided to land at Hyderabad airport. After waiting for an hour or so, we flew back again to Chennai. By then, we had missed the connecting flight, and there weren’t any flights to Shirdi on that day. So we booked the earliest flight available on the 16th, arriving in Shirdi at 10.45 am, and sadly we missed the half-day program, which I was not happy about.
Initially, my plan was to visit the Samadhi Mandir and Dwarkamayi first before attending the program. But this did not happen and I prayed silently in my heart that by Mohanji’s grace, I wished to see him first before going to the program.
Once we arrived at Shirdi airport, we rushed to our hotel, which was near Samadhi Mandir, and when we came out to look for an auto, someone near the mandir handed over two packets of Udi to us. Wow, we were surprised and so happy and took it as a sign of Baba’s darshan. And I thought, as I could not visit him at the Mandir, Baba himself came to me. Thank you so much, Baba.
Then we got into the auto and went straight to the St Laurens Hotel for the program, and when we reached there, we were again surprised. Mohanji was standing outside the hotel entrance, smiling as if waiting for our arrival. We immediately bowed down at his feet to seek his blessings. I was so happy Mohanji fulfilled my wish. We were indeed grateful to be blessed by two great Masters. Thank you so much, Mohanji and Baba, for this wonderful darshan.
Thank you, Mohanji, for your grace and protection as I was able to walk even though I fell and injured my knee a few days before the trip. The pain was there, especially going up the hotel staircase, but it was bearable and also Thank you, Mohanji, for protecting my family members and me on our way to the airport when the car accidentally went onto the oncoming lane, but we managed to make a quick u-turn back to the right lane.
Thank you, Baba, for your love and guidance and thank you, Mohanji, for all these experiences and the wonderful and amazing opportunities I had during the program. And Thank you so much, Mohanji, because all your teachings, meditations, chantings, Consciousness Kriya, Empowered program 1-4, and others which I have attended since 2022 have helped me so much in my spiritual progress. I was able to witness my own strength and stability in accepting the above situation with calmness and with full clarity.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 18th February 2023
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Experiences With Mohanji 