I read the book Kailash with Mohanji – The Inner Kora in 2018, and it struck a deep chord. Thanks to this book, a deep desire arose to visit Kailash at least once in this lifetime, and if it could be done in the presence of Mohanji, what more could one ask for?
I placed a heartfelt and sincere intent on Lord Shiva to shower his grace and make the yatra happen if it was meant to be. As luck would have it, my right ankle had a ligament tear in January 2019, and my leg was in plaster. The doctor strictly advised against any kind of travel, let alone arduous. It was as if Shiva was testing to see if my will was strong.
I met Mohanji in April; I was still limping. My ankle was sore, and the movement in it hadn’t been restored completely. I was in a lot of pain. The fact that I am diabetic delayed the healing process all the more. When I told Mohanji about my desire to visit Kailash that year, he immediately gave a green signal saying, “Ya ya, come come.” I told him about my ankle condition, and he dismissed it, saying I would have no issues. The Guru’s nod was the only assurance I needed.
I also wanted to meet Devi Amma and take her blessings before leaving. When I mentioned the yatra, she said, “It’ll be a success. Shiva himself will hold your hands and guide you during the parikrama.” My eyes were filled with tears, and my heart with immense joy.
The first glimpse of Manasarovar and the great Mt. Kailash is still fresh in my mind. A deep sense of calm sweeps over oneself. The dip was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. The chilling water cuts through the bones and the lifetimes of baggage. Without the Guru’s grace, it’s certainly not possible for the whole lineage to be blessed thus. The lightness I experienced post the dip was immeasurable.
That night I was also blessed to witness divine beings taking a dip in the Manasarovar. It was as if hundreds of lamps were lit and sent around floating on the holy lake. I had goosebumps, and my hair stood on end as I watched with awe this divine event. The parikrama began, and I could still not believe I was on Kailash’s holy ground. My heart was filled with gratitude for everything – Kailash’s air, the lush terrain on the first day, my enthusiastic sherpa, Kimchi, and my pony, Thaotholo, for carrying me on its back.
The normally fearful me had full faith in Shiva and Mohanji that I’ll be safely carried around. There was not an iota of fear in my heart. At regular intervals, my sherpa would keep pointing in a certain direction and show me, Kailash. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t see it. I kept craning my neck in all directions but to no avail. After a couple of hours, I finally gave up and thought, “Whenever Shiva wills it, I’ll see it.”
It was around 5:45 PM when we reached the accommodation where we would stay put for the night. As I was alighting from the pony, my sherpa literally screamed in my ears, “North face! Now you see?”. When I looked, this gigantic mountain was right in front of my eyes – the north face of Kailash. There was no way I couldn’t have seen it now. It was there. I felt I could walk some more and touch it with my hands – the Kailash. I was looking at it.
I forgot all about hunger, my low sugar and the painful ankle. All my exhaustion was gone. I went down on my knees and prostrated with my entire body, heart and soul. It felt like the most natural expression. When people spoke of unconditional love, I always wondered what it felt like. Now I knew. My heart expanded, and there was nothing but love and lots of love. I slept like a baby that night.
The harsh, rocky terrain on day two starkly contrasted with the lush terrain on day one. It was also an extremely difficult one. I knew if my pony faltered even one bit, I would be resting in the laps of Kailash forever. It was the day I thought nothing was going right for me. I neither had a proper breakfast nor could I pick up my water bottle because my sherpa hurried me in the morning. The fear of low sugar kept lingering at the back of my mind. Midway, I was hungry and thirsty.
On reaching the highest point of day two, Dolma La Pass, I thanked my pony profusely for safely bringing me there. The view was stunning, and the energy was pure. While everyone was contemplating whether or not they should be climbing down towards Gauri Kund, I was gripped with the fear of having to walk down the next few miles sans my pony. It’s a steep climb down, so everyone is made to get off their respective ponies. I prayed, offered my respects to the Gauri Kund from afar and started the climb down.
If I were to recall the most difficult day of my life, this one would top the list. I was famished, thirsty, and exhausted, and my ankle was killing me. Every passer-by would hand me candies and sips of water at regular intervals but to no avail. My will was dying down, and I questioned my decision to undertake this yatra while being so hugely unfit. When I was at my lowest, I suddenly heard my husband calling out to me.
I barely crossed paths with him twice during the three days of the Parikrama. He handed over an extra bottle of water he had which was filled with fresh water from the streams flowing nearby. A sherpa kid accompanied him. That kid was full of life and enthusiasm, and the brief five-minute meeting charged me up. Shiva brought them to me when I needed them the most. One is in a group and yet alone. Kailash is an individual journey in so many ways.
Being thus pepped up, I continued walking. A little further came a spot which was so steep that I had to keep anchoring either of my foot on one spot, so the other foot could find a footing. I was now in so much pain that I began crying quite visibly. My sherpa kept encouraging me, holding onto my hands firmly. At one point, I suddenly twisted my injured ankle. I heard a loud crackle, and my heart skipped a beat. I stopped and took off my shoes to inspect the damage.
When my mind started racing, thinking of options for people to airlift me, I realized there was no pain. I was shocked to see that the pain and swelling had also vanished. I couldn’t believe my eyes and was laughing hysterically. My sherpa was perplexed. I’m certain he must have thought I was losing my mind.
Tears of pain were transformed into tears of gratitude. I have no idea what transpired within my body. All I knew was that Shiva had healed my foot just like that. A miracle had unfolded right in front of my eyes.
Day three was a breeze. On completing the parikrama, when I prostrated, my mind was blank. I was thoughtless. Tears streaming down my face, I was speechless. No words can do justice to the exhilaration I experienced. As Devi Amma said, Lord Shiva held my hands and helped me complete the parikrama. My sherpa, Kimchi, was my Lord Shiva.
I am immensely grateful to Lord Shiva, Mohanji, Devi Amma, my sherpa, my pony, my fellow yatris, my family, my ancestors and the entire universe, for this wouldn’t have been possible without their blessings. As Mohanji says, all one needs are complete unconditional surrender to Lord Shiva and the sincere chanting of “Om Namah Shivaya” on this journey. Everything else is taken care of.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 6th July 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
It’s been said that a trip to Kailash Mansarovar is the ultimate pilgrimage for the spiritual seeker. It’s also been said that you can’t really visit that space unless there’s an invitation from the divine, no matter how hard you try. But try, you must, if there’s even the smallest ember of intention and longing burning within you; a longing to behold and experience Mt. Kailash with your own eyes and all other senses and to take a dip in the mystical lake Mansarovar.
Furthermore, making this trip of a lifetime with a living master is something only a select few will get to experience. I had the infinite blessings to undertake this journey with my Guruji, Mohanji, in 2019.
This isn’t a journey for the casual tourist with a doubting and sceptical mind though doubts and hurdles of various sorts will arise for even the most determined seeker. This is also not a comfortable and cosy retreat or a hike in the exotic Tibetan plateau, but rather a journey that’s guaranteed to shake your inner attachments loose. Isn’t that what you really want?
Depth of your faith, conviction, and surrender to your Guru/Deity/God/inner self will be the primary factor determining how you flow through this physical journey, not your physical fitness. However, it doesn’t hurt to have a certain basic fitness level. I saw much older (with non-ideal body profiles) steadily flowing through the three-day journey more gracefully than younger and much fitter people who struggled or were even unable to complete the parikrama. It’s not a race course meant to compare or compete with anyone or anything outside of you. As Mohanji concisely put it, what gets you through this journey is simply: ‘Om Namah Shivaya‘.
With that said, it’s not all serious and scary spirituality! From a visual perspective, the landscapes you’ll see throughout the entire journey are absolutely fascinating and a must-see in your lifetime – from the culturally rich and dense sensory stimulus of Kathmandu and mountain landscapes to the barren and desolate vistas of Tibet at 10,000+ feet above sea level.
A couple of days that you spend reaching the shores of Mansarovar before starting the three-day parikrama helps acclimatize to the high altitudes that we sea-level folks aren’t used to. The staff and helpers of the entourage ensure you are well-fed with tasty vegan food and taken care of in general throughout the trip.
There are numerous supernatural experiences well documented at Lake Mansarovar by many people, and you could easily look them up. I’ve seen things I couldn’t believe with my own eyes, and usually, the mind rejects even your own experiences due to various limited concepts and frames it’s used to. Your mileage might vary, but Lake Mansarovar is a place to truly experience, especially in the wee hours of the morning!
The entire journey and experience are a masterclass in humility, introspection, and truly letting go. You’re headed towards finding the deep silence from which all noises and existence arise; if you’re mentally prepared for that, this is a lifetime trip. You’ll start seeing the fruits of this journey in the months and years to come in a deeply subtle way. The acceleration you get in your spiritual journey (not material progress) is real and phenomenal if that’s what you seek.
“Nobody walks away empty-handed from Kailash”, Mohanji says. That couldn’t be truer in my own experience. Don’t rely on others’ experiences; have your own, as that’s the only one that counts in your journey.
Lay down your fears, doubts, and insecurities at the feet of your Guru, God, or self and go forth to experience this magical journey of a lifetime called Kailash. When you surrender and do what you’re supposed to do without any worries or doubts, it’s the job of your Guru to take care of the rest.
Going on this journey with an incomparable and realised master such as Mohanji, who’s graced us with his physical presence in our lifetime, is a privilege only a few will get to truly experience. Grab the opportunity if it lands in front of you and if you feel the calling to Kailash. Your future self will be profoundly grateful to you.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 15th June 2023
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
Traveling to Kailash was never in my bucket list until a few years back. I had heard many experiences of various devotees and had even read the book, ‘Kailash with Mohanji’ in bits and parts. It was mesmerizing to read and hear about Kailash and the ‘Kailashis’ but nothing stirred me enough to consider my trip to Kailash; probably Shiva did not consider me eligible at that time. Kirti Khandelwal, a beautiful member of Mohanji Family from Pune would always nudge me, “Didi, you must go to Kailash,” and I would brush it aside thinking I am not physically or psychologically fit enough.
It was again in 2018, I had to go on an official trip to Rajasthan for a fortnight when Kirti reminded me about considering my trip to Kailash. She also asked me to read the book ‘Inner Kora’ which is a compilation of the experiences written by the devotees who were fortunate enough to circumambulate the inner Kora of Kailash along with Mohanji. She thought that reading the book would inspire me to consider the Kailash yatra as it had done to so many others. Incidentally, I had this book with me since the 2017 Rishikesh retreat where Mohanji himself had blessed and given me this book; but I could somehow never even open the book till then. So, the book accompanied me during this Rajasthan tour of duty. Once I started reading the book, I found it fascinating and in no time I was devouring page after page. As I was nearing the end of the book, the yearning to be there in Kailash was taking shape inside me. By the time I finished the testimonials of the other ‘Kailashis’, this yearning had turned into a resolution. My mind was all ready to be a part of this ‘Journey of a lifetime: Kailash with Mohanji.’ I believe that this was my ‘inner calling.’
Having decided to be a part of this journey, the process was set into motion. Kailash being in China; I being in the Indian Armed Forces, official permission had to be sought to travel abroad. But, before this permission, the permission of our very own ‘Shiva’ had to be taken to confirm my eligibility to step on the holy land of Kailash. The permission came in the form of a reply to my text message to Mohanji – “Go ahead”. The grace flowed. The official permission was a cakewalk. It was much later that I was made aware of the application of one of my seniors who had also applied for a trek to Kailash, with some other group, which was promptly rejected. The grace really flowed for me.
With the actual dates of travel creeping in fast, came the excitement and also doubts. Excitement is self-explanatory, but doubt started filling me and consuming me. I was afraid. “Will I be able to manage the trip?” This was bolstered by the fact that I never considered myself to be physically fit and enduring. I could barely jog for a short distance before slowing down to a walk. But the resolution to give it my best shot prompted me to build up my stamina. I started my endurance building with long walks and jogs. But these runs were irregular both due to commitment at work and, at times, procrastination. The only regular thing I was doing in that period was ‘surrendering’. I would surrender to my Master, Mohanji, and to the Master of the Universe – Shiva. I would say, “If you have called me, I am sure it is only you who can make me sail through”. My husband and my daughter were also very supportive and encouraging throughout the preparation process and their role in my determination cannot be belittled.
Time flashed by and we were in Kathmandu on 5th August 2019 to commence our yatra. It all started with a beautiful evening ‘satsang’ with Mohanji and meeting the other enthusiasts from all over the world; a greater part of them not known but were soon going to become like family.
Being a doctor, my duty for the trip was assigned and I was briefed by Dhritiman Biswas, whom we fondly know as DB, about my role as a doctor to the group. He also made a statement that day, “Your hands are going to be really full as we proceed”. I really didn’t understand the weight that the casual statement carried till I finished my Kailash Parikrama.
The ensuing day at Kathmandu visiting temples and bonding with the other co-travelers was indeed joyful. The helicopter ride to cross the border was mesmerising but the long road journeys on the bus and staying at different destinations every other night was getting all of us out of our comfort zones.
We reached Keyrung through an exciting helicopter ride and the Indian pilgrims were fortunate to reach a day earlier as the crossing-over formalities were smoother. We rested and relaxed before our international counterparts joined us the next day. The highlight of this stay was the impromptu satsang with Mohanji which commenced at 9:30 pm at night and culminated at 00:30! What a beautiful session we had; questions answered and blessings showered.
The arduous journey was yet to begin. As we ascended in altitude and the long drives on the bus started, many of us started getting sick. Motion sickness, headaches, nausea: a few ailments which were common to all. I was not immune to any of these (doctors get ill too) but an invisible grace and energy kept me going and encouraged me to help people with small and big ailments. The altitude was already taking a toll on all of us and this was evident at Saga. Along with Riana, a beautiful soul from South Africa who had participated twice before in this sacred journey, I took a round of all the rooms checking on everyone. Some were down with headaches, some with breathlessness and others anorexic. The whole group was spread all over the hotel on different floors and believe me; we both were going from one room to another without any difficulty. The ‘voltage’ for this was being provided by the source. My responsibility as a medical care-giver to the Kailash family was very different from the specialty I practice, but what I was doing at that moment felt new but strangely familiar. A feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment had already settled in, not knowing what lay ahead.
Another arduous journey with both morale and health going up and down, we reached the banks of Mansarovar: Our first destination…
In spite of the happiness and satisfaction of landing on the holy land; most of the group members were not really well that night. I was called by Mohanji, instructed to take a round of all the rooms and meet all the members of our family and look into their health. Most of them were under the effects of high altitude and the resultant hypoxia. The oxygen levels of a few were really down and we administered oxygen to them. The altitude was already taking a toll on a few. The next morning everyone was very excited about the dip in the holy lake: a dream of every Hindu. However, due to the new policy by the Chinese government, we were prohibited to do so. We were sad but acceptance is what we have been imbibing since we joined the Mohanji family. We were all given our share of water to bathe and we loved every moment of it when all the members were helping each other with the ice-cold serene divine water chanting ‘Om Namah Shivaya.’
In spite of the ups and downs, each of us was full of gratitude to the divine, and our Master for getting us to this holy soil and being with us physically and spiritually too. I was beckoned every now and then by my comrades due to their ill-health and never once did I get overwhelmed, moving from one place to the other. The purpose of writing this and reiterating the same facts is just to highlight that my journey to Kailash was for this larger purpose. Gratitude to my Master, my Guru. My first-aid kit which I was carrying with me was made full use of, and I was thanking my husband who is also a doctor for cajoling me to carry more of the medicines. Again, I don’t take any credit for this because I knew I was being facilitated and empowered by Mohanji to do this job. Had I ever imagined that my profession would be made use of at 18000 feet? Gratitude again to Shiva….
The next morning at Mansarovar I got up feeling really sick, feverish, splitting headache with hardly any energy. After freshening up, as I got out of my room, Rajesh Kamath told me, “Big Boss is calling you.” He meant Mohanji. His tone was not too assuring. I started wondering if I had faltered anywhere. Let me be frank; feeling a bit apprehensive, I went to Mohanji’s room. He looked at me and said, “Colonel, I want to tell something to you. Listen very carefully. You will be compassionate towards everyone when it comes to helping and treating people but you will not be sympathetic. Do what is correct and I am with you. Don’t listen to anyone when it comes to professional advice.” He was very stern when he said this. I did not understand an iota of the connotation of his words and just nodded in affirmation. He said again, “Do you understand?” I just said, “Yes.” I also told him that I was not feeling too great that morning. He said, “I know it.” He asked Ivana, a beautiful Mohanji Transformation Method practitioner, and an accomplished person, in an assertive tone to do a session for me and build a ‘Kavach’ (an armour) around me so that no negativities or physical strain affects me. Believe me, that Kavach was indeed an armour which made me last the entire Parikrama.
After Mansarovar, we were to embark on our most solicited journey: the trek around Mount Kailash. All excited, the whole group assembled at the ‘Yam Dwar’, which marks the starting point for the circumambulation. It is said that at this sacred site, we have to leave our past behind. As we cross it, we begin a new life all over again. Some on ponies and some on foot like a bunch of small kids embarked on the first day of the Parikrama. Everyone was assigned a pony and a porter to assist in the trek.
From now on, everyone had to be on their own, walking at their own pace; walking, soaking in Kailash, chanting mantras, or just being with themselves. The terrain was difficult but the view and the serenity were breath-taking. The other beautiful aspect was the bonding with the porter and the pony man. After a couple of breaks, the 12 km trek culminated in Dirapuk where we visualised what we were striving for: the North Face of Kailash. It seemed we were in the lap of Shiva’s Abode. Each and every one of us was beaming and gleaming with delight, happiness, and gratitude. It seemed we were so close to the holy mountain. After we had parked ourselves and our luggage in the assigned rooms, a few of us got out to climb a small uphill area to have a closer view of Kailash. Some were clicking pictures and others sat chanting and meditating. Along with my sister Nikunj who was also there for the Kailash yatra, after a few pictures to commemorate our victory of the first lap, we sat down to meditate and listened to ‘Shiv Kavacham’. It was indeed an out of the world experience.
Suddenly I heard someone calling out for me fervently. Someone from our group was really sick and I was asked to go and attend to her. I rushed down the hill to reach her room. She was lying on the bed, looking very pale and even cyanosed (bluish discolouration). Her heart was beating very fast and the oxygen levels were very low. After examining her, I was very sure she had suffered an acute insult due to hypoxia. She needed urgent medical care. We were not completely equipped to provide any emergency care except oxygen which I immediately started. Sumeet immediately suggested that another group from a different organisation was having a medical camp and that they would be better equipped. Their location was slightly far and that we had to go downhill and again climb up. He asked me, “Doc, will you be able to manage that?” as I had to go and give the medical jargon to retrieve the equipment and drugs. I immediately said, “Yes”. We had to really go downhill and once I had acquired the things climbing up would have been a challenge especially in that emergency, when the time was of paramount importance. Even today as I write, I don’t know from where I got the energy, strength, stamina, and endurance to keep pace with Sumeet and climb up to reach our halt camp. I gave her the emergency drugs, settled her but she needed immediate evacuation.
That is when I had to be firm and assertive. I declared she needs to go down to be taken to a hospital right now. I had to face a lot of resistance. There were many opinions: many felt she will settle down; healing would help her, she has completed the first day of Parikrama and her journey would be incomplete, and so on. But her physical condition was not good. There were senior members in our group with mixed responses but our dear Mamu said we have to do what the doctor says. Everyone was finally convinced, parallelly, arrangements were made for her transportation. It was getting darker. With assistance, we shifted her to the vehicle and from there she was taken to Darchen and admitted to the hospital. In medical jargon, she was progressing from acute mountain sickness to high altitude pulmonary oedema, which if not timely intervened, can be fatal. She was admitted to the hospital for three days and with medical help and above all Shiva’s grace, she was discharged. That is the time when Mohanji’s words dawned on me, “Be compassionate but not sympathetic. Execute what is correct.” It was not me. It was him who was making me take decisions.
The second day of the Parikrama is supposed to be the toughest. It entails a very steep climb, much rarer oxygen, and greater altitude when we cross the Dolma La Pass. Enveloped in the divine energy, with blessings from the supreme Parabrahma, we reached Dolma La Pass. It was enthralling …. It was unbelievable… only one trick did the magic, ‘Om Namah Shivaya”. Then came a new dilemma! At the Pass, we could see the beautiful emerald green Gauri Kund; the divine water where ‘Maa’ the Shakti used to purify herself. Going to Gaurikund is again a daunting task. We all started contemplating whether we could manage or not. I started remembering Deviji’s experience of her climb and descent to Gaurikund. During her presentation, she had categorically mentioned the climb up after Gaurikund darshan was the most challenging. I doubted myself again. Would I be able to make it? My porter and the pony man both dissuaded me but again some inner voice shouted, “You have reached here. Why will you not go to Gaurikund and have a feel of the nectar?” With the other companions, we reached down and were at the banks of Gaurikund. With the mesmerising view of the green water, divinity at its best, we all washed ourselves with the holy water and carried some in bottles for our group members who could not make it and our families back home.
As I was ascending, the thoughts keep pouring. What I had done to get this reward? Blessings from my ancestors, my family, my patients, and above all, our living Shiva, our Guru. Back at the base camp in the evening after the toughest day, we all felt victorious because what lay ahead for the next day was a cakewalk; the last day of Parikrama – the easiest part. We completed our last leg enjoying, smiling, soaking in the place, collecting memoirs, and finally reached Darchen. Once we were in the hotel, everyone was thanking, appreciating, and encouraging me for the medical help which I could provide by his grace and it only filled me with gratitude. Meeting our friend who had fallen critically ill was most satisfying.
At that moment, I earnestly wanted to meet Mohanji who was waiting behind at the hotel facilitating our yatra, giving all his energy to every member connected to him. We were told he had not consumed any food until the time we were back. He is our Father, Mother, Friend, and Divinity in a living form. I asked Madhu if I could meet him. He fulfills all our desires. I was called. As I reached his room, He was sitting on a chair. I fell at his feet. Tears started rolling down…. His words were, “Doctor, you have done an amazing job.” His words stirred the level of satisfaction and victory which probably was even more than the feelings I got on accomplishing the highest degree of my profession. I reaffirmed, “I did not understand the words you had spoken at Mansarovar till I was cornered to take the major decision.” He knows everything which is going to unfold; every word he utters has immense connotations.
I bow at his feet for taking me to Kailash which is indeed a journey of a lifetime and even more than that to do service in this Holy Land….
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 10th August 2020
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
Kumbh Mela was always a dream since childhood and to be able to attend this someday was indeed a big milestone in my life. Due to the grace of the Tradition, I had the opportunity of doing my first Kumbh in the year 2015 in Nasik with Mohanji and again in 2019 in Prayag. I had read about the Kumbh in Prayag in the book ‘The Autobiography of a Yogi’. I would imagine the visuals of how it would be to be there in person but never knew one day I would physically attend one.
Since the time ‘Kumbh with Mohanji’ was announced, I was eagerly looking forward to this yatra (pilgrimage). However, to complete this desire I went through a lot of hurdles for months. Amidst all the circumstances when my wish was fulfilled, I realised that it was purely my Guru Mohanji’s grace which makes sure that all our wishes and desires are fulfilled.
In August 2018, my grandma (94 years of age) had a fall and fractured her hip. Following surgery, her health condition required our full-time care for her. At the same time, I also came to know of a close relative’s wedding planned for February 2019, exactly coinciding with the dates of the Kumbh Mela pilgrimage.
My hopes of doing Kumbh with Mohanji in Prayag came shattering down. Needless to say that I was disappointed but surrendered to my Guru and consoled myself that maybe this was not the time for me. A few days later, I had an early morning dream where I share with Mohanji my desire to attend the Kumbh. Soon after, I heard that the wedding had been advanced by a month and that meant it would have been completed before the Kumbh Mela pilgrimage. I was taken aback and knew that Mohanji had heard me. Although I was elated at the chance of doing the Kumbh with Mohanji, I was still unsure if I could surely make it, as my granny was bedridden and still needed our full-time care.
As the months progressed, we had some more issues in the family front, losing some close relatives. There was a lot of grief and sadness in the family. Amidst all this, I still had the desire to do the Kumbh which got rekindled when I happened to speak with Preethi Gopalarathnam one day in Dec 2018. When I expressed my deep desire to attend the Kumbh Mela with Mohanji to my dad, he encouraged me. Finally, by the end of Dec 2018, I booked my place on the pilgrimage.
Just before starting my journey, one day while caring for my granny and brushing her teeth, she bit my finger hard which later developed into an infection. I noticed swelling and heaviness in my finger accompanied by pain. The doctor put me on antibiotics right away. Normally I am a hyper person but was very cool about this situation. I wasn’t sure if I would get any medical aid at a place like Kumbh but with Mohanji’s grace all was taken care of and I received the required care by the medical facilities available at the Parmarth Niketan camp where we stayed.
Mohanji had even made sure that my travel to Kumbh was taken care of. I had the amazing company of two sisters travelling from South Africa during my train journey from Mumbai.
Even when our train was delayed, we had help from strangers who guided us to get down at the right station. Despite issues with local commuting, we finally arrived at our destination safe and sound. I was so amazed to realise how well Mohanji took care at every step making the journey comfortable and making my dream come true.
Immense gratitude to Mohanji for everything that he does for us. My journey to Kumbh was only possible because of his grace. Now I would like to rewind a bit and share what I was going through during the time of the plan to the Kumbh Mela.
I was going through a lot of emotional and mental issues since the end of Dec 2015. My mind kept telling me that everyone around me disliked me. I felt unwanted and I felt that I should keep away from everyone. I went through this negative phase for a long time, alienating myself from those around me. These thoughts were empowering and seemed to be so real. These thoughts were eating me up. I remembered during the Pune retreat, Mohanji telling me that I was possessed by entities, but at that time I did not understand what he meant. It was only during Khumb while listening to someone else’s experience, I could relate to the phase I underwent.
I did many pilgrims/retreats with Mohanji while going through this phase. It was only after the Bosnia retreat, I noticed a transformation in myself and thoughts became more positive.
Right from the first time I met Mohanji, I was unable to speak with him freely, the way others do. I would become tongue-tied when in front of him. I would want to say a lot to him but when in front of him I would get nervous and go blank. A part of me kept telling me I am not worthy to be in his presence and should maintain a distance. Maybe he does not want me to be near him. Hence many times I have lost opportunities of being in his proximity. It is much easier to talk to his picture or communicate with him mentally.
After one such trip to Kurnool, I felt that Mohanji was avoiding me and ignoring me. Every time I met him I would hope that he talks to me like he does with others. Even this time I was hoping he would talk to me, take notice of me. Now when I look back, these thoughts seem so silly.
After this background, now fast forward to the Kumbh.
As mentioned earlier I had hurt my finger and was hoping that at least once Mohanji would enquire about it. Finally, on the day of the homa when my turn came to do pranams to Mohanji (at first I felt he wouldn’t speak with me but he did), he enquired about my finger and made fun of it (I loved him pulling my leg) but as usual, despite wanting to reply, I just kept murmuring as I was unable to speak. But I was happy with the thought that he spoke with me.
Throughout the Kumbh, I had a burning desire to ask Mohanji if he was upset with me, why he ignored me and wanted to apologize to him if knowingly or unknowingly I had hurt him. I also wanted to thank him for all that he had done for me. I had put in a request if I could meet him for a few minutes so that I may convey my apologies to him. Then we were told that he will not be doing one on one meeting but would meet people in groups of 4. Now, I just didn’t know what to say to him in front of others. As usual, I was feeling very nervous before meeting him and was going blank. When I met him, I expressed my gratitude to him with tears in my eyes and got my bracelet and paduka blessed by him. I was finding it very difficult to speak to him. He mentioned to our group that the dip he had with our group was the best amongst the three dips and that he did a lot of mental and spiritual cleansing along with a lot of cleansing for ancestors for some. I somehow managed to tell him that after the Bosnia retreat, the panic attacks that I had been suffering from had stopped. Since returning from Bosnia, I had got these attacks only twice, but the intensity was much less. Earlier, I would choke when I got these attacks, gasp for breath along with spells of giddiness. Mohanji said that he did a lot of cleansing this time.
I remembered that during the Kailash Yatra, it was easy for me to take more than 10-15 dips in the freezing water of Mansarovar lake, but at the Kumbh, after Mohanji poured water on me thrice, I was gripped with the fear of not being able to take the dips. I was shaking with fear and was in tears and then Preethi Gopalarathnam helped me take the dips. Thanks to her I managed to take 5-6 dips. I don’t know what this was but now when I look back, I realise it must have been the cleansing that he did.
After an exhilarating Kumbh trip, we left early in the morning for the Varanasi airport. We had an afternoon flight to catch but keeping the traffic in mind, we left early. At the airport, I connected with a participant with whom I hardly interacted throughout the trip. It was 3 of us sharing our experiences. It was then I understood the significance of sharing experiences and why Mohanji emphasizes on the same. I got answers to many questions that were bothering me. I realized that I was not the only one who was getting these thoughts of being ignored. Others have also felt the same. I was surprised at myself for the answers I came up with for questions such as why I felt Mohanji was ignoring me. I realized it was he who was talking and not me. I was just the medium. He gave replies to my queries through me and that too in the presence of those who felt the same. Many more thoughts that were common with others were cleared.
Since my return from the pilgrimage, I feel my awareness level has increased. I only pray that this is a permanent transformation and not temporary. Only time will tell. For me, the Kumbh experience was more about understanding myself and my thoughts. I feel more positive now. I feel I am more accepting of others and I am not holding on to the past. All thanks to Baba and Mohanji for their grace. Immense gratitude to the Masters of our Tradition.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||
Compiled, Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 20th February 2020
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
On 11th August, when Mohanji was in Manasarovar, it was unbearably hot in Chennai. I read Chapter 4 of Sripada Srivallabha Charitaamrutam and drifted off to sleep. During that short nap, I had a dream. In that dream, Murali (my husband) and I are at the Sripada Srivallabha temple. I suddenly see Deviji and then immediately look for Mohanji. He sees me, l take off my slippers and run to Him. He was wearing white. He blesses me, gives me a prasad made of banana and jaggery. He offers another prasad that appears like ghee (clarified butter), asks me to eat it and then gives me a few drops of milk – yet another prasad. All the prasad that I receive are normally given in temples in South India, particularly Kerala. Immediately, in a small copper vessel with a snout, He offers water (tirth). He then pours a little water on the vibhuti in my hand and asks me to put it in my mouth. He chants something and explains the meaning in Malayalam. I don’t understand the language and I ask Him repeatedly to say it in English. He struggles to do it. I am surprised and I ask Him the reason for His struggle with English. I hold His right hand. He looks at me, doesn’t say anything but continues to explain in Malayalam. I try to clarify a few words in English. He nods. (I don’t remember anything of what He explained). I soon realise He is in an expanded state and is trying to tell me something.
I then call my husband to get prasad from Mohanji. When my husband approaches and takes prasad, I look at the man giving prasad, it is not Mohanji. Mohanji has moved further away and my husband goes to Him. Mohanji greets him and blesses us with akshhadha (rice grains).
Towards the end of the dream, Mohanji appeared dressed in black with a black bandana on His head and looked piercingly at me with dark intense eyes. To me, this vision depicts the power of Mohanji, who is beyond forms and is the Supreme Consciousness.
This was the first time that Mohanji appeared in my dream. It was on an auspicious day, a day when our Kailash yatris were with Mohanji in Manasarovar. We received pictures from Kailash that evening and Mohanji was dressed in white! The eyes that I saw in the picture were exactly what I witnessed in my dream!
Pada Puja for Mohanji
Incidentally, with Mohanji’s blessings, on 15th August, I did visit a Datta temple (Sripada Srivallabha Anushsthan) at Gokarna, Karnataka, India that was built by Sripada Srivallabha, soon after the dream.
I have always felt disheartened when reading about the dream experiences of others and wondered why Mohanji never appears in mine. With this dream, I understand that He appears in all forms when the time is right and the connection is strong!
The following question and Mohanji’s response are very relevant here.
Q: I dreamt of you, is it possible to connect with you even through dreams?
Mohanji : So any dream; you interpret it as you wake up, “It’s a dream, I met Mohanji,” may not be a dream. It could be a connection which we had astrally.
I feel so happy that I am connected with Mohanji’s consciousness and received His blessings in such a beautiful way. Mohanji always reaches out to each one of us, showering us with His Grace.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||
Compiled, Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 22nd August 2019
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
Kailash pilgrimage 2019. Mohanji and a group of nearly 100 yatris were at Lake Manasarovar. Thousands of miles away in a small part of South Wales, UK, in the Skanda Vale ashram, NellyAnne, Subhasree and Moushumi were doing Consciousness Kriya in the presence of the Lord Dattatreya idol. Their deep connection to Mohanji and their practice of Kriya with conviction and consistency had blessed them with incredible visions and experiences!
Incredible is the grace of Guru Mandala that through these visions of Mohanji in Kailash, it was proven yet again that when Mohanji travels on a pilgrimage, He just doesn’t take people physically, He takes everyone connected to His consciousness spiritually too!
Read on to feel the power of this grace!
By NellyAnne Noronha
I had registered my application for the Kailash trip 2019 with Mohanji. However, due to unavoidable reasons, I couldn’t make it. I accepted this as divine will and decided to go with the flow. I was reassured by Preeti Duggal ji, a core member of Mohanji family, that with Mohanji’s grace and blessings I will be able to experience the entire pilgrimage despite not being there in person. This assurance reminded me of Mohanji’s words during the satsang in Pinner in 2018 (my first meeting with Mohanji physically),
“Everyone present here is not because of a coincidence, We have all been connected for many lifetimes.”
Connection to Guru and the Tradition is shown in many ways. Another form of reassurance I received was through a sudden visit to a Sai temple in Wembley. This was certainly the call of Sai Baba! The visit to the temple became very special as unexpectedly I was able to be a part of a very sacred ritual as well as I receiving a shawl that was used to adorn Baba’s idol as a gift! The following day I saw a photo of the chief Priest of Shirdi offering a garland to Mohanji at the first meeting of all the Kailash Yatris in Kathmandu. This was indeed a reminder of the statement of Preeti Duggal ji. Experiencing Kailash Yatra with Mohanji!
The Master continued to shower his grace when I got a chance to join the ACT Foundation team for the Skanda Vale charity food stall on the 10th and 11th of August. On the 11th of August, there was also a special function of the reunion of Lord Muruga with his consorts.
After closing our food stall, Subhasree, Moushumi and I reached the hall where there was a multitude of people already sitting and enjoying the devotional bhajans. In a miraculous way, all 3 of us got some space to sit next to the Sisters right in front of the altar. We realised this was none other than Mohanji listening to the true cries of love and showering his grace on us to fulfil all our desires. Suddenly the Swami invited all 3 of us along with the community members and a few other volunteers to participate in the special ceremony of sprinkling petals of flowers to Lord Muruga and his consorts while chanting the auspicious 108 Namavali. This was beyond the ordinary and I knew from the bottom of my heart that it was Mohanji and the Guru Mandala’s blessings for us. We were closely participating in such a powerful and auspicious ritual, while the other devotees with Mohanji were at Kailash Mansarovar! The grace didn’t stop there. We even got the chance to join the procession with fire lamps in our hands going inside the main temple and we witnessed a very powerful aarti offered in the main Garbhagriha. During this I saw several Divine beings appear as beautiful lights moving up and around, dancing to unheard celestial music playing in the background, while Mohanji was blessing the devotees on the banks of Kailash Mansarovar.
I was deeply touched and moved to tears as I went through these divine experiences. This was no less than a direct pilgrimage to Kailash! These were truly blissful and gratifying experiences.
After these sublime experiences at the temple, we decided to visit the Lord Datta temple. The place was so serene that we all decided to do Kriya sitting in front of Lord Datta. Suddenly, I noticed a light shining from the Datta idol which was then replaced by the smiling face of Mohanji.
This was the most blissful experience for me as I felt Mohanji himself reassuring me of our connection, and my presence with him and the other devotees in Kailash.
Mohanji at the Datta Temple in Skanda Vale
My sincere gratitude to the Divinity and the entire Guru Mandala for such grace and blessings.
By Subhasree Thottungal
11th August 2019. A very auspicious day. While Mohanji and about a hundred devotees were at Kailash Manasarovar, we were in Skanda Vale during the same weekend, doing a charity food stall. The entire Skanda Vale was in bliss in celebrating the special function of the reunion of Lord Murugan with his consorts. The function brought so much awareness of the divine presence and high energy in this powerful place. I felt Mohanji’s presence there every moment. Mohanji and Skanda Vale have a special equation, which I have realised with some divine awareness, as narrated in my earlier blog, ‘The truth beyond revelations’.
Soon after the ceremonies inside the Subramanyam temple, with heightened energy and deep gratitude, Moushumi, NellyAnne and I went to the Lord Datta’s temple. It’s almost a year (1 year on 15thAugust), since this Lord Datta temple in Skanda Vale had come into existence and Mohanji had done the prana pratishta of the Lord Datta idol! As Mohanji had said at that time, a part of His soul is inside this Datta Idol! Whenever I visit here and see Lord Datta, I feel Mohanji’s presence.
Mohanji doing the Prana Pratistha of Lord Datta in Skanda Vale, 16th Aug 2018
When I reached the Datta temple, I felt the urge to do Kriya there. Moushumi and NellyAnne joined in too. Kriya in front of Datta took me to a different plane altogether. As if I was transported elsewhere! And then appeared this divine vision!
The vision of Mohanji in his white attire, sitting in front of Lake Mansarovar, with lots of people seated around him. The blue water of Mansarovar with tiny waves, blue sky with white clouds showing the presence of many divine beings. Though I could see many human beings, the only face that was clear was Mohanji’s.
When I finished Kriya, for a few moments, my hands were numb. I opened my eyes and looked at Datta’s face.Such a striking smile as if Mohanji was standing there and smiling at me and saying, “You wanted to see me at Mansarovar, right? Are you happy now?”
We all knew that on this same day Mohanji was at Mansarovar with all the other devotees. Mohanji had assured us, we will be with him, in spirit. How true is that!
The vision I had during Kriya showed this through the divine communion with my Guru.
Mohanji in front of Manasarovar, 2019
The very next day, I received a picture someone sent from Kailash, which showed that the previous day, on 11th Aug, Mohanji sitting in front of Mansarovar and devotees around him! Mohanji in his white attire! Such a resemblance between my vision and this photo proved everything! The vision during Kriya was indeed a divine darshan that Mohanji showed me sitting in front of Datta thousands of miles away, but not too far from him, not too far from Kailash. Such grace. Such love from my Guru. Words falling short to describe!
This was not all. I was reminded of such grace happening in two earlier years when Mohanji had been to Kailash. Although I was far away physically, I still had the darshan of Mohanji in Kailash. I must write those two accounts too.
August 2016. Mohanji was in Kailash with about 80 devotees. I had been following the updates regularly. Photos from Kailash were not just beautiful scenic images. They had life and were passing the Shiva tattva energy. The power was such that sitting on the seashore of Lanzarote (a small island, part of the Canary Islands in Spain, where we were on a family holiday), a small hillock just inside the sea, felt like Kailash. “Om Namah Shivaay” chanting came out spontaneously. Suddenly, the clouds above took a circular form. The epicentre lying just above the tip of the small hillock! Morning sun rays piercing through these clouds indicated definitely something divine!
The small hillock in the sea shore of Lanzarote, clouds in spiral above the hillock
Sunrays piercing through the spiral clouds
At that point I had such connection with Kailash, I felt as if I was with Mohanji in Kailash. I thought, next Kailash with Mohanji, I must go.
The year passed. Kailash with Mohanji in 2017 came. However, I couldn’t go! While Mohanji and the devotees were in Kailash in 2017, devotees all over the world were doing a 24 hour long continuous chanting on 16th July 2017. In London, at my home, we were doing the group chanting, during which I had a vision that
Mohanji was standing inside Mansarovar. The water was blue coloured and crystal clear. I then saw all the Gods & Goddesses, Ganesh, Lakshmi, Saraswati and all the other Gods in the sky, showering flowers on him.
This vision was so clear and so divine. After the chanting was over, I shared this vision with everyone and expressed my gratitude to Mohanji for giving me darshan while in Mansarovar.
Two days later, a photo came in with the update from Kailash, the photo of Mohanji inside Mansarovar. This matched the vision I had during chanting.
Mohanji inside the Manasarovar, 2017
My heart was filled with deep gratitude to have received this darshan despite being physically so far away in London!
However, somewhere inside me, I had a slight feeling of guilt. Where did my desire for Kailash go? How did I leave this opportunity to go to Kailash with Mohanji in 2017? A few months later, in November 2017, I got a chance to be with Mohanji in Serbia and I couldn’t hold myself but to express this feeling of guilt to him. The spontaneous answer that came from Mohanji, left me speechless.
“I just don’t carry people to Kailash physically, I carry people spiritually too. You have been to Kailash with me spiritually. Your desire has been fulfilled. Hence no more desire.”
Well, what more did I need to understand?
Indeed Mohanji carried me with Him in 2016 and in 2017 too! This year in 2019, before Mohanji left for Kailash, I had no doubt, I knew Mohanji would carry me with him, along with all the other devotees connected to him. Mohanji’s message for all connected to Him,
“You are inside me. How can you be separate from me?”
filled my heart with gratitude and profound love for the unconditional love and compassion he has for me, for all of us!
Through this vision during Kriya in front of Lord Datta, Mohanji proved this yet again! Not that I needed any proof. But he knows that this naïve heart still desires every single vision of my beloved Guru, physically or astrally! His darshan makes me pure, makes me complete, liberates me from all worldly desires.
I am so deeply touched by the grace that the Tradition and Mohanji shower on me (in fact on all of us), much beyond our expectations and imaginations. My deep gratitude to Mohanji my Guru, and this sacred Tradition that we belong to!
Jai Shree Datta.
Jai Mohanji.
By Moushumi Patankar
On the 10th and 11th of August, my family and I were with the ACT Foundation team for the food seva in Skanda Vale. On the 11th, after attending the powerful reunion ceremony of Lord Subramanyam, Subhasree, NellyAnne and I went to the Lord Datta temple.
When we were in front of Lord Datta, we decided to sit down for Kriya.
As soon as I sat, I felt as if my whole body was rotating in 360 degrees. After a few moments, I saw beautiful lights; blue/light green just like the colour of a beautiful lake, orange/ yellow/gold like bright sunshine or a havan (sacred fire). I then saw many faces. The first face was of my beloved Datta swaroopa Mohanji who was right in front of us, smiling at us. And then a thought, aah so many faces along with Mohanji’s! In the end, just before finishing Kriya I saw Mohanji’s aura!
I realised the vision I had during this Kriya in front of Datta was of Mohanji with the other Kailash Yatris in front of Mansarovar! Without any expectations, without any imagination, Mohanji and Lord Datta graced me with this divine vision, so far away from Kailash.
My deep gratitude to Mohanji for filling every single moment of my life with his grace.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||
Compiled, Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 15th August 2019
Disclaimer:
The views, opinions and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.
We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.
Kailash! To paraphrase Star Trek, it is the final frontier, a place where few people have ever gone before. Eight billion people on the planet and yet only a chosen few are privileged to undertake this amazing pilgrimage. And this privilege comes only through grace – the grace of one’s ancestors, the grace of one’s Master, the grace of Lord Shiva, and the grace of the Guru Mandala (the Masters of the Tradition). Nothing but grace gets one an invite from Lord Shiva.
It is this grace that opens the doors to various experiences on the pilgrimage. It is this grace that keeps one alive in the harshest of environments on this pilgrimage. It is this grace that allows one to successfully complete the pilgrimage. I have seen some pilgrims who feel that they were entitled to receive this grace – wishful thinking that they are special in some way to deserve it. To mistake grace with entitlement can only be termed as sheer ignorance and, without a shadow of doubt, ego and ingratitude of the highest order.
According to Mohanji, a pilgirimage to Kailash is complete when one takes a dip in the holy Manasarovar lake and has a darshan (holy sight) of holy Mount Kailash. Optionally, one can perform a circumambulation around holy Mount Kailash – either via the Outer Kora (circumbulation) route or the Inner Kora route. By the grace of Mohanji, I have been very fortunate to be on the Kailash pilgrimage twice – once in 2014 on the Outer Kora route and once in 2016 on the Inner Kora route.
Like most Hindus, I had heard of the holy pilgrimage to Mount Kailash and Lake Manasarovar. Thanks to an amazing mythology attached to it wherein Lord Shiva stays atop this beautiful white snowy mountain in the middle of nowhere with His family and His army. It could as well be a fairy tale because not many even dream to undertake this pilgrimage unlike the Char Dham (“four abodes”) pilgrimage – a pilgrimage to the four holy sites in India widely revered by Hindus and considered highly sacred to visit at least once in one’s lifetime.
The Kailash pilgrimage is not even visible on anyone’s radar, much less doing it. Even those that wistfully think about doing it feel that it is a pipe dream. And yet here I ended up doing a Kailash pilgrimage with a powerful Master a couple of months after vaguely thinking about doing it. If that is not grace, what is?
Listening to the experiences of a (now ex) colleague who had done the Kailash pilgrimage twice with the Chinmaya mission, got me thinking about doing Kailash. I checked with his contact but they said that they did not have any pilgrimage planned in the near future and would get back to me if and when they do. Out of the blue, I received an SMS from the Mumbai Mohanji center that Mohanji would be in town.
And guess the topic at the satsang (divine discourse) when I entered the room – Mohanji had just asked one of the attendees, Dhritiman (aka DB), to talk about his Kailash experience from 2013. At the end, DB mentioned that the pilgrimage would happen in four weeks at the end of that same month (July 2014). Talk about synchronicity! For me, it was like a huge flashing neon sign that I should join the Kailash pilgrimage.
In spite of the last minute runup, the whole registration process was unusually smooth thanks to Sumit from the organizing team and the invisible grace of Mohanji. It was sheer grace that allowed me to participate in the pilgrimage.
Someone canceled at the last minute opening a slot for me to join the group. The Chinese usually required the group permit to be applied a month or two before the pilgrimage (which would have ruled me out). However, that year, the Chinese delayed the group permit application process to just before the start of the pilgrimage.
Finally, my mind started playing games. Do you really want to go to a pilgrimage where you don’t know anyone? Wouldn’t it be better to use the two weeks to finally do the much-awaited motorcycle trip to Leh and Ladakh (a holy grail for bikers to ride on the highest motorable road in the world)? Finally, better sense prevailed and I decided against the motorcycle trip to join the Kailash pilgrimage.
2014 was a special year for the Kailash pilgrimage– the year of Dev Kumbh which comes once every 12 years. Dev Kumbh is special in that each Kora counts as twelve. Each Outer Kora (a 56km circumambulation around Mount Kailash) done that year got one the benefit of doing twelve Outer Koras and equivalently the twelve whammy of transformation.
This enabled me to qualify for the Inner Kora. So, I “accidentally” ended up doing the Kailash pilgrimage during the best possible year. Amazing “accident” or infinite blessing? You decide.
On the flight to Kathmandu, I bumped into a girl from the Mumbai meditation group who was also doing the pilgrimage. She mentioned that there were around 85 people from around 20 different countries. I balked at the size and diversity of the group. I was expecting the group to be small – around 20-30 people. A vague thought surfaced to hijack the plane, turn the flight back and head back home.
When I reached the hotel, I saw a multitude of people outside the hotel enjoying the traditional Nepalese welcome. Most of them apparently knew each other. Hugs and greetings were being liberally exchanged. The one person I knew in this huge group had disappeared into this overfriendly sea of humanity. I tried my best to dematerialize myself.
I usually feel very conscious in a group setting. Breaking the ice is an ordeal for me because I am not sure what to say. The awkward pauses after the initial greeting are the stuff nightmares are made of. Once I get to know people, I am the loudest one in the room. When people who know me meet people who don’t know me, they get surprised because either group can’t seem to correlate my quiet self and my loud self.
Since there was not much I could do now, I decided to go with the flow. Since I lacked the spiritual abilities to disappear at will or the Harry Potter invisibility cloak, I did the next best thing. I moved over to where the bags were being offloaded and started helping there. Interestingly, this happened to be one of my fun tasks throughout the pilgrimage.
I had volunteered to help out with the pilgrimage and was assigned to daily task of getting the bags ready for loading each morning and unloading and distributing the bags in the evening. Interestingly, this pilgrimage is all about releasing baggage. Much like life, people would initially let go of their baggage, feel empty without it and take it back very soon.
It turned out to be a richly diverse group with all the obvious differences of color, race, religion, culture, nationalities, etc. Yet, it was an amazing group and, by the end of pilgrimage, they all seemed like family.
The pilgrimage felt like a special homecoming where long lost loved ones met after a long hiatus. Subsequently, I have come to expect this at most retreats with Mohanji. Our wider spiritual family reuniting with us and getting every closer, re-igniting the flame formed from the sparks of numerous past life interactions.
Back then in 2014, I smoked heavily. The first thing I did was to find the kindred company of fellow smokers in our pilgrimage group. And I found two active (a Romanian and a UAE born Indian) and two passive German smokers who were only there for the company. We whiled the night away discussing spiritual conspiracy theories over coffee and cigarettes. One of the Germans (henceforth referred to as Z-man) was very interesting.
Z-man could tap in and figure out the past life connections of any two people. He was also sensitive to energies; and had an “eye” that could see and “ears” that could hear. There was a Serbian doctor in our group who, for some reason, I kept referring to as Boris (wasn’t his name). I would apologize and the kind doctor finally told me, “Never mind. You can call me Boris since you like that name better.”
I told Z-man about this Boris episode. He went quiet, closed his eyes and on opening them said, “Russian war. 1800s. You were soldiers. You were younger. He was older. He died before you. His name in that life was Boris.” Such interesting “factoids” would be served at a moment’s notice by the Z-man!
Back then, I was a spiritual greenhorn with energies, visions and such amazing happenings in the parallel spiritual reality. Still am! The Z-man was my guide helping my “blind” self understand the import and magnitude of the spiritual occurrences that were unfolding during the pilgrimage.
He was instrumental in unravelling, to me, the significance of the pilgrimage. Post Kailash, he also helped me decipher some of my spiritual experiences. As you can see, the Divine always provides for the spiritually disabled. My sincere and heartfelt love and gratitude to the Z-man.
The day before we were scheduled to leave Kathmandu, my fellow smokers decided to go cold turkey. Inspired by them, I made one feeble attempt to quit smoking the following afternoon during our visit to the Pashupatinath temple in Kathmandu. I left my packet of Indian cigarettes and the lighter on the wall near the temple and threw a conciliatory hopeful prayer in the direction of the Lord Pashupatinath (Lord Shiva) to take care of the addiction.
My resolve was steadily weakened and eventually undone by the evening as I headed out to the bar in search of cigarettes. Thus, began my parallel experimental odyssey into the murky world of Nepali and Chinese cigarettes through the pilgrimage. The ones where the brands are recognized by color and the potency by how the smoke burns on the way in.
A landslide happened in the countryside the day we were supposed to leave Kathmandu. This took place exactly between Kathmandu and the Chinese border. The landslide broke a dam and almost 500 people died that night. The tour operators informed all Kailash groups that roads leading to the Friendship bridge had been devastated effectively cancelling the pilgrimage.
No pilgrimage and the money paid would be forfeited since it was caused by “acts of God” circumstances. Mohanji told Sumit that cancelling the trip was not a solution in his Tradition and tasked him to find alternatives. Sumit acted quickly and took a decision, which was backed by Mohanji, to engage helicopters at an extra cost to pilgrims and fly over the impacted area to get to the other side.
It took a whole day of back-to-back sorties to get the entire group safely to the other side. After our last sortie, these helicopters were recalled back to assist with the emergency and were not available for general purpose usage. We literally made it through the skin of our teeth. Remember, almost all pilgrims from other groups were still stranded in Kathmandu. Isn’t this a sheer miracle?
In spite of smoking heavily all the way through the pilgrimage in high altitude environments, I hardly faced any breathlessness save some teething acclimatization issues on the first day at Nyalam. I breezed through the first day of the circumambulation of Mount Kailash and blazed all the way up to Dolmala pass on the second day. Dolmala pass was the highest point of our pilgrimage and the trek up to the pass was supposedly the hardest part of the pilgrimage.
I was so proud that I had reached Dolmala pass comfortably despite my smoking habit. I decided to celebrate with a cup of noodle soup and entered one of the tented restaurants. I noticed Mohanji and some of the group were already sitting there and joined them. After a while, they left and I proceeded to enjoy my noodle soup.
As the noodle soup spread it’s warmth through my body, I decided to spend some more time resting. Time went by and I realized that I was just sitting there. I was glued to the wooden bench. I had no interest to get up and proceed with the trek ahead. I just sat there watching everything around me. It felt like eternity. I struggled to do something but I was paralyzed.
Suddenly, I heard a voice from within saying, “Run!” Here, I couldn’t even get up and something within was asking me to run. I shook my head. And then, the voice pronounced even more powerfully, “Run! Run! Run! Just run” Something took hold of me and, as if pushed out, I jolted off the bench and started running out of the tent and across the trails leading downhill from Dolmala pass.
In those high altitudes, people walk slower to conserve energy and here I was running through the trails in heavy army boots like a crazed mad man. Must have been quite a sight! I kept running for a very long time until I was sure that the inertia and lethargy had left me. I stopped running and continued to walk the trails to Diraphuk, our camp for the night.
That’s when the ordeal started. One turn around the mountain led to another; and then another; and then a new mountain would appear; and the scene would repeat all over again with no end in sight. I was stuck in an infinite loop like in the movie Groundhog Day. To add to my woes, I met the girl from the Mumbai meditation group who was in a terrible shape and was sitting by herself on the side of the trails.
She had all but given up and was preparing herself to get petrified into the surrounding barren mountain landscape. Here, I was struggling to finish the day’s trek and God sends me another struggler for company. And a “tortoise” at that. Reminded me of the Marathi idiom, “Dushkalat terava mahina” (the thirteenth month in the year of famine). Abandoning her was tempting but not an option.
Given that she was doing worse than me, I had to focus on her and how to get her to complete the day’s trek. I prepared for the worst. I had figured that it may be past sunset and possibly way into the night before we get to the camp at Diraphuk. A fuller moon in the sky would ensure that we had enough light along the way.
I buckled in a bit tighter to be ready for the long haul and do whatever it takes to get both of us there. I had to employ every tool in the book to encourage her to take a few steps every now and then. And the elements played their part by peeing on our efforts by raining at frequent intervals and making things just a little bit harder.
In hindsight, her entry turned out to be a blessing in disguise for me. From the top of Dolmala pass, I had zombie walked the whole way till I met her. Because of her, I forgot all my troubles and was provided a strong intent to complete the day’s trek. As we got closer to the camp, she regained her mojo and we walked into the camp by twilight.
And, the same zombie walk was repeated for most of the last day (day 3) of the Outer Kora as well. Mohanji once remarked to me, “You only think you walked Kailash. You were unconscious. Someone carried you.” I have no choice but to grudgingly agree. I know that if it had been left to me, I would never have completed the trek by myself.
All through the Kailash pilgrimage, I felt a deep anguish of being separated from the Divine. It kept expressing itself very strongly several times at periodic intervals throughout the pilgrimage. Like there is an awesome party happening in the neighborhood. You can hear the sounds and see the lights. And you want so badly to be there. But no one invited you and you don’t know where it is happening so you can’t gatecrash it.
And you feel that they don’t want you there. I felt a deep agony for the fall from grace that required me to be born on earth. When alone, I would sing devotional songs, be deeply moved to tears and call out to be taken back from whence I came though I had no clue where that was.
After the first day’s trek, we reached Diraphuk which is the closest one gets to Mount Kailash on the Outer Kora. Mohanji wanted the priest to do a puja at Charan Sparsh (literally “touch the feet”) – considered the feet of Mount Kailash located a 3-4 hour trek from Diraphuk. That year, the Chinese army were denying access to Charan Sparsh.
A few members of our group went to request for permission. I didn’t know it was Charan Sparsh and erroneously thought that we were going to the base of Mount Kailash. I stood alone in front of Mount Kailash and strongly implored that I wanted to be let through to come closer (more like I deserved to).
For some strange reason, I felt I was entitled to go there and touch Mount Kailash. I cried with a deep anguish both within and without. However, we were denied access. So, we had to abandon the prospect of going there. It was not to be. I had deep feelings of betrayal and abandonment at that time.
Like the Godfather “Fredo, you broke my heart” kind of let down. I still can’t explain why I felt that way on that day. But the Master listens to all true cries of love and showers His grace to grant those wishes. This wish found fruition in my Kailash pilgrimage part deux in 2016. To read about my Kailash Inner Kora experience, please check the Kailash with Mohanji – The Inner Kora book on Amazon.
I remember the night vigils when we were staying on the shores of Lake Manasarovar. We were told that divine beings come to take dips in Lake Manasarovar and appear to us as beautiful lights. Mohanji had warned us to watch and pray to them from a distance. He specifically asked us not to interact with them since their high energies could fry our nerves leaving us dead or worse in a vegetative state.
Late in the night and in the wee hours of the morning, we would sit in groups just outside the gates of the compound and patiently wait for them to show up. And show up they did! Bright lights in multi-colored hues. They would radiate a bright luminous glow, increase or decrease in size, change colors, move in all directions – come closer or go farther, go up and down, left and right – flash on and off, come close to the surface and disappear for a while (presumably taking dips in the lake).
You couldn’t mistake them for anything else. In particular, I distinctly remember this group of three with one shining brighter than the rest. They kept flashing in sequence and moving around as if dancing to unheard celestial music playing in the background. A truly blissful experience.
I did have a “surreal” out-of-the-ordinary experience. On one of the vigils, I ended up staying out longer than the rest of the group. The place was so serene that it felt just good to spend some more time out there all alone. Suddenly, I noticed light shining from my right. The place gets hazy and misty in the night and hence the light was diffuse which made the scene all the more surreal.
Imagine my surprise, when I saw a few hazy white beings of light walking around a couple of hundred meters in front of me. They were slightly tall and were walking in a straight line. It looked like a scene from the movie, The Village, when the beings visit the village. I watched them with baited breath unsure whether to stay put or quietly head back.
They were too close and I was already in their presence so I decided to stay put while praying to Mohanji and the Masters to protect me. They walked quietly past me towards the end of the road. Suddenly, there was a commotion as I heard them talking to each other followed by the sound of vehicles revving up to life. They started their vehicles parked in the distance, got into them and left.
My “divine beings of light” turned out to be a group of local villagers. The light was possibly from their headlamps and they were covered from head to toe with blankets (that appeared white in the ambient light) to protect from the biting cold. Stupid people! If only they had parked their vehicles out of sight and hearing,
I would have been convinced of my surreal supernatural experience of bumping into divine beings of light. They ruined my perfect story for future generations on how I was lucky to encounter a group of divine beings and survived to tell the tale.
Throughout the pilgrimage, I got a first glimpse of the Master that was Mohanji. I was in awe of Him and maintained safe distance yet kept meandering close to Him. I was shadowing Him most of the way not really sure what was expected of me or what I expected of Him. I got to observe, first hand, some of the miraculous experiences like His face showing up on Mount Kailash complete with sunglasses and head dress. He told us, “Shiva is teasing me.”
Or when we were massaging his feet on Dolmala Pass, his thighs and calves became as hard as stone and he teasingly enquired if they were like Hanuman’s. In one of the odes to Hanuman, he is referred to as Vajra deha Rudravatar – the avatar (divine incarnation) of Rudra (a form of Lord Shiva) whose body is as hard as the vajra (the thunderbolt weapon of Lord Indra – the king of Gods). Yes, they surely felt like Hanuman’s.
A brief background. Since the start of my spiritual journey, I have felt a deep connection with Mahavatar Babaji and felt his guiding hand. Incidentally, I discovered Mohanji while looking for Mahavatar Babaji spots in Maharashtra to visit during my two week motorcycle trip through Maharashtra in December 2012. I chanced upon Mohanji’s three-part blog post, “Babaji beyond Definitions”. A must read for those who haven’t.
Later, I explored his writings and teachings and also his meditations. I distinctly remember that when I left home for my first meeting with Mohanji, I had the intuition that I would meet my Master. Throughout the satsang, my eyes were glued to his feet. And yet that didn’t feel strange to me either. After the satsang, my mind played its usual tricks and I was not so sure anymore.
After the meeting, I remember telling my friend that Mohanji is good but I don’t think he is my Master. In hindsight, as Morpheus said in the movie, The Matrix, “Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.” I followed his practices quite regularly but never accepted him as my Master. Through the pilgrimage, I was led to consider the possibility that Mohanji could be the One. The question, “Who is my Master – Mahavatar Babaji or Mohanji?” bothered me.
On our return to Kathmandu, I happened to be sitting in front of Mohanji over lunch and, as usual, an informal satsang started as he answered questions asked by the people seated around the table. In response to one of the questions, he answered my unspoken question while looking straight at me. He said, “The Master in front of you is the Master for you.”
“You may want to learn from a ‘higher’ Master but that has no relevance. A student of the first standard may want to learn from a college teacher. But he needs to progress through the intervening standards and reach the collegiate level before the college teacher can teach him anything.”
“A Master can, of course, hand a disciple over to a ‘higher’ Master if he so feels but that is based on his complete understanding of the disciple’s needs. It is not appropriate for a disciple to harbor that expectation since they don’t understand the bigger picture. The Master that is brought to you is your Master.” That put paid to the recurring question in my mind.
Since I was a relative newbie to being around a real Master, I got acquainted for the first time with the different flavors of devotion to the Master. I observed public displays of fawning devotion from many pilgrims and naively took them to be real expressions of love. I felt sad that I lacked the deep devotion within myself compared to what I saw out there. A few months later, most of them disconnected from Mohanji for trifling reasons.
Mohanji, Devi and big M on Kailash north face
They chose to weigh the words of others over the truth of their own experiences. I now realize that one’s outward expressions are never a reliable measure of the depth of one’s connection. However, some like Sumit who preferred to work silently in the shadows, left a deep impression and inspired me to dig deeper and achieve a greater degree of surrender.
The same goes for experiences shared by people at the end of the pilgrimage. Some pilgrims had amazing visions of Shiva and His family or other deities. Some pilgrims had reached a point of perfect peace, bliss, joy and other good-to-be-in states. Some were experiencing perfect stillness and silence. Some released a lot while others were feeling emptiness. Some had become enlightened (ok. nobody said that but you get the drift). I, for one, felt even more confused than I was before the pilgrimage.
Another pilgrimage experience. The Manasarovar lake was very cold when we entered to take our dips. During my first dip, I found the fellow pilgrim next to me chanting the Lord’s name loudly in a continuous stuttering repetition. His body was also shaking wildly. He was not very responsive and I felt that he was in a very deep trance. Probably in communion with the Lord. I decided to discontinue my dips to watch over him and help him back.
He was in this state for a while as I stood with him and held him steady. After some time, he hinted that he wanted to head back. I held him firmly and guided him back. As we came closer to the shore, he started collecting stones excitedly and also handed me some. I figured that spiritually imbued objects become more apparent in a higher state of consciousness.
Anyways, I helped him back, got him into some warm clothes and headed back to complete my dips. The next day, he sought me out and thanked me for helping him. He said that his body froze in the icy waters and he was unable to move. The chanting and the shaking were his involuntary reactions to the chilling experience. So much for my awe at being fortunate to observe one in an exalted state.
I now realize that experiences are just indicators given to seekers to suggest that they are headed in the right direction. The reason they are given and the manner in which they are given have significance only to the seeker who is experiencing. Hence, it does not make sense to compare our progress based on other people’s experiences. In some cases, the experiences are just elaborate illusions constructed by the mind to entertain itself. One’s transformation is the only true metric of one’s progress.
Life after Kailash was never the same. I attended the Rishikesh retreat with Mohanji later that year in December. Over the months, I had the grace to travel with Mohanji several times. I disappeared from office so regularly that people in my office started joking that I worked between vacations. Slowly but surely the spiral loop of my connection with Mohanji kept getting closer and closer.
Exactly a year after Kailash, I decided to quit work, a day before my birthday, to be with Mohanji for good. I wanted to be free (of the corporate rat race) on my birthday. The interesting part was that it was a very natural process. Not easy but natural. Mohanji suggested that I continue for one more year so I have time to decide before quitting. But I had had enough by then and chose to cut the cord immediately.
The Kailash pilgrimage effected a major transformation in my life and set me firmly on the path. Hence, I have nothing but the highest respect for the Kailash pilgrimage. For me, the choice to do the Kailash pilgrimage is the clarion call that a spiritual seeker answers to indicate to the universe that he is done with playing games and is ready for the highest that evolution has to offer – total and complete liberation.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||
Published by – Testimonials Team, 16th June 2019
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